1 Mother 2 Another

We’ve had a death in our family
recently, and it’s the first time we’ve had to figure
out how to deal with the topic with the girls. It’s still
pretty recent, so I’m not ready to get into a big blog about
it, but I’d sure appreciate any advice anyone has on the
subject.


We sat the girls down the day it happened and discussed it plainly
and gently. Cora, at 2 ½, has almost no grasp of death, and
Maddie at 4 ½ isn’t so much further ahead of her. But
Maddie’s mulling it over in her mind, I can tell, and
it’s only a matter of days before she makes that “Hey,
if that relative can die, maybe Mommy or Daddy can too!”
connection. And my girl’s a worrier, so it’s not going
to be something she’ll let go of easily.


Maddie’s got a great relationship with God, and that helps.
But I’m not at my best here, since I’m grieving myself,
and it’s all I can do to keep from snapping and yelling at
them over – literally – spilt milk, so Mommy’s
not helping the situation.


Any suggestions?

I know I’ve mentioned before that
we’ve got two silkys for each girl – identical, and
rotated periodically to insure even wear and tear. We try to switch
them out every couple of weeks and wash the old one, but sometimes
we get behind and don’t notice it until the current silky is
practically standing on its own, it’s so dirty. And then
there’s trouble.

A few people wrote asking how the
kindergarten registration went on Thursday, and I’m sorry I
left you hanging. A medicinal glass of wine afterwards left me less
ready to blog than usual, but I’ve had the weekend to process
and I’m ready to (sob) talk about it.


Ok, I’m exaggerating a little bit. It wasn’t THAT bad.
But it was a little bad.

Don't talk to me right now - I'm getting
myself in the "kindergarten registration" zone.


Yes, in a few short hours I'll be stampeding the parking lot with
hundreds (yes, hundreds - this school has 4-5 kindergarten classes
each year, and registration's for K-6) of desperate and weepy-eyed
parents, clutching our manila folders and praying we've crossed
all our "t"s and dotted all our "i"s. There's rampant rumors that
they'll be taking the kids off for very brief testing to determine
which class is a good "fit" for the child - how the heck are we
supposed to cram for that? We're desperately hoping Maddie will be
in the same room as a good friend of hers, so the other mom and I
are wondering - should we use the same adjectives to describe our
daughters? Or different ones, if they're seeking diversity for
each class?


How can we best manipulate the situation to my daughter's
advantage?


I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes - unless I'm still
comatose from the trauma.

I’ve spent the last few days
Xeroxing and organizing and compiling and color-coding. No, not
taxes – nor are we closing on a house.


It’s time to register Maddie for kindergarten.


Registration is this Thursday afternoon as soon as the elementary
school lets out, and I have to tell you, I’m already
contemplating binge drinking for the day. Do they want to see
Maddie’s original birth certificate, or do they need a copy
for their records? Doesn’t matter, because I’ve got
both, ready to go, in separate piles. I’ve made copies of all
the forms I’ve filled out, with the originals separated
neatly. I’ve confirmed her “emergency contacts”
and filled in home phones, cell phones, and work phones for such an
emergency.


In short, I’m ready.


But I’m not ready.

Interested in free food?


How about free sugary food?


We've got two giveaways today worth mentioning -


First, Starbucks is giving away a free pastry with any hand-crafted
(read: no bottled Frappucino) drink purchase. The only catch is
that you need the coupon you can find on the bottom of href="http://consumerist.com/2010/03/ben-jerrys-and-starbucks-both-giving-away-free-food-tomorrow.html"
target="_blank">this page - and that it has to be before
10:30 a.m.


Second, and even better, it's FREE CONE DAY at Ben and Jerry's! I
could've sworn they usually do this in April, but I am not one to
look at gift cone in the mouth. Go to any Ben and Jerry's store
between 12 p.m. and 8 p.m. today and get a free cone. No coupons,
no catches. Eat it up, run outside, and get back in line again if
you so desire.


I love me some Free Cone Day.


It's the perfect day - caffeine and a scone for you in the
morning, then a run to Ben and Jerry's after dinner for the
family.


Or, if you're like me, a run to Ben and Jerry's during the kids'
naptime for you, then a return trip after dinner for the whole
family.

Since Brian was out of town part of spring
break last week (yeah, I’ll forgive him for that one some
day) he took the rest of the week off when he got back, and on
Friday we went out of town for a little day trip. We didn’t
go far – only a couple hours out of the city – but it
was definitely the longest the girls have been in the car at one
stretch (that they remember) and we were both a bit apprehensive
about it when we set out.


Being the over-organized, must-control-everything person that I am,
I spent the night before in a frenzy of preparation. We were
heading to an outdoor wildlife conservation park, where you can
drive through the park and feed the wild animals from your car.
Giraffes and zebras walk right up to your car to say hi, and
knowing the girls’ love of animals we thought it’d be a
good fit. I’d ordered seats on the guided tour beforehand,
and simply had to plan for the time in the car.

This week the Consumer Product Safety
Commission, that helpful government agency which issues recalls on
unsafe products, sent out a press release this week on baby slings.
They’ve been researching infant deaths related to baby slings
over the past twenty years, and have found that an overwhelming
percentage of infant deaths – including three last year alone
– have been in babies under four months of age.

Precisely who is this "spring break" thing
considered a "break" for?


I haven't been this busy with entertainment programming and meal
planning since I worked on a cruise ship, calling bingo and
organizing costume masquerades for bored tanned tourists during
their "at sea" days. And at least then they were distracted by the
twelve-course buffets set out for them every two hours, with
absolutely no effort on my part.


We've been bowling. We've had play dates. We've gone out to
lunch. We've dressed up and put on full-length productions, put
together every puzzle in the house - three times, and baked copious
amounts of baked goods. When does school start up again?


Gotta run - time to pack a picnic lunch. And organize a quick bingo
game.

We went out to lunch yesterday to
celebrate Maddie’s second-ever hair-cut, and when I asked her
where she wanted to go she led us to Which Wich, the quick
restaurant that sells the exact same menu - pb&j and
ham-n-cheese- that I make, but at three times the cost. When I
asked Maddie why she wanted to go there, Maddie said,
“Because they have good chips.” Cora added,
“Yeah, and good cheese!”

I think I’ve probably got a
half-dozen blogs with that title – denial seems to be an
integral tactic in my parenting arsenal. In denial about
baby’s first birthday; about the first time she didn’t
look back when she walked away to play with a friend; about
starting preschool.


About starting kindergarten.

A few days ago, Baby Fish (Cora’s
current moniker) and I were at the outlet mall, finishing up our
spring shopping. We walked into the Children’s Place store
and Cora immediately set to work –this girl is a first-class
shopper. She’ll grab handfuls of clothing, coordinate outfits
together, the whole thing, and be astonished when I don’t buy
everything she’s got. I have to admit, she’s usually
got a good eye.


This day Cora seemed on a mission, and she was so busy that she
soon had quite a pile. She’d pick a shirt up, eye it
critically, and either put it back where she found it or add it to
her heap. A few minutes later she came over with her huge armful.
“Mommy Fish (my current moniker), I’ve got all my
clothes here.”

As I mentioned earlier in the week, I read
a few interesting articles recently about children’s health.
And I know I’m about to open up a ginormous can of worms
here, but I think these findings are important enough to bring to
your attention.


I know that autism is more prevalent today than ever, and that
there are a lot of worried parents out there. I also know that I
have two healthy girls and do not have to walk a mile in your
shoes, so I’m saying that right off the bat. But if I were a
parent with an autistic child, I know I’d be reading
everything I could get my hands on to figure out how to make my
child’s life better.


And I know that there are many people out there who choose not to
vaccinate their children, at least in part because of a concern
that vaccinations might trigger or directly cause autism in a
child. One of my best friends does not vaccinate, and we have to
agree to disagree even as I struggle to keep myself from kidnapping
her child and taking him or her to the doctor for some shots, just
because of the firsthand stories I’ve witnessed of
kindergarteners nearly dying of the mumps or adults suffering a
debilitating case of shingles because they had chicken pox as a
child. I’ve read probably more than most parents of
non-autistic children on the subject, simply out of a desire to
know, and I can understand the fear – there are a lot of
studies out there, especially in Great Britain, citing a link
between vaccinations and autism.

I blogged a few weeks ago about how Cora
likes to become someone else – say, Thomas the Tank Engine
– and will answer to no other name than that for the entire
day. It’s been cute but I have to tell you, this trend is
starting to wear out its welcome.


Last Friday Cora was “The Jazz Girl”. It’s a long
story about how she got the name, but she used it the whole day. As
in, “The Jazz Girl likes to ride in cars”, or
“Jazz Girl wants a snack”. Yesterday Cora was
Cinderella, and took it even one step further by insisting I was
the fairy godmother and only speaking to me on those terms.
“Cinderella wants the Fairy Godmother to push her on the
swings.” “Cinderella hopes the Fairy Godmother will
pick her up soon.”

I mentioned yesterday that I’d been
reading some interesting child-related articles recently. One such
article was target="_blank">Healthy Child, Healthy World’s recent
blog entitled, href="http://healthychild.org/blog/comments/the_top_10_toxic_products_you_dont_need/"
target="_blank">“The Top Ten Toxic Products You Don’t
Need”.


I’m going to highly recommend that you read this article
yourself – it’s short, easy, and filled with ideas for
substitutes for supposed can’t-live-withouts like oven
cleaner (which I have never in my adult life used, and as you know
I’m quite the baker). And you know that I’m probably on
the left side of the earth-friendly, tree-hugging,
make-your-own-everything spectrum. But these things aren’t
all difficult to give up, I promise, and the benefits are
enormous.

I feel like I spend every Monday
apologizing for clocking out of the blog thing while my family
dealt with yet another cold the week before. Last week Cora and I
both came down with another cold on Tuesday night – while I
was STILL suffering symptoms of the last cold! It’s
completely insane, I tell you. And Cora had a double ear infection
while I only had a single one – I swear we’re identical
twins when it comes to illness.


We spent a couple days feeling like death warmed over, and were
back in the swing of things a bit by Friday. Sunday night found me
with a new tickle at the back of my throat which I’m
steadfastly refusing to acknowledge. And yes, I know it’s at
least partly allergies, but I’m already on allergy medication
every day of my life so I’m not sure what more can be done.


If that weren’t enough, the weather’s turned cold and
rainy after a few teasing days of glorious sunshine and balmy
temperatures. I’ve been cleaning out closets and updating
wardrobes and have swimsuits and shorts on the brain, not sweaters
and fleece.


Wherefore art thou, good weather and good health??


I spent part of last week reading a couple really interesting
child-related health articles – I’ll fill you all in on
that over the next few days. Really interesting stuff, I
promise.

During Christmas break, the family took a
trip to the GapKids outlet to get a few necessities. Big mistake,
of course, because we were still in “heck, it’s
Christmas, let’s spoil ‘em!” mode, and what I had
thought would be a ten dollar visit for socks ended up costing us
almost eighty bucks. The girls found a whole line of spring rain
gear, put on the rain jacket and rubber boots, and danced around
the store twirling their matching umbrellas. They looked so darn
cute in the yellow-with-green outfits, like big sunny daisies, that
we put up only a token fight. I reasoned weakly that they’d
need SOME sort of rain gear here, so it might as well be matching.
With bonnets. And umbrellas.