1 Mother 2 Another

A friend of mine wrote me a brief email
while on vacation recently, and joked about how she was enjoying
being around her kids so much, and how surprised she was by that.
This is a mom who’s the primary caregiver, but also works
part-time outside the home, so she’s always on the run. I
smiled when I read her note, picturing her having a wonderful,
no-stress time with her kids. We often imagine that a family
vacation will be more like time with the Griswolds than with some
angelic form of your own kids, and picture seven days of no breaks
from your kids as a kind of slow-water-drip torture, when the
reality is that when you get time away from the grocery shopping
and job and bill paying and errand running, you actually have a
rather fun time with your kids – quality time at its finest.


Then there’s me, on the other end of the spectrum. I’ve
had waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much quality time.

I can’t believe I’m writing
this, but I think it’s time to start buying stuff for Maddie
for school in September. Is my baby really old enough to need
things for school? Ok, preschool, but still –


I’m having to control my dewy-eyed, “Sunrise,
Sunset” tendencies because Maddie’s already preparing
to bolt from the whole school idea. She and her friend Elise, who
will be in Maddie’s class with her, both have some sort of
innate ambivalence – perhaps even dislike – of school,
and are quietly scheming to get out of it somehow. God help us if
they ever hear about the whole homeschooling concept.


But I digress.

A year ago, a friend of mine moved and I
offered to come in and help organize her kitchen – it’s
one of my “things”. She accepted, and I told her
I’d just have to find a time to come when I could get
babysitting for the two girls. My (childless) friend then
generously (but naively) said, “Why don’t you just
bring the girls with you? They can play around my new place.”


After I stopped laughing hysterically and wiped away the tears, I
explained that having a one-year-old and three-year-old underfoot
would be, um, unhelpful, and I’d get no work done on her
kitchen at all. Even more, I shuddered to think of the damage my
one-year-old Cora could inflict on her way-un-babyproofed
house.

Cora’s hit a recent patch of
stubbornness – ok, not so recent, since I can’t recall
a time when she WASN’T stubborn – and it’s become
a battle of wills over –of all things – manners.


When Cora and Maddie want to be finished with a meal, we ask them
to say, “May I be excused please?” and wait for an
assenting reply before getting down. Or, in Cora’s case,
being unsnapped from the high chair. This is not a big deal, and
something Maddie does with very little reminder now. Cora,
similarly, was well programmed and saying it quite neatly for a
while now.

Cora was up almost once an hour last
night. Good times.


What’s the deal? No teeth coming in – I probed
extensively. And she didn’t cry at night the whole first week
she gave up her pacifier, so I’m guessing that’s not
it. It comes across as a nightmare, and I’m giving in to my
instinct and going in and rocking her each exhausting time, even
though part of me knows I’m going to have to sleep train her
AGAIN because of it.


Oh, and that’s in addition to the fact that she’s had
to cry herself to sleep every nap time since she gave up her
pacifier last week. So it’s not like I’ve not been
sleep-training her recently anyway.


Me too tired to type. See you Monday.

Cora’s hit that adorable stage where
she talks extremely well and grasps complex ideas like pronouns or
the passage of time, but she still doesn’t always get
everything exactly right.


Last night the girls were dressed up in costume (there’s
something new) and dancing around (ditto) to their iPod music.
Costumes had taken some serious consideration, and Cora had, after
careful deliberation, chosen the Ariel costume. Well, the Ariel
costume is size 4-6x, so you can imagine it was a little big for
her.

Remember how I griped yesterday about not
being appreciated, and resentful that what I do never seems good
enough for the kids? Listen to this:


Maddie and I were running errands, and she saw some fallen crape
myrtle flowers on the ground. “I want to pick up some of
these flowers for Daddy!” she said, and scooped up the fallen
little buds. I acquiesced, and she gathered several more and put
them in her cupholder.

Yesterday morning I had a meeting at the
school where I teach, and the girls needed to come along and hang
out. I packed vigorously for the two-hour meeting, determined they
wouldn’t get bored and start interrupting the grownups. I had
two (2!) types of snacks, dress-up clothes so they could put on
their costumes and dance in the big studio, their iPod so they
could dance to their favorite music, ballet shoes, activity boxes,
and markers.


I was prepared.

It’s no secret to my friends that I
absolutely adore a good book. I spent my childhood seeking out
extra opportunities to sneak in a chapter or two of my current
read, dragging my books backstage or even in the wings during
rehearsals. On one memorable occasion, I even sneaked a copy of
Charlotte’s Web into the bathroom late at night and
sat on the toilet seat, reading until dawn, so desperate was I to
find out what happened. I remember a bewildered and exhausted
father knocking on the bathroom door in the wee hours, saying,
“Are you ok in there?”


And of course I wasn’t, because I had an inkling how the book
was about to end.

Ok, so here’s the types of naked we
do in this household:

So far, so good with the pacifier-free
zone, but not without trials and tribulations.


As I mentioned, we’d spent all of Monday preparing Cora for
the imminent pacifier removal, and she’d nod solemnly.
Tuesday morning, I took the pacifier from her when she woke and
said, “Time to put the pacifier away for good! No more
pacifier for my big girl!” and she agreed and went downstairs
for breakfast.


My brave girl went the entire day without asking for her
pacifier.

Yesterday was Cora’s last official
day on the pacifier.


Cue doomsday music.

So we were sitting around eating some ice
cream Saturday night, each family member spooning in contented
silence. From out of nowhere, Brian piped up with a joke.

Today is Maddie’s last day of ballet
camp, and what a difference five days makes.


She wakes up every morning excited and ready for camp – well,
as excited as she can be when she’s tired and crabby. But
she’s not complained about it at all, or begged not to go,
since Sunday night. I’m so proud of her, and her relative
ease in conquering this latest hill.


Maddie's camp is studying the Sleeping Beauty ballet, and we've
spent several nights this week going over what Maddie has learned.
We put on Tchaikovsky's music and dance around the room, Maddie
explaining the plotline to Cora and shouting out stage directions
to everyone. The class gets to watch a bit of the ballet each day
on DVD, and Maddie can't wait for the grand finale today. They've
also been doing crafts each day, coloring pictures of costumes and
making fairy wands, and she's quite impressed with herself and her
creations.


In the interest of full disclosure, Maddie does ask me every day if
I would stay the whole time rather than going home with Cora for a
couple of hours. Every morning she tells me that she doesn’t
like it when I leave, and I know this is dim foreshadowing of the
trouble we’re going to have at preschool drop-off this fall.
But right now, I’m just proud of how well she’s done
this week. This has been a big step for her.


As for Cora, she’s getting a glimpse of the fall as well
– a glimpse of long, luxurious stretches of time when she
gets Mommy all to herself. So I think I can safely say that both
girls have enjoyed the week, and wish it would last longer.

We spend many mornings poolside –
and when I say mornings, I mean 10 a.m. to 1:30 or so. We take
snack breaks and consume lots of fruit and water, but by the time
we head home for naptime the girls are parched and drooping. And
that’s when I whip out my secret weapon.


I’ve got a special dessert – “Mango Sorbet”
– that I use when I need to keep the girls cooled off and
hydrated. Made purely from fruit and full of liquid and vitamins,
it is a great answer to a hot day. Maddie and Cora are in love with
my “Mango Sorbet”, thinking it’s this awesome
dessert they get to eat in the middle of the day. In reality, it
couldn’t be healthier. Here’s how you make it:

Cora has discovered that she can say
whatever she wants, whether she has any true authority over the
matter or not. And Madeleine, bless her heart, doesn’t yet
fully realize that she doesn’t have to listen to Cora. You
can imagine the results.


Cora’s current favorite game is to order Maddie not to smile.
They’ll be sitting, peaceably eating their breakfasts, when
Cora will look up out of the blue and say calmly, “You
can’t smile, Maddie.” Notice she doesn’t give
Maddie an order – “Don’t smile” – she
simply issues a decree – “You can’t smile”.
And Maddie, bless her obedient little heart, nearly crumples to
tears every time, whimpering, “Why not? Why can’t I
smile?” followed by the omnipresent –


“Mooooooooooooooom! Cora says I can’t smile!”

Maddie woke up Monday morning without a
single argument on her lips about going to ballet camp.


Praise God for His miracles and mercies!

First, the good news -


Maddie is no longer afraid to go under water! In what is now
becoming typical fashion for her, something simply switched on
inside Maddie’s head last week and she decided she
wasn’t afraid to put her face in the water. Thursday morning
at swim class, no face in the water. Thursday night at the pool,
face in the water over and over and over. And ever since then,
Maddie begs for pool time, plunging in with goggles strapped
securely on and wriggling to me or Daddy.


But just as I wipe my brow and say, Whew, another fear conquered,
something else comes up and we start all over again.

Maddie and Cora had their well-baby visits
yesterday, and received clean bills of health all around, for which
I am profoundly grateful.


As is my habit, I had a chat with the doctor about a couple of
things going on in their lives that are on my radar right now, and
we’ve got some good news and some bad news for the girls in
terms of their near futures.


First, the good news. Both girls were tested for strep to see if
they’re carriers, and neither one of them are. Which means
that all the times they’ve been sick this year, it’s
been because they’ve actually caught strep from someone else.
Which I guess if I think about it is actually bad news, because I
can’t think of a way to protect us more.


Now for the bad news, mostly for Cora. It’s time for the
pacifier to go.