1 Mother 2 Another

I’ve been proud of the fact that
Cora’s been saying her name for a few months now –
it’s so cute to see a toddler’s satisfaction at
pointing to herself and saying, “I Cora!” But just over
the last week or so, Cora’s adjusted her name slightly, much
to our first puzzlement, then embarrassment. Cora now calls
herself, “Oh Cora!”


The first time I heard her doing this I wasn’t sure I heard
her right. I tried to figure out what she was asking for –
“Go Cora”? “Show Cora”? But nothing fit. I
finally had to give in and acknowledge that she was saying
“Oh Cora!” I just couldn’t figure out why.

As we hover on the brink of the official
Christmas season (though I still can’t believe it’s now
considered “late” to start Christmas stuff the day
after Thanksgiving!) I’ve been working on my Christmas
shopping. Finances are tight everywhere this year, and for the past
several months I’ve been working the sales and buying a few
things at a time, spreading out the cost.


The problem with this approach is two-fold: first, you can end up
picking up several “little” gifts, and have spent your
budget without buying anything meaningful, since you don’t
see the overall picture as the gifts are smuggled into your house.
This can be at least partially solved by using a variation of my
famous gift spiral – see earlier blog on that. But second,
what you buy in September may not be what your kid is into come
December. And you may have amassed yourself a huge collection of
Barbie gear, only to find out your child is now in love with
Thomas. For example.

Cora’s been symptom-free for
twenty-four hours now, Glory Glory Hallelujah. And all my
rocking/cleaning-up time with Cora gave me an opportunity to think
about my day off on Saturday, and what I learned from it.


Basically, my beloved husband gave me Time Off for my birthday last
month – a stretch of time to be dictated by me, for purposes
to be chosen by me. His blank check (well, as blank as our finances
would allow) was one of the nicest gifts I’ve ever gotten.
The last time I’ve had more than a few hours to myself was
May of 2006, as a Mother’s Day gift. That time, I left Brian
with several bottles of pumped milk and an anxious 11-month-old
Maddie. I spent the day roaming around the city, reveling in my
freedom and falling back in love with New York.

Saturday I had my first full day off - no
strings attached, no running home for naptimes, no work, no errands
- since May of 2006. It was awesome and wonderful and I'd love to
tell you all about it, and the deep Mommy insights I gained with
twelve hours to myself.


Unfortunately, I don't have time to chat because Cora is sick.


Yes, Cora spent Sunday doing one of two things: puking, or sleeping
in someone's arms. So my back is aching from lying semi-prone on
the couch for two hours at a stretch, and there's a faint vomit
smell I suspect is coming from my hair, but I can't quite pin it
down. I got a makeover on Saturday and its remnants are smudged
under my eyes, a la heroin chic. We've been through a couple dozen
towels and two Silkies, and Cora now cries every time someone sits
with her and starts to wrap a "just in case" towel around his- or
herself.


Maddie's been amazingly patient and understanding, lashing out for
attention much less frequently than I'd have imagined. I'm afraid
I'm the one not handling it well; it seems we've been sick either
the whole month or the whole fall, depending on how you look at
things.


I'm hoping this is short-lived; Maddie spent Friday lounging on
the couch, saying her tummy felt "throw-up sick". She never hurled,
and seemed much better on Saturday so hopefully this will all be
behind us tomorrow.


But just in case, if you see me on the streets the next few days
and go in for a hug, hold your breath while your face is near my
hair. It's not a pretty smell.

I know, I usually do recipe talk on
Wednesday (“What’s For Dinner Wednesday” just
sounds better) but I made a new recipe yesterday and wanted to
share.


Before I share the recipe, you should know that I’m one of
those people who make lasagna from scratch. Yes, I’ve bought
frozen lasagna before – definitely not ashamed of that.
I’m just cheap, and like to add veggies to it. My stand-by
recipe is somewhat labor-intensive; I usually make a double batch,
which gives me two giant pans or two pans plus a small one, and
will spend a few hours doing the noodle-boiling and sauce-making
and so on. I love my lasagna recipe, but it is exhausting and takes
much planning.

Yeah, of course Maddie didn’t pee in
the potty yesterday. What else could I expect, since we went out
that morning and got a cool little toy? And since I was so sure she
had turned that corner, and was ready to move forward?


Honestly, I don’t get it. She used the potty once yesterday,
but deliberately chose to use her diaper every other time. At the
toy store, she said she didn’t think they had a bathroom, and
during the day at home she said it was just easier. I know
she’s not trying to be difficult or naughty; I just
can’t figure out the best way to help her over this hurdle. I
started asking her to sit on the potty every couple of hours, in
case she wasn’t planning ahead enough, and by the end of the
day she was crying every time I had her sit down on the toilet.
I’m making her miserable on this, and I know that’s not
helping the situation.

Yesterday, Maddie used the big-girl potty
the entire day.


Yes, we’re back to potty training. Maddie gave up using the
potty months ago after an accident, vowing to never again use the
big-girl potty. But about a week ago Maddie announced she’d
like to use the potty occasionally – “Just to go pee,
no poopy!” Then two days ago, Maddie pooped in the big potty.
Incredulous, she grinned triumphantly. “That was easy!
I’m going to poop in the potty all the time now!”

Apparently my two-week cold is actually a
sinus infection. Huh. That explains the migraines.


On the good news front, as a no-longer-breastfeeding mom, I have
two words:


Ny. Quil.

I’ve managed to keep Maddie away
from a few things that I know will eventually be a part of her food
repertoire, most noteably gum and soda. We introduced cookies and
cakes and candy at age 2, and have been slowly allowing her to have
a few things a month; I want to raise a healthy child who can make
healthy choices, but not one who is so sucrose-deprived that she
spends her girl scout dues on a Ding Dong, snarfing it guiltily in
the guest bathroom before announcing to her troop leader that Mommy
forgot to giver her cash this week, sorry. But the gum and soda
I’m holding out on for a while more. Daddy drinks diet Coke,
and Maddie accepts that she can’t have any. And no one in the
family really chews gum so that’s not a huge issue either.


But the one thing Maddie’s discovered that she considers
almost more of a treat than chocolate? Tic Tacs.

While Cora’s separation anxiety has
definitely gotten better, it’s certainly not a complete thing
of the past, and as the clinginess gets less and less frequent, I
find myself becoming more and more intolerant of it. I know that
sounds crazy, but she’s gotten so good at finding comfort in
other people that when she reverts back my patience just
isn’t as dominant as it used to be.


Cora’s Mommy need usually surfaces somewhere around a stretch
of sleep – right after she wakes up in the morning, or first
thing after her nap. There’s always a bit of re-entry time
required for her: sometimes snuggling and rocking in her chair for
a few minutes, sometimes just a quick quiet song hummed in her ear
as I carry her downstairs. Then more likely than not she’s
off and running, looking for trouble.

If you’re like me, you began your
Christmas shopping a few months ago. Incredibly organized and on
top of my life? Nope – just trying to spread out the
financial pain a bit, make Christmas not such a shock to the
checkbook come December and January. (Oh, January – that
painful month when the big credit card bill comes in and all the
toys it bought are already broken.) So I’ve been buying
things when I see good sales, and squeezing a bit of shopping in
each week. Thankfully, my girls are too young to realize they could
tear my bedroom apart and find all their gifts; in our comfy, large
house, there’s surprisingly little private space and Mommy
and Daddy’s bedroom closet is simply known as the place to go
play with the cat. I’m so glad they don’t look up and
see those poorly-concealed Little People boxes above their heads.


Anyway, as I try to spread the spending out, I’ve got a
couple tricks up my sleeve to make all this a little easier.

My being sick last week seriously depleted
my stores of frozen casseroles and back-up dinners (think Hamburger
Helper and the Blue Box – my children were in culinary
heaven) and I’ve got some lost ground to make up here. So
this week I’m bringing out one of my favorite staples, which
I discovered last spring – href="http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/nwsltr/recipeoftheday/stories/041508recipeofday_casserole_0416liv.State.Edition1.6a0a74fe.html"
target="_blank">Chicken Chili Casserole.

I remember when my girlfriend Abby’s
second son was right around 18 months, and began entering into the
whole testing-boundaries-and-starting-to-need-discipline thing.
Josh is four months younger than Maddie, so I’d just started
dealing with that myself, but of course Abby had an older son and
had already been through it, so she wasn’t quite as
blindsided and bewildered – who is this child and what have
you done with my good-natured, placid baby? – as I was.


All the same, Abby had a bit of baby shock when Josh hit that
stage, because he was so different than her older son Isaiah.
“I swear, Jen,” she’d gripe on the phone,
“Isaiah was never this rebellious. Josh will stand there,
stare right at you, and deliberately do something you know is wrong
– grinning this huge ‘ain’t I a stinker?’
grin the whole time.” I had this clear picture in my head of
the little stinker, and counted my blessings that Maddie was not
like that; she may have disobeyed and known it was wrong, but it
was always with this furtive, guilty look on her face – the
whole “I know it’s bad but I can’t help
myself” look.

I’m back, I think, though I speak
cautiously lest any unemployed germs hear of my new-found health
and decide to go hang out in my colon again.


Last week was truly fun, I tell ya. Five days almost completely in
bed, with a trip to the doctor providing me with a cold to pile on
top of it. And of course, Cora had to come down with said cold as
well, which produced an instantaneous ear infection. So I had to
drag her to the doctor on Thursday when her temperature remained
103 in spite of steady doses of Motrin and Tylenol, and I could
barely restrain myself from shoving Cora over on the examining
table and lying down next to her.

Well, day five of the stomach virus.


But it gets better -


I went to the doc on Tuesday to confirm it was, indeed, a virus and
thus impervious to antibiotics, and apparently brought a second
viral infection home with me. Cora and I both got hit with a sore
throat and fever late Wednesday night, and a trip to the doctor
confirmed it's not strep, just a second virus. So I'm recovering
from the first, though still sick, and Cora's running a 103 fever
in spite of the Motrin.


See ya next week.

I'm in Day Two of some nasty stomach
thing, so you'll have to wait one more day for the excruciatingly
cute pictures of Maddie trick-or-treating.


Sorry.