1 Mother 2 Another

I don’t know about anyone else, but
my house still looks as if Christmas exploded in it. I’m
trying to get a grip on the thing, but it’s not easy;
Brian’s on vacation this week and we’re trying to do
fun things as a family, so I hate to have him watch the kids while
I organize. And of course, housework waits for no one, so
I’ve piles of laundry to get to, grocery shopping to do,
meals to prepare – the usual list. So finding a place for all
the new toys keeps sliding down to the bottom of my
“to-do” list, much to the delight of my kids.


Yes, they’re thrilled that our living room floor looks like
the stock room of FAO Shwarz. Every morning they come downstairs
for breakfast, only to be reminded on sight of all their new toys,
which of course distracts them from eating and calls them to play.
I stand in the kitchen, ignored, until stomachs growl too loudly
and they look at me as if they can’t understand why their
breakfast isn’t waiting for them at the table.

I hope everyone’s holidays were
fabulous and low-key (I hear exhausted parents sniggering
everywhere at that – I myself was up to the wee hours
assembling Santa’s Thomas the Train set and table – but
that’s a different blog). We had a wonderful time, overall,
and I can’t wait to fill you in.


But before I do, I’ve got to share our Christmas Eve with
you, because it’s the story making the rounds of our family
table right now and I can’t keep this video to myself.

I'd love to stay and chat, but I've got
angel wings to attach to pageant costumes, sweet potato casseroles
to make, presents to wrap, train tables to sneak into the house,
and a birthday cake for Jesus to frost. So I'll see you on the
flip side of Christmas. I'll have lots to tell you; Maddie debuts
as an angel in her first pageant today, and Cora saw her first
"Nutcracker" last night - and that's all before the hullabaloo of
Christmas!


Have a joyous one, and we'll talk in a few days.

We’re still wrestling with the
potty-training issue and Maddie, but hopefully the end is in sight.


Maddie has peed in the potty for months now, never once using a
diaper. But she still insists on pooping in a diaper, and does so
deliberately. She’ll go through phases of pooping on the
potty – a day or two – then changing her mind
again.

We had our first party as a family this
weekend and survived to tell the tale.


The annual Christmas party Brian and I used to have was put on hold
when Maddie was born, and this was the first year we had the energy
to revive the thing. In years past it’s been an open house
starting around 9 p.m. and going to the wee hours, but this time we
kicked off at 10 a.m. and went right up to that immovable deadline
of naptime. Aside from the obvious problems, like re-thinking the
menu for brunch rather than Friday night nibbles, I was most
concerned with the logistics of having a party with little kids:
would our playgroup friends be comfortable around childless
co-workers, and vice-versa? Would the kids have a good time? Would
they wreck the house and leave it uninhabitable for adult
partygoers? Would Cora indulge herself in her current favorite
pastime – Taking Off the Pants?

We celebrated my sister-in-law’s
birthday recently by having her and her husband over for dinner.
Maddie and Cora both adore their aunt and uncle, and look forward
for any chance to hang out with them and show off all their tricks.
The minute they walk in the door the girls hang on them like
puppies, scampering around their feet and begging for attention.


Maddie’s been on a good streak with potty-training, using the
potty to pee all the time now and saving the diapers for “the
other stuff”. So when she said she needed to pee we hurried
off to the bathroom, leaving Aunt Nikkie and Uncle Daniel playing
with Cora. Maddie had been to gymnastics class that morning and had
refuse to take off her leotard and leggings, making the potty thing
a much more complicated affair than it had to be. Add to that the
fact that Maddie’s just learned how to put on her own leotard
and insists on doing it herself with laborious concentration, and
bathroom breaks were running a bit long that day.

We had our Angel Tree party volunteer
time, and I can say it was a success on many levels.


Our church offered to pull together gifts and a party for a local
Head Start class, and Maddie and I selected a little girl and got a
gift for her last week. When the party organizer told me we could
come volunteer at the event, I jumped at the chance for Maddie to
see charity and compassion at work – to see the face of the
little girl she’d “helped”.


I was only a little hesitant at going to the event; bringing an
18-month-old and a 3-year-old to a party is not always the wisest
course, especially when the party’s not for them. But Maddie
and I talked about the party, and I explained it was our chance to
give a fun party for other people and make other kids feel good for
a while. She seemed ok with that, so we went ahead. And I’m
really glad we did.

I haven’t talked much the past few
weeks about the Christmas-y things we’ve done as a family,
but we’ve done quite a few: Maddie and I went to see her
first “Nutcracker” ballet performance, the whole family
made our annual trip for a photo with Santa, our playgroup had
cookies with Santa one afternoon, and the girls and I have been
baking up a storm in preparation for our big annual holiday party
this weekend, just to name a few.


I worry that the whirlwind of the holiday season will leave the
girls jaded and bored once “real” life returns, and
there’s not something new and exciting involving sugar
cookies every day. At the same time, I see how excited Maddie is as
we go from event to event, and how magical the whole thing feels to
her. Every morning the girls discuss whose turn it is to open the
Advent calendar door at dinner that night, and they speculate on
what will be behind the door all day long. We listen to Christmas
music and dance around in our tutus for hours at a time, and
Maddie’s tried to teach Cora the Nutcracker story so Cora
will play the Rat King and Maddie can hit her with her shoe. The
girls are having a wonderful time this season, and I have to admit
it’s pretty darn fun for me to be along for the ride.

We went to a friend’s birthday party
over the weekend, which served as a stark reminder that I have
crossed that line and am now and will always be a Mommy. It also
pointed out to me that I spend waaaaaaaaaaaaay too much time with
other mommies with kids, and need to get out into the
“other” world a little more often.


My friend is childless, as are pretty much all of her friends, but
she loves my kids and the girls wanted desperately to go to her
party, so we brought them along for a quick drop-in since the party
was in the evening and we have the whole toddler bedtime thing.
Since it was a surprise party, we were there ahead of my friend and
thus spent a good twenty minutes surrounded by strangers politely
staring and trying to figure out who would bring a one-year-old to
a twenty-something’s birthday party.

We went to Chick-Fil-A yesterday for
lunch, a reward for the girls’ patiently entertaining
themselves at home all morning while I did housework and failed to
lead them in fun games and craft projects. I like the relatively
healthy food choices, and Maddie loves the play area, so everyone
wins. Throw a guest appearance by Maddie’s best friend Maxum
into the mix and you’ve got a winning lunch time.


At any rate, the grown-ups were happily sitting on the shoe bench
chatting while the kids crawled and played over our heads in the
plastic observation cars and exploratory tubes, when I heard Maddie
start screaming and wailing. This was the close-to-panic,
I’m-freaking-out scream, and I launched into action, climbing
up those big twisty steps and squeezing myself into the tunnel.

Ok, so that’s probably not the most
flattering title, but it’s the best I could come up with.
Hopefully you know what I mean. I’m not talking about giving
gifts to people you don’t really care about – those are
gifts, to me, best left un-given, money and energy better directed
elsewhere. But that’s a blog for another day.


No, when I talk about peripheral gift-giving, I mean all the people
in your life that you want to recognize and honor in some small
way, but that you may not know well enough to come up with a truly
personal gift. I’m thinking of preschool teachers, Sunday
school volunteers, soccer coaches or ballet teachers, even mothers
you don’t know well in your large mom’s group.
I’ve polled (very unscientifically) several friends of mine
who are teachers, and found out what they like and what
doesn’t work so well.

So there Brian and I sat last night,
trying to catch up on our tiVo, when we suddenly hear the tornado
sirens going off. We check our bedroom and sure enough, our weather
radio’s come on with a tornado warning.


Hello??? Isn’t this December???

Last weekend Brian had tickets to the
hockey game – the Stars were playing in town, and he’d
gotten free tickets in a contest. For several weeks he’d been
carrying the tickets around in his work briefcase, checking
periodically to make sure they were there. Then the morning of the
game he went to get them out – and they were gone.


We tore the house apart, looking everywhere. All those little
stacks of paper miscellaney that I seem to collect, assiduously
sorted through. Every trash can, every nook and cranny, every toy
box. The tickets were simply gone.

So Maddie woke up yesterday morning
moaning and saying her stomach hurt. A few minutes later she cried
that she had to throw up, and I picked her up and ran her into the
bathroom. It turned out to be a false alarm, but as I tucked her
back into bed (after laying out several layers of waterproof pads
and towels underneath her) I also grabbed the kidney-shaped
hospital bowl you’re given when you need to puke in the
hospital. We snuggle under the covers and read books together until
Cora woke up and I went in to get her.

First off, if you haven’t read
yesterday’s blog, read that before going on.


So yesterday morning Maddie was admiring our Advent calendar,
looking at the scene and talking about Jesus’ birth and
speculating on what would be behind that night’s door (is it
a shepherd? A donkey? The suspense is killing me!). Maddie would go
take off the magnetic pieces we’d already put on the board,
which I allowed as long as she stayed at the board with them. I
also made sure she knew not to play with the doors, or try to move
the board itself since it was not firmly planted anywhere.

Every night I put Cora to bed; we read
books, say prayers, and rock together until she’s sleepy.
Sometimes this happens quickly, but sometimes it takes forever and
I’m in a crabby mood by the time I leave her room, thinking
of all I have still to do before I can go night-night myself.


First on that list is going in to see Maddie – once
Cora’s down I have to go snuggle and say goodnight to my
oldest. It’s a fairly recent development in the evening
routine and I’m not always very tolerant of it; on nights
when I’ve spent a long time getting Cora to sleep, the last
thing I want to do is get pinned down in another room, answering
endless questions and fulfilling neverending requests for back
scratches. I sometimes find myself hoping Maddie’s fallen
asleep waiting for me, though that only happens once a month or so
– she’s a determined kid, and will wait doggedly for me
to come in.

Yesterday was the start of December, and
to mark the occasion people all across the country cracked open
their Advent calendars. I grew up using one of the thin paper ones,
with little doors you pried open. A scripture verse was written on
the back of each door, and a picture from the nativity scene. I
used to love opening the Advent calendar, watching the days until
Christmas count down even as the scene of Christ’s birth was
revealed more fully each day.


The past few years have seen a huge resurgence of Advent calendars,
and those devices once the domain of Christians only have been
taken over by secular holiday celebrations as well. Now Pottery
Barn and Crate and Barrel sell wooden calendars, felt calendars,
metal ones, all with Christmas tree or Santa decorations. Each day
is another chocolate to eat, or a small treat to unwrap, as well as
another ornament to hang on the calendar “tree”. And
with my apologies to everyone out there who has one of those, these
calendars make me sad.