1 Mother 2 Another

When we found out that Brian was losing his job, he and I decided I’d add a few more hours to my work schedule each week. With this being Brian’s first official week of unemployment, my extended schedule has kicked into high gear and I find myself back in the workforce a bit more.

On the plus side, I’m able to work just fine – I’m not due until the end of May and have no reasons not to teach. I’ve got a loyal client base that quickly snapped up my extra hours, and I enjoy my work a lot. Brian’s got the time to cover a few more shifts with Maddie, and frankly she adores him so much she hardly notices I’m not there.

On the down side, I definitely notice she’s not there.

I came home from teaching Monday night just in time to put kiddo to bed. I left Tuesday morning before she was up, getting back home only a couple hours before dinner. With our regular home group over for dinner and discussion that night, I ended up spending maybe an hour of quality time with my daughter.

I truly love what I do and enjoy the time working outside the home – it’s saved my sanity several times, especially during that hard first year when I realized Mommy was my primary job description. But as Maddie becomes older I find myself enjoying my “home job” more and more – I feel less resentment and more enjoyment. Does that make sense? It’s as if, now that I’m not “forced” to stay home because she’s breastfeeding or whatever, and now that she’s got this amazing personality, I really want to stay home more. So as I walk back home from the subway after work, I find my step quickening as I anticipate getting to hang out with my girlie again.

Believe me, I know how lucky I am to have the option and a husband who supports my choices. And I know that in a few short weeks I’ll be back to square one, with a helpless newborn and jealous toddler demanding every second of my day. But for now, working these extra hours is helping me realize that as far as being a mommy goes, I really love my job.