1 Mother 2 Another

Maddie’s becoming quite the social
butterfly these days; she’s expanded her play date horizons
beyond hanging with her good friend from the neighborhood Naomi,
and is now making more of an effort to invite over or head to
friends’ houses in other boroughs. She’s been spending
more time with her friends from the church nursery and will soon
need her own Blackberry to keep up with her busy schedule.


As great as these play dates are for Maddie, though, I’ve got
to confess something.


I’m not scheduling these fun times so that my daughter gains
valuable interaction time, develops her inter-personal skills, or
learns how to make nice with others.


I’m doing this for me.

We recently went over to the house of my
friends href="http://leavened.blogspot.com">Rebecca and Graham; Rebecca
graciously arranged to use her house as a gathering point for their
daughter Elisabeth, my Maddie, and my girlfriend Abby’s two
boys Josh and Isaiah. While Maddie had fun bouncing around with the
other kids, I had a wonderful time eating snacks some other mom had
prepared and talking to other grownups for a while.


I remember spending Maddie’s first year wondering when
I’d get my own life back, and finally figuring out I never
will (sorry, new moms). But as she became more mobile, more
independent, and began to socialize at the park, I started seeing
that I wouldn’t have to spend the rest of my life devoting
every thought, every second, to Maddie’s immediate health and
development. Somewhere between a year and two years, you start
seeing toddlers yearn for interaction, and you’ll find that
you’re able to do a bit of chatting yourself.


On a daily basis, my neighborhood pal Ingrid keeps me sane. With
the weather so bitterly cold right now, the playground simply
isn’t an option, and Maddie’s got a whole morning to
fill with fun and exciting activities. So any time the wind chill
bottoms out you’ll see me and Ingrid taking turns bundling up
her child, grimly pressing forward in single digit temperatures as
we fight to walk the few blocks to the other person’s house.
Maddie and Naomi get to yell and scream with each other, and Ingrid
and I get to relax a bit, not work so hard to keep our respective
children occupied, and oh yes, have an adult conversation.


As Maddie gets easier to tote around and more amenable to car
rides, we’re expanding our horizons and seeing our church
friends more regularly. Which means that now I don’t have to
hurriedly catch up on a girlfriend’s life over coffee before
the sermon, but can sit back, eat a home-made scone, and gab with
girlfriends while Maddie bounces on Elisabeth’s bed.


Good for Maddie? You bet. But good for mommy, too. So if your
toddler’s at that age, get out there, girlfriend. Chat with
the neighbors on the street; start conversations at the park. I bet
you’ll find someone who has a child close to your age, is
compatible with your opinions on child-rearing, and is interested
in having a friend herself.


The sanity you save may be your own.