1 Mother 2 Another

Monday I ranted (a teensy bit) about
end-of-year teacher gifts, and how they’re often stressful
– and unnecessarily so.


Today I’m here to make some suggestions.


I spoke with a few friends, all of whom are teachers in the public
school system, to get their input on this thing. Here’s what
they had to say:

By far the winner here is a gift card. I
know that sounds cold and calloused, but your teacher will really
find them useful. Many schools have “Teacher Likes”
lists in the teachers’ lounge, with things like
“favorite color” or “favorite stores”
filled in. But even if you have no clue where your teacher likes to
shop, it’s hard to go wrong with places like Starbucks (they
sell smoothies and tea also!), Target (something for herself or her
house or even just toilet paper), and Staples (think school
supplies). And if all else fails, a Visa card cannot go wrong.


One of my friends commented that a whole class going in on a gift
card is super excellent; that way she doesn’t have twenty
five-or-ten-dollar gift cards stuffed in her purse. So if
you’re class mom, consider pulling that together instead of a
fruit basket.


Second on the list of “likes” was things for the
classroom: dry erase markers, pencils, cool push pins or paper
clips – anything useful or fun to brighten up her work space.
You may not find a gift basket of dry erase markers sexy, but when
a teacher spends her own hard-earned cash on replacement markers
mid-school-year because there’s no budget for new ones, trust
me, she sees those markers you give her differently.


Several of my friends also said that they’ve received unique,
personal gifts that have really touched them: a necklace in a style
she’d openly admired, a fancy frame when she’d just
gotten married, that sort of thing. This definitely takes knowing
your teacher, though.


And by far the most personal thing you can give a teacher is a
hand-written note, telling your teacher what sort of impact
she’s made on your child’s life. Everyone I spoke with
said they keep these notes forever, and these notes keep them
teaching through some dark times.


Which brings me to the subject of what NOT to get your teacher,
because my friends had plenty to say about that.


Please, they have all begged, do not give them any more bath
products or scented candles. They have more than they can use in a
lifetime, and in many cases the scents are not ones they like or
are in fact allergic to.


Second, food. This is a tough one, because I personally bake to
show people I love them. And if you have a close relationship with
your child’s teacher and know how much she loves chocolate
chip cookies and you really rock a homemade chocolate chip cookie,
then by all means whip her up a batch. In general, though, my
friends have said that many of them watch what they eat, and are
constantly battling the yummy fattening food come in (because
where’s the fun in making something healthy?) and wanting to
give in and not wanting to waste food and not wanting to hurt
feelings and . . . it’s just hard.


Third, I had two teachers tell me that one of their least favorite
gifts is anything with an apple on it. Sorry. Guess there’s a
lot of those gifts out there.


Finally, please understand the sheer volume of stuff that a teacher
receives from students. One of my friends has a mother who has
taught for decades, and if she kept all the precious hand prints
and homemade drawings and crooked pottery such that her students
have given her it would fill a warehouse.


She does not have a warehouse.


Stuff will get freecycled, or thrown away, or passed on to someone
else. Hence the request for cash.


If all this leaves you feeling a little crabby – why
can’t these teachers just be grateful they get anything at
all? – remember that gift-giving is optional. But if you are
choosing to give something, don’t you want it to be something
that will get used? And remember my friends that said they’ve
got every personal note ever written?


That’s what teachers love to get the most. The knowledge that
they are making a difference.


Tomorrow I’ll wrap this up, I promise, and let you know what
I’m doing for gifts this year. Yep, concrete examples that
don’t break the bank.