First Blood
It’s happened; my daughter’s perfect body has been marred. She’s been injured, and I did not prevent it. Worse, even – I was standing there when it happened and could not stop it.
My daughter cut her lip.
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Mommy's Day Off
For Mother’s Day this year, my darling daughter gave me a day off.On the back of a photo of her and my husband waving bye bye at the camera was written, “Mommy: You deserve a day off. I’ll watch Daddy. He’ll be ok, I promise.” So a couple Saturdays ago I had a whole day to myself for the first time in almost 12 months.
And it’s not that I even needed a lot of time to do something; it’s more that I needed time from being constantly “on”. I’ve never been more than one nursing away from my daughter; for the past six months I’ve been planning her solid meals as well, and for the past three months that’s included dicing fruits and vegetables thrice daily, coming up with a variety of nutritious starches for each meal, and rotating a medley of healthy protein for her. I spend half my day moving her towards or getting her up from a nap, arranging walks around crabby times and snack breaks, and in general always thinking three steps ahead.
I’m away from the house regularly for work – I’m not saying I’m never separate from her. But even when I’m out I’m on a short leash. As soon as work is over I’m rushing home to nurse her and put her to sleep. If I get to work 15 minutes early I run through Buy Buy Baby to buy the babyproofing gadget/sunhat/sippy cup we need and never have time to get. When my mom watches her and we’re at a movie (twice so far in the past twelve months), it’s racing home in time for lunch/snack/not imposing too much on mom.
My life revolves around her.
So for one brief day, the world stopped turning, and I walked away.
A Name I Call Myself
This week’s poll is up and running, and is a doozy.
This week
I want to hear how you define yourself as a mother. Are you a stay-at-home
mom? Do you work in the house? Outside the house? Have you made some sort
of unique blend that works for you?
The mommy war – stay-at-homes
vs. work-outside-the-homes – has been supposedly going on for a decade or
so now, and we all bristle at labels. So let’s see which ones you pick for
yourself. I’ve been doing a lot of reading on this and will be eager to
see what you say. I’ve got my own strong opinions on the subject
(surprise!) and hate the idea of being forced into a box myself, so I look
forward to talking about this next week. Please keep in mind that I'm not
trying to make anyone feel bad for the choices she's made; I'm mad at
society for pitting us against each other, for not providing adequate
national daycare options, and more. But I'm getting ahead of myself. So
weigh in on this, and if you think I haven't created a category that
describes you, or you have a unique story to tell, email me - I'd love to
hear about it.
And remember – you don’t need to be a registered
user to vote; simply click to have your voice heard; the poll's on the
right side of this home page, just below all the page tabs.
Separation Anxiety
I’ve got last week’s poll results in, and I realized that for the first time since I’ve been doing these polls, I wasn’t able to vote in it!
The poll asked when you first left your child overnight, and I haven’t done it yet. I’m not surprised that fewer people voted in this poll than any other one I’ve taken; we’re all pretty new at the mommy biz, and it takes a while to be able to leave kiddo overnight for the first time.
Of those who responded, most were separated for the first time around pre-school age or a bit younger; the earliest a mom reported having an overnight away was about one year of age.
I actually came very close to being able to vote in this thing; I nearly left my daughter overnight when she was less than four months old. I was my girlfriend Abby’s birth coach, and she went into the hospital for an induction because of low fluid on an evening about one week shy of Madeleine’s four-month mark. I raced to the hospital wondering if they’d have a pump they might lend me in the event this became an all-nighter, leaving behind a hungry child, three bottles of pumped milk, and a panicked husband who’d never put her to bed by herself before.
The poll asked when you first left your child overnight, and I haven’t done it yet. I’m not surprised that fewer people voted in this poll than any other one I’ve taken; we’re all pretty new at the mommy biz, and it takes a while to be able to leave kiddo overnight for the first time.
Of those who responded, most were separated for the first time around pre-school age or a bit younger; the earliest a mom reported having an overnight away was about one year of age.
I actually came very close to being able to vote in this thing; I nearly left my daughter overnight when she was less than four months old. I was my girlfriend Abby’s birth coach, and she went into the hospital for an induction because of low fluid on an evening about one week shy of Madeleine’s four-month mark. I raced to the hospital wondering if they’d have a pump they might lend me in the event this became an all-nighter, leaving behind a hungry child, three bottles of pumped milk, and a panicked husband who’d never put her to bed by herself before.
Storage Containers
A couple months ago, Madeleine discovered her nose.
As a parking spot.
The first time Maddie realized her finger was the same size as her nostril was Christmas morning and a birthday party all wrapped into one. Fortunately for me, she’s not (yet) turned into a nose picker; rather than view her nose as a source of food, she sees it as a musical instrument.
You see, she’s learned that putting a finger up her nose and singing produces the coolest sound ever. She experiments by plugging the nostril, crooning, and holding the note while she moves her finger in and out. She smiles delightedly, even as I rush to end the concert.
So we’re working on reproducing the sound without actually having to park. I’ve taught my daughter to put her finger next to her nose to approximate the same sound without the attractive visual to go with it. Thus far she’s good-naturedly agreed to go along with it.
I fear the fascination may be taking a new turn, though.
Recently at church we stood up as godparents during a dedication ceremony and of course Maddie was with us. She’d attached to a crayon during the service so we nervously allowed her to bring it along; it was white, so what harm could it do?
I can only hope that I was angled away from the video camera while Madeleine happily stuck the crayon up her nose.
Repeatedly.
At least she didn't provide accompanying vocals.
As a parking spot.
The first time Maddie realized her finger was the same size as her nostril was Christmas morning and a birthday party all wrapped into one. Fortunately for me, she’s not (yet) turned into a nose picker; rather than view her nose as a source of food, she sees it as a musical instrument.
You see, she’s learned that putting a finger up her nose and singing produces the coolest sound ever. She experiments by plugging the nostril, crooning, and holding the note while she moves her finger in and out. She smiles delightedly, even as I rush to end the concert.
So we’re working on reproducing the sound without actually having to park. I’ve taught my daughter to put her finger next to her nose to approximate the same sound without the attractive visual to go with it. Thus far she’s good-naturedly agreed to go along with it.
I fear the fascination may be taking a new turn, though.
Recently at church we stood up as godparents during a dedication ceremony and of course Maddie was with us. She’d attached to a crayon during the service so we nervously allowed her to bring it along; it was white, so what harm could it do?
I can only hope that I was angled away from the video camera while Madeleine happily stuck the crayon up her nose.
Repeatedly.
At least she didn't provide accompanying vocals.
The Sweetest Part of the Day
I wanted to finish off our official Sleep Week here at 1M2A on a positive
note. I look back and see a week of frustration and venting and hysterical
relief that things have gotten better, and I have to cleanse my kvetching
palate with the part of Maddie and sleeping that I love: mornings.
I
also have to make a confession in the interest of full disclosure.
I’ve
been on the record as a Ferber girl and have already said that the family
bed doesn’t work for us. But the truth is, we do sometimes snuggle up
together and I’m honestly a bit addicted.
So Glad I'm Not Alone!
As if to reassure me even more that the past few months of sleep-deprivation roller coaster were totally normal, my girlfriend Abby’s drawn up a chart chronicling her first year of sleep deprivation –er, life- with her older son, Isaiah.
I’m so glad it’s not just me. Let’s just count this year of sleep obsession as yet another thing They don’t tell you before you have kids.
Click below to get the scoop -
I’m so glad it’s not just me. Let’s just count this year of sleep obsession as yet another thing They don’t tell you before you have kids.
Click below to get the scoop -
The Sleep Drug
It seems we’re in the middle of Sleep Issues week here at 1M2A, since
today’s another sleep-related entry. But there’s so dang much to say on
it! So if your baby has no sleep issues, started sleeping through the
night at three months and hasn’t looked back, and you are bored by the
topic, check back in a couple days. And don’t ever tell any other mommy
about your child, because she’ll beat you with a stick.
For
the past few days, I’ve been struggling to put Madeleine’s sleep history
into perspective (see previous blogs); finding patterns or reasons in her
wakefulness and fitful sleeping somehow makes it easier to bear the
seeming unpredictability of it all.
And makes it easier to not
resent her for robbing me of my precious sleep.
In Passing . . .
As I was crossing (against the light, I admit) 72nd Street at Broadway, a
mother came towards me with her daughter, maybe 5 years old. As they
passed me, I heard -
"Mommy, why are we walking when the sign says,
'Don't walk'?"
"That's an excellent question and I'm very
proud of you for noticing that. Now hurry up, we're late."
The Mother of All Sleep Blogs
At long last, I am able to step back and reflect upon the past year and
its sleep patterns – or lack thereof. It has been brutal, and as much as I
grew to hate all those well-meaning friends who joked during my pregnancy
- “Sleep now while you can!” - I find myself wistfully longing for a world
where I could have stored up all those pregnancy naps I took and withdrawn
a few hours here and there over the past twelve months.
On the
whole, as I’ve said before, Madeleine’s been a great sleeper and I know
I’ve been really fortunate. And I’m not writing this sleep diary out
because I think you guys are fascinated by every intimate detail of
Maddie’s life – though I am sure you are. I’m speaking up about this past
year’s ups and downs because when I was in the midst of a bad patch and a
girlfriend would tell me the same thing happened to her when her kid was
that age, I’d feel a bit less alone, comforted in some small measure that
this was in a weird way normal and it would end. Eventually.
So
here’s where Madeleine’s sleep habits fell over the last twelve months.
Keep in mind that 1) every child is different; and 2) I like to sleep late
so I’ve done everything in my power to encourage that habit in Maddie.
Mommy Separation (Or Lack Thereof) Poll
This week’s poll is up and running, and the question is –
How
old was your baby the first time you spent the night apart from him or her?
Was
it mere weeks after birth – maybe a business trip or family emergency? Did
you take a girls’ weekend away when your child was weaned and walking?
Celebrate pre-school’s start with a second honeymoon? Or are you still not
ready to let kiddo out of your sight?
The poll’s on the right, just
below the topic buttons, and remember you don’t need to be a registered
user to vote – simply click to have your voice heard!
To Train Or Not To Train, That Is The Question
The results of last week's poll are in, and we seem to be all over the map on the big Sleep Issue.
The majority of voters said they sleep-trained, but didn't stick to it strictly. Several people weighed in as co-sleepers with no plans for changing that, while a couple of die-hards were by-the-book sleep-trainers.
I'm not surprised that this has been the most scattered poll yet. Few topics can ignite a parent like the whole sleep-training thing: the only subject guaranteed to be even more inflammatory in some circles is breastfeeding.
Why does this issue seem to be such a hot button in parenting? A couple of obvious answers spring to my mind -
1. Your entire first year of parenting revolves around sleep, and the fact that no one in your house is getting any. Several months of little sleep is enough to make anyone cranky and short-tempered. Let alone a woman with hormonal soup running through her veins.
2. You're not just talking about how to deal with your child's sleep habits. You're talking about how to deal with your child's anguished crying at night, and that ain't easy.
The majority of voters said they sleep-trained, but didn't stick to it strictly. Several people weighed in as co-sleepers with no plans for changing that, while a couple of die-hards were by-the-book sleep-trainers.
I'm not surprised that this has been the most scattered poll yet. Few topics can ignite a parent like the whole sleep-training thing: the only subject guaranteed to be even more inflammatory in some circles is breastfeeding.
Why does this issue seem to be such a hot button in parenting? A couple of obvious answers spring to my mind -
1. Your entire first year of parenting revolves around sleep, and the fact that no one in your house is getting any. Several months of little sleep is enough to make anyone cranky and short-tempered. Let alone a woman with hormonal soup running through her veins.
2. You're not just talking about how to deal with your child's sleep habits. You're talking about how to deal with your child's anguished crying at night, and that ain't easy.
Girl Botanist
My daughter’s becoming quite the nature lover. She’s always enjoyed heading outside – no temperature too cold for her – and we’ve been taking daily morning walks since she was maybe four weeks old. As the weather’s warmed up we’ve frequently added a second walk for the day, and eat lunch out in our back garden a few times a week. She can’t get enough of the outdoors, and is turning her considerable attention to the flora and fauna of the area.
Madeleine can identify several words by sound, even if she can’t say them. “Tree” is one of the first she learned: she loves to lie on the couch and look up at the tree outside our big picture window. She’ll point at it over and over, asking what it is. Now if I say, “tree”, she’ll point out the window to her favorite sycamore. Unless, that is, we’re reading a book, in which case she’ll point to whatever tree is on the page.
During breakfast or lunch she’ll gaze longingly out the window and occasionally point imperiously out the window – “Gah!”. When she gets strapped into her stroller she kicks and screams until it begins to move out, at which point she settles serenely and anticipatorily in for the ride.
We cruise up and down the streets checking out all the neighbors’ front flower gardens. We chat about what’s in season – azaleas – and what’s soon to come into season – roses. We make note of which streets have the best (stroller) eye-level views, what lanes have buds about to open. When the cherry blossoms were in full swing we’d stop under a huge tree and gaze in respectful silence, and the dogwood a block away from us still has a few simple but lovely blooms on it. And whenever possible, of course, we stop so Maddie can smell the flowers.
A New Twist
Madeleine’s been sleeping much better at night recently. I’ve been promising the mother of all sleep blogs and it’s coming; now that I’ve gotten some distance (and sleep) from the past couple of months I can find patterns and sort it all out and get it written.
Soon.
But first, I’ve got a new spin on the sleep problem that just cropped up two nights ago, and I’m stumped. So been-there-done-that moms, I’d appreciate it if you’d speak up if you’ve got any ideas.
Breaking New (Play) Ground
Maddie and I have ventured into new territory – the neighborhood playground.
We’ve had several days over the past week or so with incredibly heavy rain, and one morning after a particularly heavy overnight storm I decided it was the perfect time to take a crack at the swing set.
I should point out that Madeleine’s mere weeks away from her first birthday, and we’ve never gone to the playground. We daily walk past the park and see mommies and daddies clustered around the swings and slides, chatting away, with babies younger than Maddie. But showing up at the playground the first time is sort of like jumping into a double-dutch jumprope game; you kind of sway with it for a bit, looking for an opening and hoping your feet don’t get tangled up.
Baby Proofing Products Review
Now that we’ve got a few months under our belts as a baby-proof (ish) house, I feel ready to pass on to you what items have worked and what haven’t. Keep in mind that she’s cruising – walking while holding on to furniture – but not solo walking, which means that we’ll need to do another round of tightening up, I’m sure, as she becomes more self-sufficient (read: devious and able to get into things on her own).
First, baby gates. We got the Safeway Walk-Through Gate for our top-of-stairs position.
Confession time: we have not yet installed it.
First, baby gates. We got the Safeway Walk-Through Gate for our top-of-stairs position.
Confession time: we have not yet installed it.
Sleep Training Poll
This week’s poll is out, and I’ve got a personal interest in the results.
What
are your opinions on Baby’s sleep habits for the first year? Are you a
Ferberizing kinda gal? Do you co-sleep? Nurse on demand? Speak up, and
let your voice count!
Remember, you don’t need to be a registered
user to participate; just click and vote!
And as always, if you’ve
got an idea for a poll, if you’d like to see where other mommies stand on
a particular issue, drop me a line.
Music You Won't Hate
The votes are in, and apparently we’re a hip group of mommies who know our
own minds. Last week’s poll focused on your baby’s music, and those who
voted all said Baby gets to listen to whatever you want to have on the
IPOD! No tuning in to the purple dinosaur’s greatest hits, apparently.
I
totally understand where you’re coming from; our generation of parent
seems to be unwilling to give up intricate music and sophisticated lyrics
for Pumpkin, and a whole genre of music affectionately known as Tot Rock
has sprung up in the past few years to meet this need.
Earlier this
year I wrote a blog lamenting the crappy music choices available to babes
these days and said we’d mostly stayed with adult music she seemed to
enjoy bouncing to, with a few notable exceptions (see previous
entry).
But we’ve had friends with great music taste give
us CDs of kids’ music that’s bearable (high praise indeed, I know), and
Madeleine does indeed seem to enjoy songs that are geared specifically
towards the munchkins’ mosh pit, so we’ve girded up our musically snobby
loins and ventured into the multi-billion dollar world of toddler music.
The
verdict? They don’t all suck.
