1 Mother 2 Another

During the school year, I get up early to
work out – not because I’m a morning person, but
because if I don’t do it before the day gets going then I
don’t do it at all. And if I don’t work out regularly,
all my old dance injuries fall apart and I can barely hobble
around. So I get up a few times a week at 5:30 a.m. to work out and
shower before getting the girls up for school.


But it’s summer now and we’re not on a tight schedule,
so I’ve been setting my alarm for 7:30 instead; this lets me
sleep in and the girls are usually still asleep by the time I
finish my workout video and head for the shower.


Usually.

Sometimes, though, one or both of them
wake up and stumble downstairs while I’m sweating to Jillian
Michaels, and proceed to park their butts on the couch and enjoy
the show.


I’m a retired dancer, so I’m used to having people
watch me move, but it’s more than a little disconcerting to
have my children stare passively at me while I grunt through
push-ups, leg lifts, and jogging in place. Having my kids watch
silently is not nearly so painful, though, as having to endure
their commentary while I work out.


Cora, in particular, feels it’s her duty to keep an eye on my
form, make sure I’m not cheating, and in general keep me in
line. She’ll watch the screen, judge the
“advanced” and “beginner” versions being
demonstrated, and then watch me to make sure I’ve got it down
right. Here are some of her honest-to-goodness comments from this
past week:


“Mommy, both girls are swinging their arms while they pretend
to jump rope. You need to swing your arms more.”


“Mommy, Bea (advanced girl, who Cora knows by name
apparently) is moving her feet a lot faster. You need to go
faster.”


“Mommy, Jillian says that if you need to you can leave your
legs on the ground. It looks like you should leave your legs on the
ground.”


“Mommy, get lower in your squats. See how Bea does it? You do
it that way now.”


It’s not just me, right? Those are truly obnoxious, yes?


Having my girls watch me work out is mildly-to-moderately
embarrassing, but I persevere. I don’t want them to think
it’s something I only do in private: I want them to see
exercise is important to stay healthy. At the same time, they never
hear me talk about exercising to look good: I always talk about it
in a framework of staying strong, keeping my heart healthy, and
taking care of old injuries. I am passionate about my girls growing
up happy about the way they look and never want them to see
exercise as something they do to chase some impossible physical
ideal.


Which is why I absolutely hated having to answer this question
Maddie asked just yesterday:


“Mommy, you know how the girls in the videos have muscles on
their bodies? Why don’t you have muscles like that?”


Um, because those girls are twenty years old and work out six hours
a day? Because they exist on protein shakes and cabbage? And by the
way, Missy, I’d like you to look this good at this age?


But I said none of those things. I simply took a breath, and said,
“Well, baby, everyone’s body looks different. And the
more you exercise a muscle, the bigger it gets, so those girls
probably exercise those muscles more than I exercise mine. I do my
exercises to stay healthy and don’t need muscles that strong,
so mine probably won’t get that big. Those girls work hard to
get such strong muscles, and they probably do it for a reason, like
their job needs big muscles.”


And a flat six-pack. But I don’t add that part.


Maddie accepted my explanation and moved on, refraining from more
comments about how my body looks.


Which is why she’s still alive today.