1 Mother 2 Another

Maddie’s going through a tough time
right now – a sort of emotional growing pain, if you will.
And it’s been hard for me to stand back and let it happen,
when my instinct is to rush in and fix things. I know, though, that
this is something she has to work through on her own – some
lessons, I know well, can only be learned the hard way.

Maddie is moody. She cries and melts down.
She doesn’t handle disappointment well. And over a month ago
we realized there was something bigger going on, and we needed to
stop treating each episode on a case-by-case basis and try to see
the bigger picture. School has been incredibly hard to assimilate
into her life, no doubt about it. My daughter the introvert gets
out exhausted, and by Friday she’s a puddle. And as Maddie
has struggled to bend to all her new rules, she fights against all
the limitations and restrictions put on her. So she’s
physically and mentally wiped out, but still craving time with her
friends.


Which often doesn’t go well. Maddie’s friends,
unfortunately, bear the brunt of Maddie’s fatigue, and her
playdate manners have taken a distinct nosedive. I’ve tried
to talk through situations with Maddie, put new routines in place
to help give her space and breathing room, but there’s only
so much I can do. I can’t follow her around on the
playground, cautioning her to stop and think and be kind to her
friends; nor can I trail her friends with a constant patter of,
“Please don’t take it personally – what Maddie
REALLY meant by that was just . . .”


So Maddie’s friends are bewildered, which is understandable
since they’re going through all the same new stuff Maddie is.
And I see her changing the shape of her friendships and my heart
hurts for her. I know she’s starting to lay down permanent
patterns for how she handles friends, how she interacts with
people. And I don’t want those patterns to be
self-destructive or passive-aggressive. But there’s only so
many times I can step in, or Monday-morning quarterback with her.


Stepping back right now seems to be my only option. That, and
holding her when she cries.