1 Mother 2 Another

The girls have had their Santa requests
down for some time now, and as I mentioned in an earlier blog
they’re not the easiest – Cora wants a real live tree,
at least partly red, and Maddie wants a specific ballet barre that
is apparently one of the hot tickets this year. I finally tracked
it down on Craig’s List and have it hidden in a bedroom,
while Cora’s real live Christmas tree is tucked around the
corner of our side yard, waiting to be decorated with the red bows
and battery-powered (!) red lights I found. I thought we had all
this wrapped up.


I thought wrong.

Last week we went to a mall and wandered
past a jewelry store. Maddie mentioned again that she’d like
some “real jewelry” – not the dress-up stuff
– and I said again that we’d consider getting her a
necklace for her fifth birthday in June. I reminded her that
she’d put a jewelry box “that plays music and spins
around” on her Christmas list, and she said, panicked,
“No, mommy, I didn’t just want a jewelry box – I
want a jewelry box with real jewelry in it!”


Ok, I thought, we might go for a silver bracelet, so I suggested we
go through the jewelry store – my favorite James Avery
– “JUST TO LOOK”. We found the section of
sterling jewelry for girls, and saw a lovely necklace and bracelet
set with little flowers on them. Maddie agreed they were perfect,
and I said she could put the bracelet on her Christmas list.


Poor Maddie freaked out. Apparently she thought we were going in to
buy jewelry that day, and first worried that the jewelry would be
sold before Santa could get there. Then we left and began a tense
discussion about whether or not she would get the necklace AND
bracelet. I tried to hold fast to my “not until you’re
five” line with the necklace, and say she could have only one
piece of jewelry at a time.


Maddie tried hard to stay calm and explain why everything was so
important to her, and she did such a good job that she is getting a
necklace for Christmas. She OFFERED to take everything else off her
Christmas list, including the ballet barre, so it wouldn’t be
too big a burden on Santa. She understands that the necklace is not
something to wear every day, and is content with the knowledge that
there won’t be a huge heap of toys under the tree for her.
Most of all, she articulated very well how a necklace seems like a
big-girl item, and she’s already got a charm bracelet and
would feel like a baby if she received another bracelet.


I know, reading back over all this, that it sounds like she snowed
me. But truly, my girl did a great job explaining without tantrums,
and making it clear how important this is to her. Gifting is one of
her biggest love languages, and while we haven’t taken all
the toys back we’ve cut several items off her list so that
she’ll see the consequences of her choice. Brian and I both
think we’ve done the right thing and hope time will bear that
out.


So on Christmas morning, Maddie will find a musical jewelry box and
a bracelet from Santa in her stocking. There’ll be a couple
other things, of course, that I’ve picked up through the year
for her. And thanks to Craig’s List’s non-refundable
policy, Maddie is now getting a ballet barre from Mommy and Daddy.


I need to stay away from malls the rest of the week – Santa
can’t take any more last-minute changes.