1 Mother 2 Another

As most of you know, I’m a
reasonably crunchy person : I make my own yogurt and cleaning
supplies, and I wash my face with honey. (Yes, just honey. You
should try it sometime – you’ll never go back.) Believe
it or not, there are other people out there even crunchier than
myself, and I read their blogs somewhat regularly to find ideas and
encouragement.


Last December, I was reading a few of my favorites looking for new
and usual (and cheap!) ideas for homemade gifts, and I stumbled
uponhref="http://www.crunchybetty.com/diy-picture-tiles-you-will-never-buy-a-photo-frame-again">
this article at href="http://www.crunchybetty.com">Crunchy Betty
(doesn’t the name say it all?) on how to make lovely pictures
on tiles – think ditch the frame and have a cool piece of
photo art to hang on your wall. I loved the idea but couldn’t
think of anyone appropriate for the gift, so I bookmarked it to
come back to later.


Yesterday, I came back and I am LOVING the results.

St. Augustine once said, “Hope has
two beautiful daughters. Their names are anger and courage; anger
at the way things are, and courage to see that they do not remain
the way they are.”


I think sometimes that he must be describing my own daughters.

The other night it was pretty cold and
Cora wanted to wear footie pajamas to bed. We went through her
pajama drawer only to discover that every pair of footie pajamas -
size four for a four-year-old - was too small. Doubtful, I opened
the size five tub and drew out a pair of fleece footies for her.


They fit.


There she stood in her size five pajamas, my baby, looking
impossibly big and impossibly babyish at the same time.


How does this always happen when my back is turned?

I blogged yesterday about my pursuit of
finding moments of grace – of gratefulness – in each
day. Of appreciating my life more, and teaching my girls to do the
same. As I said yesterday, it’s helped me be a more patient,
more compassionate parent.


But I’m not saying I’m perfect.


One of the reasons I started this website six years ago was because
having a baby is REALLY FREAKIN’ HARD, and I wanted to make
sure other parents didn’t feel alone in this big thing.
I’d hear mom s gush about how it was “love at first
sight” and “I’ve never wished I didn’t have
kids” and I’d think Really? Because I have wished that.
Mostly when I’m just trying to find thirty seconds to poop in
peace.

I spent the past few months reading href="http://www.amazon.com/One-Thousand-Gifts-Fully-Right/dp/0310321913/ref=sr_1_3?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1326074261&sr=1-3"
target="_blank">One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp
– a dare to live life fully right where you are. It’s
been a game-changer for me as a parent and as a person. I’ve
been purposefully trying to slow down and really see
God’s goodness every day, to drink in my kids and wallow in
their awesomeness. At some point in the book Ann says, “Every
breath is a battle between gratitude and grudgery,” and I
totally know where she’s coming from.


As I use this book to change how I parent, I’ve been trying
to teach the idea to Maddie and Cora as well. The truth is,
there’s only room in our hearts for one emotion at a time,
and it could be jealousy or anger or annoyance – or
gratitude, or happiness, or joy. When the girls are driving me
RIGHT UP TO THE EDGE of my sanity, I stop and take a breath and
find something that I’m truly grateful for at that
moment – not the whole “I’m glad I’m
healthy” or “I’m grateful we have a roof over our
heads” tossed off in a dismissive way, but something I can
truly be emotionally grateful for right then. Sometimes I’m
grateful I have another room to go to while I cool off; sometimes
I’m grateful my daughters have no trouble expressing
themselves – LOUDLY. But I find something and latch on, and
sooner or later find myself calm – and grateful to have the
chance to help my girls learn how to deal with life.

The holidays are finally behind us, but
their effects are still reverberating throughout our family.


And our family’s digestive tract.


Maddie’s always had difficulty pooping – see, oh, about
a thousand of my blogs – and I warned her that eating a lot
of sugar over the holidays would have adverse affects on her
bowels. But she’s in charge of her own eating these days, and
she’s six, so I’m reasonably certain the
vegetable-to-candy ratio was reversed for the past couple of weeks.


And now Maddie’s paying the price.


My poor girl struggled to poop for three solid (no pun intended)
days, each day getting a progressively more painful stomach ache.
She’s never been a poop-a-day girl, but her last elimination
was last Thursday or Friday.


Yeah, ouch.

There are very few beings bossier than a
young girl. Which is why it may have been a mistake to tell some
new year’s resolutions to Maddie.


Every year we talk as a family about new year’s resolutions,
discussing what they are – something you’d like to
change about yourself or the world – and ways to implement
them. Last year, I told the girls I was going to work on being more
patient with them, and when I asked Maddie how she thought
I’d done with that she said thoughtfully, “Well,
you’ve gotten a bit better about it. But perhaps you should
choose that one again this year.”

We have had a fantastic holiday vacation
and truly excellent Christmas. We stayed put the entire two weeks,
save for a two-day trip to a hotel about 20 miles away – yes,
our children begged for an overnight in a hotel for their big
Christmas present this year. We were happy to oblige.


And speaking of Christmas presents, I’m going to brag here
and say that there was not a single Disney Princess nor even, I say
truthfully, any type of licensed character under our tree this
year. We had a pretty toy-free Christmas, and I could not be
happier.

Yep, that's me you hear being dragged
kicking and screaming back into our family routine.


Let me ask you something - is homeschooling just so you don't have
to set your alarm in the morning and pack a lunch every day really
such a bad reason to do it?


Seriously grumpy here. Seriously.


And the girls aren't even awake yet.

Maddie’s deep into her first
Nutcracker experience, and all I can say is – help. Is it
over yet?


I help out backstage in the holding room for Maddie and about
twenty (20!) other girls her age. Try controlling two dozen
six-year-olds in white (white!) dresses and red (red!) lipstick.
They’re bored, they don’t want to pee when you tell
them to, they only want to eat a snack after they put on their
costumes – they’re natural divas.

School finished up on Friday, and we've
got two blissful weeks of just family ahead of us. No big trips
planned, no house full of guests, just local family and some great
cocooning time.


Of course, we have a few Nutcrackers still to get through with
Maddie, but that's it, I promise.


Oh, and Maddie's pinkeye came back Saturday night.


No one said it would be completely clear sailing the next two weeks
. . .

Yep, I get that question every day –
and every day it seems my answer’s not good enough. And I
have to admit, they have a point.


We’ve been working our hineys off here, making gifts and
getting them boxed up and sent out to friends and family. Tuesday
Cora and I spent most of the morning putting all the baked goods
we’ve been working on into tubs to be shipped off across the
globe. We were a veritable machine of Dessert Boxes, me cutting the
brownie pans up and Cora doing all the plating. And to her credit,
she never once licked her fingers. Moving from treat to treat to
treat, making sure each tub had an equal sampling of all the
goodies we’d made, Cora worked fast and efficiently and was
rightfully proud when we were finished and saw all the stuffed
plastic tubs lined up.


Yesterday I got ten – TEN! – boxes mailed off to
friends and family, full of gifts and goodies. Shopping is mostly
done, homemade gifts for friends are just about finished, the house
is decorated – so what’s the hold-up?


I know we’ve been working feverishly and I know the days will
rush past between now and December 25, but honestly I’m glad
we’ve gotten so much accomplished; that just means
we’ve got all of next week to do fun holiday stuff, like see
Santa and ice skate and hit the half-price bookstore and order the
Christmas ham and wrap presents and –


Wait, I think we need a little more time.

As Maddie and I walked home from school
the other day, we chatted about what she’d done during school
time. I knew it was library day for her, so I asked what books she
checked out for the week. “I checked out three true books
about fish,” she replied.


What?


“That’s an interesting topic,” I said cautiously.
“What made you want to check out three different books about
fish?”


Maddie skipped along. “Because I plan on reading up on lots
of interesting facts about fish, and then using them to convince
you to let me have a fish for a pet.”


Wow. Don’t know whether to be proud or scared of her
long-term scheming.


“Well, a girl can always try, and I’ll always listen to
a well-reasoned argument,” I said equably. “But what
makes you want a fish so much suddenly?”


“Because I think they’re cool to watch and,” she
continued nonchalantly, “Elise has fish and her kittens are
always trying to eat them and I think it would be funny to watch my
cat try to get the fish out of the fishbowl.”


Ah. At least she’s honest.

Both girls are looking forward to
Christmas with unbridled glee. I always love watching them as the
holidays approach, and each year seems to get better for me; the
older they are, the more they seem to “get” Christmas.
This year, they’re not just excited about receiving gifts,
but about giving them as well.


Maddie, especially, has become aware of gift-giving in the family.
She made her gift for Cora – a real treasure box filled with
real plastic gems – several weeks ago, but still
couldn’t resist when she was out working a craft fair
recently and found a beautiful doll made from recycled neckties. So
she had to buy that, too. Then the girls and I were out recently
and they discovered the perfect gift for Daddy, which I won’t
print here because he dutifully – I mean, eagerly –
reads this blog daily. But it was their idea and they are quite
excited.

We’ve hit the ground running for the
holiday season, and we’re zigging and zagging from event to
event. Completely in a fun way: I’ve learned to turn down
stuff we’re not going to enjoy, and to try to build some
moments of calm into our entertainment schedule. But we’ve
got a lot going on fun-wise, and I fear the meltdown consequences.


Yesterday a friend hosted a cookie exchange right after school. All
of Cora and Maddie’s best friends got together to gorge on
cookies and candy canes, put together a few crafts, and gleefully
tear up my friend’s house in a sugar-induced frenzy. The
girls were excited (duh) and couldn’t wait to dig in –
er, go to the party.

Cora’s classroom has daily helpers,
chosen by table seating: red table “helps” on Mondays,
green table on Wednesdays, and so on. There’s about five
“helper” jobs for each day, and though the whole table
will get a job, they won’t all get the job they want.


High on Cora’s list is the job of “calendar
helper”. This job involves standing in front of the class and
assisting the teacher with the felt board calendar, naming the day
of the week and month, and so on. Cora had the job once this year
and has spent the past several months since then yearning to be
assigned the spot again. She dresses a bit nicer on Wednesdays
“just in case” and chats excitedly the whole way to
school: “Maybe today’s the day I’ll be calendar
helper again!”


Completely coincidentally, Cora loves being in front of an
audience.

Is there anything sweeter than your
four-year-old in her preschool Christmas concert, angelically
singing "Silent Night" on a cozy Monday night?


Is there anything worse than your four-year-old an hour later, two
hours past her bedtime and hopped up on cake and food dye,
helplessly spiraling out of control and taking you down with her?


It was the best of times, it was the worst of times . . .

Recently an initiative was introduced to
the California State’s Attorney General’s office: the
California Right To Know Genetically Engineered Food Act. This
initiative, which will most likely be sent to voters in 2012, would
require all genetically modified food to be clearly labeled so
consumers can make informed choices.


Numerous other laws requiring better food labels have been
introduced to legislatures around the country and in D.C.;
unfortunately, big agriculture and chemical companies have great
lobbies and have gotten each bill shot down. The California
measure’s the first one that will be taken directly to
voters, and polls right now show that 93% of Americans believe
genetically-modified foods, or GMOs, should be labeled.


What’s the big deal, though? So they’ve cross-bred two
tomatoes to get a superior, juicier, redder tomato? Where’s
the cause for alarm, huh? That’s not what GMOs are, though. A
genetically-modified vegetable or animal – and yes, cloned
animals have been permitted in our food supply (unlabeled, of
course) by the FDA since early 2008 – is something that has
been altered at its molecular level: we’re talking
introducing foreign DNA from another substance, not another strain
of the same plant. So instead of cross-breeding a tomato with
another tomato, we’re talking about a tomato cross-bred with
a scorpion (true story, by the way). THAT kind of modification.

Maddie stayed home one more day yesterday;
though her eye looked significantly better in the morning, it was a
bit runny and I don’t want to be the mom who passes it on to
the rest of first grade. So Maddie had one more day of following me
around on errands, with a bit of fun thrown in.


I toned down yesterday’s fun day, and sure enough by
mid-afternoon Maddie was saying how much she missed her school
friends and was ready to go back. We still did some fun things,
though, and I still had a great time with my eldest to myself.