1 Mother 2 Another

OK, so I’ve got a Bad Mommy
confession to make.


Actually, not a Bad Mommy confession as much as a Bad Owner
confession.


You know how my daughter simply LOVES Kitty? Can’t get enough
of her? And Kitty, while in some way flattered, can only take
Maddie in small doses?


I’ve been feeling rundown and tired with seasonal allergies,
and Maddie with her new “Up!” command was really
wearing me down. I couldn’t get the dishwasher emptied, lunch
cleaned up, dinner started, anything. She was in a real
“Mommy! Attention!” mode.


I needed a break, ok? Anywhere I could get it.

With several different girlfriends in
various stages of pregnancy, the topic of morning sickness seems to
be never far from the table. So last week’s poll was an
attempt to glean a bit of wisdom from you gals, and give my
mommies-to-be the comforting news that they aren’t alone.


If there’s one thing the poll showed, it’s that every
pregnancy is different. Out of six possible answers, the votes were
split completely evenly between five of them. Of course there were
those people who didn’t get morning sickness at all; we try
not to be envious and move on.


But as for the rest, it’s whatever works, baby. Some said
managing their diet and getting enough exercise kept the morning
sickness under control. Other moms just gritted their teeth and
counted down the puking days until 14 weeks and they were out of
the first trimester. There were moms who said they ate whatever
they could possibly keep down, healthy or balanced or not, while
still others said they ate as little as possible to avoid throwing
up more.

This week’s poll is up and running,
and talk about chatty cathys!


What was your baby’s first word? Mama? Dada? Don’t
remember? I want to know!


As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side of my
home page underneath the different category buttons. You
don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and
submit to have your voice heard!

href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=417&Itemid=46">
Last week I talked about the kind of moms and dads you
can expect to run into on the playground, and how to deal with
them.


This week, I thought I’d give you a few practical guidelines
for getting around the blacktop.


For you see, there are a few rules that most every parent
acknowledges – even unconsciously – to keep playground
time safe and fair. There are, of course, those parents who choose
to ignore those rules, but newcomers often simply don’t know
better until they’ve been there a while and gotten the lay of
the land. So here’s a brief rundown –

This past weekend we drove to visit my new
nephew – 5 weeks old and counting – and of course see
my brother and his wife as well. It’s a six-hour drive that
we haven’t done since Maddie was 8 ½ months, and I
have to confess that I was nervous about the twelve hours in a car
over two days.


Silly me.


As if we could make it in six hours now that Maddie’s
mobile.

I'm back from a three-day weekend visiting my new nephew (more
on that later), and finally have a chance to check in on last
week's poll and how you deal with the Diaper Bag Dilemma.


Almost half of you have only one bag, which also acts as your
purse. A few confessed to being a diaper bag addict , the new
accessory obsession for mommies, while a couple of you said you've
got a few bags that you choose from depending on how long you''ll
be gone. And one person admitted to carrying a diaper bag and
separate purse, and feeling like a pack mule.

I’m back from a three-day weekend visiting my new nephew (more on that
later), and finally have a chance to check in on last week’s poll – how
you deal with the Diaper Bag Dilemma.

Almost half of you have
only one bag, which also acts as your purse. A few confessed to being a
diaper bag addict – the new accessory obsession for mommies– while a
couple of you said you’ve got a few bags that you choose from depending
on how long you’ll be gone. And one person admitted to carrying a
diaper bag and separate purse, and feeling like a pack mule.

This week’s poll is up and running, and sure to bring back not-so-fond
memories.

I’m wondering how you handled morning sickness while
you were pregnant. Do you try any old wives’ remedy you could get your
hands on? Keep your head down and count the days until your second
trimester? Were you able to manage it with diet and exercise? Did you
give in to your cravings? Did you not have morning sickness? I want to
know!

As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side
of my home page underneath the different category buttons. You don’t
need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have
your voice heard!

 Maddie and I have been hitting the playground regularly since late spring and I can honestly say it’s an amazingly complex place to hang out. Having become, if not a pro, at least a seasoned veteran of the Urban Jungle Gym, I thought I’d pass on what I’ve learned; I’ve also culled tips and comments from my mommy focus group, and hopefully all this will make your initial forays into the playground a little easier to handle.

So yesterday afternoon a small plane crashed into an apartment building here in New York. We all immediately assumed terrorists, of course, and everyone had flashbacks to where they were and how they felt on September 11. As of this writing it was determined to be non-terrorist – simply a tragic accident involving a novice pilot and his instructor.

For a couple hours, though, it was up in the air, and my instinctive reaction was, “This is just the beginning.” Attacking a relatively small (50 story) apartment building didn’t fit the terrorist MO, so I was almost assuming a larger attack was imminent, probably around rush hour. Since I was home and Brian works from home, we were safe, but he was due to head into the city during rush hour to lead a worship service.

Without even asking me, Brian called and said he wouldn’t make it. Was he afraid to travel? No. He simply knew I’d worry the whole time. After 9/11, which he was in the middle of, I was nervous any time he was out of my sight for several weeks. And that was before we became parents. 

In Maddie’s newfound fascination with all things grown-up, her biggest obsession is the telephone.

She’s long enjoyed the cell-phone as an accessory, packing an old one in her “purse” and periodically taking it out, tucking it between her ear and shoulder, and walking around shouting. But for the past month or two she’s realized that when Mommy and Daddy do that, there’s a Real Live Voice talking back to them, and now nothing less will do.

Sometimes Maddie simply wants to expound on a subject and doesn’t really need feedback, and in those instances she’ll grab whatever’s handy – her plastic phone, Elmo, whatever – pretend it’s a phone, and begin lecturing. More often than not, though, she’s looking for a two-way conversation and there’d better be someone around willing to deliver.

We’re going through a point of astonishing physical development with Maddie, in more ways than one.

First off, her body has sprung up, seemingly overnight. Our last doctor’s visit showed that while her weight stayed in the 15th percentile, her height had jumped to the 75th! She’s walking around in either bell-bottom pants that fit around the waist, or pants that are long enough but show half her diaper as they swim around her middle. Suddenly she’s reaching the tops of counters with her hands, easily pulling off any dish or food in her way.

But even more than her physical development, her motor skills are suddenly in fast-forward. 

This week’s poll is up and running, and I’m snooping into your bags.

I’m interested in how you solve the Diaper Bag Dilemma: do you have one bag, that also acts as your purse? Do you have a couple different diaper bags of different sizes, depending on how long you’ll be gone from the house? Do you have an array of diaper bags simply to change out as your accessory? Do you simply stuff an extra diaper and Ziploc of wipes into your purse and call it a day? I want to know!

As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side of my home page underneath the different category buttons. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

Last week’s poll results are in, and it’s an animated world, after all.

I asked who your child’s favorite character is, and we had a four-way tie between Dora the Explorer, Winnie the Pooh, Elmo, and “other”. As for our household, we fall squarely into the “Elmo” category.

But not without a fight. 

Brian and I have been talking recently about siblings for Madeleine, and what sort of “spacing” between them we’d ideally like to see. We’re both going through a renewed love affair with Maddie right now; just thinking about her makes either one of us break into a goofy grin. She’s such a great kid, and I mentioned to Brian that one of the things holding me back is my concern for Maddie.

Before you stop reading this and type up an email listing the “dangers” of having an only child, let me say that we’re not planning on making Maddie an only child. I know all the benefits and we’re eager to see what kind of big sister she’ll be. But let me tell you something: any parent of a single child who says they don’t have any fears about loving subsequent children less than their firstborn is totally lying. 

Remember how Madeleine was throwing up this past weekend?

Tuesday she was a bit clingy, a bit needy, with a very low fever. I thought it was teething, gave her Motrin at bedtime, and dismissed it. Wednesday morning she refused breakfast, which I again dismissed as no big deal because I’d gotten her up a bit early for a well-baby doctor’s visit.

Yeah, you can see this coming, can’t you.

In case you didn’t know, my nephew Dean was born recently! I’ve been waiting to say something until I had some photos to go with it.

And on that subject – honestly, John, sleep deprivation is no excuse. Should have had a link to Snapfish or something by now. But I’ll let it slide this time.

So here’s a picture of the cutie; the cammo is a nod to his maternal uncle, currently stationed in Iraq. I’m impressed that at even just a couple weeks old, he already has more hair than my daughter. As for Maddie, she’s very eager to teach Dean some tricks she’s learned along the way – how to throw a tantrum, how to pretend not to understand what “no” means, and so on. 

Warning: this blog is not for the faint of stomach. But then, neither is much of parenthood.

This past weekend, we went away for a lovely church retreat. Bucolic hillsides, changing trees painted with oranges and scarlets, apple picking: all the earmarks of a lovely and peaceful family weekend.

And to be fair, the first day was great. Madeleine saw for the first time a wide expanse of green we call “grass” (remember – city kid) and, after her initial fear, took to it like cows to, well, grass. She’d climb up a gentle hill slope; run down it shrieking and screaming with glee while holding Daddy’s hands, feet barely touching the ground; rest a few minutes at the bottom, panting; then turn and trudge determinedly back up the hill. We walked near a small stream, we chalked outside with other kids, we did it all.

And then the nighttime came. 

This week’s poll is up and running, and is quite a popularity contest.

Who
or what is your child’s favorite cartoon character? Elmo? Dora? Bob the
Builder? I want to know!

As usual, the poll will be up all week
on my home page, on the right hand side below all the navigation
buttons. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click
and submit to have your voice heard! 

Last week I polled you all on sign language: do you use it? How often?
If not, why not?

Interestingly enough, 80% of respondents
answered unanimously – you’ve taught a few key signs, but don’t knock
yourself out to teach baby a whole new language. The other 20% who
answered said they don’t use sign language on purpose, fearing it will
slow down speech development.

Brian and I spoke about teaching
Madeleine sign language before she was born. It seemed like an ideal
answer to alleviating a child’s frustration at her inability to
communicate effectively. As we asked around, we met people who swore by
it, and people who mentioned their concern that learning to sign would
delay speech; after all, why struggle to talk when you can already make
your needs known? 

There’s nothing like a toddler in your life to remind you that there’s more than one way to view a situation.

Maddie and I were walking home from the park recently when a car alarm went off across the street. Now, Maddie’s no stranger to car alarms; this is New York, after all. So I was surprised that she became very agitated as the alarm continued to go off. I encouraged her to keep walking past it, trying to hurry without making it look like I was panicking. I was assuming the alarm was making her nervous, and wanted to keep her calm.

Before I became pregnant, I never really used to notice babies and
children in the world around me. Sure, I’d hear the occasional toddler
meltdown at the grocery store – accompanied by a line of fastidious
faux-compassionate smiles from annoyed non-parents – and I’d notice a
cute baby cooing happily on the subway. But there didn’t seem to be
that many of them.


Once pregnant, though, it’s as if there was some veil lifted from my
eyes – babies everywhere! Burstingly pregnant women walking up the
stairs, tired and cranky infants being pushed in their strollers,
aromatic toddlers with an obviously full diaper; they all seemed to jump
out of the woodwork at me. I guess I had just never really noticed them
before.

In the same way, before I had Maddie I’d see an
unaccompanied adult and assume they were childless. I mean permanently
childless, not simply missing one of their kids. I don’t know; I guess
I assumed circumstances on people because they were my circumstances.
Make sense?

Now that I’m a parent, though, I’m realizing that a
very large percentage of the adult world is made up of people with
children. I know, sounds pretty self-evident, but it was rather
revelatory to me. And nowhere was it so evident – or so appreciated –
as when we were on vacation. 

I can’t believe that summer’s already officially over. (Yes, I know it’s almost October, but I’ve been on vacation. Cut me some slack.) As we went into the season, Maddie was cruising like a pro but not yet walking unassisted. She was weeks away from her first birthday, still shy on the playground, and had never been left with anyone other than a family member.

I remember looking at the summer months stretching out before me and thinking of all I wanted to do with my daughter. I saw her birthday as some sort of milestone that would release us into this whole new world – one where she became comfortable hanging out with other kids, became weaned, and became more confident in herself. I wanted to find a way to move Maddie to the next step – socialization. 

  I already posted today’s regular entry (see below), but I have to jot this mommy tip down while I’m thinking about it. I know, I did a slew of babyproofing entries several months ago when kiddo became mobile. But she’s recently grown, which means she stands taller in her crib, which means she can now turn the light in her room on and off. And on. And off. And on. The only thing that gives it away, as a matter of fact, is her breathy laughter on the baby monitor as she tries to do it quietly and not draw attention to herself.

Or the light cutting in and out under her door.

So after a huge Internet search I finally found a baby lock for light switches. Apparently there’s not a big market for them, since most sites had gadgets to make light switches more accessible to toddlers. I shudder. At any rate, if you’ve got a kiddo who can reach a light switch, or if you want to baby proof a danger area like the switch to the garbage disposal, here’s the tool for you – the Safety First Switch Lock Guard.

We got it, installed it, love it.

Maddie hates it.

Just wanted to pass it on to you . . .

I hate to admit it, but I’m still waking up most mornings and wishing I were back in my luxury resort. I need a few moments to reorient myself, to realize that no, there is no room service bringing us our fresh waffles, and yes, I do have to do the laundry.

But in many ways it’s great to be back. As much as Maddie loved her new experiences and plush surroundings, she’s pretty ecstatic to be back in her controlled environment. Her shout of glee at seeing her bouncy horse when we entered the house for the first time was topped only by the uncontrollable squeals that escaped her when she first laid eyes on her beloved playground.

And as much as I loved having so much taken care of for me on vacation, I’m happy to be back in the saddle, holding the reins of this family. Our vacation was our first foray into The Real World – the one where I can’t control how much light is coming into baby girl’s room, or guarantee that she’ll have fresh steamed veggies for dinner. One of my biggest apprehensions about our trip was that precise lack of control – my inability to dominate most aspects of my daughter’s surroundings. 

This week’s poll is up and running, and is all about speaking without words.

How do you feel about teaching your baby sign language? Does it seem pretentious and pointless to you? Have you read up on a few key signs, but are staying pretty laid back about it? Did you introduce baby to her first sign language DVD at 6 weeks old? I want to know!

As always, the poll will be up all week on my homepage, right-hand side below all the category buttons. You don’t have to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to make your voice heard!

Our most recent poll focused on preschool and the options we’ve got as parents of infants and toddlers. A full fifty percent of you said you’ll be sending your child to preschool around age 3 or 4, mostly for socialization reasons. The rest of you split down the line evenly, with some opting to save money and not start an organized school until kindergarten, some working to get their children into the “right” preschool as the first step towards the “right” college, and one mom even admitting that the sooner her child was in preschool, the sooner she’d finally have some time back for herself. (I feel you, girlfriend!)

Interestingly enough, I posted this poll a few weeks ago, before heading off on vacation, and my girlfriend Abby did a guest post while I was gone about her son Isaiah starting preschool last week. At 3 ½ (I can’t bring myself to think of him as an almost-four-year-old yet), Isaiah’s right in the middle age of kids starting preschool. If you’ve read Abby’s blogs, you know she’s helping launch a new preschool in her area so she’s a big supporter of them. Originally worried about how Isaiah would do at his twice-weekly school, Abby now worries that it doesn’t meet frequently enough to suit him! 

I know it's a long shot that you came across my business card for this
site and decided to check it out, but I figured it's worth a try since
you stole it from my stroller at the playground today.

There are
a couple important things you should know:

First, the cards have
all been canceled, and a credit fraud alert issued to the three main
credit reporting bureaus.

Second, I've filed a police report.

Third,
I'd really like my driver's license back. It's tough to get my girlie
around without it. Feel free to anonymously email me
(jennifer@1mother2another.com) and I'll email back my PO box address.
I'm not interested in chasing you down, I promise; I just want the
license.

Fourth, I forgive you. I hope you truly needed it and
that the $20 in there helped you. I wish you would have felt like you
could have asked me for help.

Jennifer 

For those of you who requested photos of Maddie on vacation, I've got some posted in the entry below, and I've also uploaded several more to my frontpage rotating photo gallery. What comes up is random, so simply click on the picture that appears to see everything in her gallery.

Enjoy! 

 I’ve just dumped all the vacation photos from my digital camera, and can’t believe how much we crammed into twelve short days. Maddie experienced things that some people go their whole lives without ever enjoying, and has a huge list of “firsts” to add to her diary, including:

If the first half of our vacation was about getting Maddie used to the ocean and outdoors, the second half was all about getting Maddie used to living the luxurious life.

We clearly did our job too well. 

There are many things I’ll remember for a long time about our vacation; it was our first one with a child, after all, and we spent a week in the lap of all-expense-paid luxury.  But I think I’ll remember this vacation most fondly as the time Maddie Met The Ocean.

And almost never spoke to it again.

Our first day in our borrowed beach house, we arrived mid-afternoon, settled in, and went out for a celebratory dinner.  Unable to wait until the next day for our first stroll on the sand, Brian and I decided to hit the beach on our way home and watch the sun set.  Maddie was punch-drunk from a day of not being on a plane the whole time, and happily hopped out of the car at our local boardwalk.  Her shoes came off (always a good thing in Maddie Land) and she joyfully ascended the stairs.  Seeing a whole expanse of wooden sidewalk in front of her, she took off running, screaming with abandon, carefully lowered herself down the ocean-side stairs –

And screeched to a halt at the sand’s edge.  Cue the sound of a needle ripped off the soundtrack to Maddie’s life.

So far, we’ve had two travel days; one to start our vacation and another to get from borrowed vacation house to business trip.  Both days involved two  flights and long car drives; flying time totaled somewhere between 5 and 7 hours each day.  We’ve got one more travel day ahead of us and rather than spend another 7 hours of flying and changing planes (thanks to our frequent flyer be-grateful-you’re-getting-there-in-one-day program), we’ve splurged and bought cheap one-way fares to get us home in one 2.5-hour trip.  Frankly, the thought of not slogging through a connecting airport with a stroller and carseat and, oh yes, a baby, is a dazzling prospect I dare not dwell too long on lest it turn out to be a mirage and vanish before my eyes.

So what was the travel really like?  Did it live up to my nightmares?  Did Madeleine melt down frequently, and at great volume?

For the most part, no.  I have to admit that the commuting part of the vacation was less dramatic than I had anticipated, though it was certainly grueling.

And my baby girl?

She’s a trooper.

I’m back!

Ok, I’m not really back.  We’re on the tail end of our vacation; a business trip for my husband with a company that thoughtfully allowed families to come along.  So Maddie and I are living it up poolside while Daddy works.   But  I missed you guys, and can’t help myself; I’ve ended up just “jotting down a few notes” several nights this vacation.

We’re finally packed (almost) and ready for our big vacation. It’s our first real vacation as a family; our first trip that doesn’t involved visiting family somewhere, that is purely recreational. Almost two weeks of sun and sand.

I’m petrified.

How is this going to affect Maddie? How will she take the changes in her routine? Sleeping in a strange room?

Flying for seven hours?

We’ve got a mountain of luggage and I’ve resigned myself to the fact that we are officially “that family” – the ones everyone else in the airport rolls their eyes about as we pass. I’ve accepted the fact that Maddie probably won’t appreciate being strapped down for a dozen hours a day, and at some point over the next 24 hours she will have a very public meltdown. Doesn’t mean I’m looking forward to it.

So I’m looking forward to the family time; just not the time it’ll take getting to and from that point.

If you’re worried I’m abandoning you, don’t worry; the cyber-girlfriend wouldn’t let you down. My girlfriend Abby will be steering the 1M2A ship while I’m gone. So you’ll get a chance to hear from a more seasoned mom for a week or so. Got any questions? Fire away! Enjoy the fresh voice, and I’ll speak with y’all later!

Have I mentioned Maddie likes shoes?

My mom and I took Maddie for her first adventure in shoe shopping (no guys allowed, of course) and boy, is she a fast learner.

We’ve bought real shoes (as opposed to my beloved Robeez) before, but it was the “stand in Target and hold your kid’s foot to the bottom of a shoe to guess the size” method. This time, we went to a real children’s shoe store and had her foot measured and everything.

I’m glad I did, too; I was squeezing poor kiddo into a size 2 when she’s apparently now a size 4.

Sorry, baby girl.

Hey ladies -

As I wrestle with the fallout of a partial weaning (see today's entry below), I keep going back to Binkytown  and Amy's recent blog on turning the corner with her son's separation anxiety. Her post certainly rings true with me, so I thought I'd pass it on - please check it out. 

So all jokes about weaning plans aside, I did something “unscheduled” recently.

I weaned Maddie off of her nap nursing, cold turkey.

I’ve been wanting to let Maddie wean naturally – lose interest, transition to other rituals, etc. But with a vacation looming (read – no guarantee of ritual availability) it seemed prudent to make sure Maddie didn’t need to nurse to go down for a nap.

So last Monday, I went through everything up to the nursing, hugged her tightly, and put her in her crib.

She started wailing, of course, looking at me with confusion, betrayal, and hurt. At least, that’s what it looked like to my mommy eyes.

Whereas she used to be put in her crib still awake and go to sleep without a fuss, she rolled over, stood up, and ran screaming towards the door where Mommy was beating a cowardly retreat. I stood outside the door and began watching the clock.

This week’s poll is up and running, and it’s school days again!


Where do you stand on sending your child to preschool, or
pre-kindergarten? Do you get them into classes and out of the house as
soon as possible? Do you work full-time, and so already have them in a
school environment? Are you looking for planned socialization? Is it
all about building your child’s resume, so they get in the “right”
college? Or do you save your money, and hold out until kindergarten? I
want to know!

The poll will be up for a couple weeks (my vacation
and all that!); it’s on my home page on the right, under the Topic
buttons. As always, you don’t need to be a registered user to vote;
simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

Last week’s poll asked how often you choose to travel with your baby. Does your baby have his own frequent flyer number? Do you prefer to drive over flying? Or do you stay home by choice if at all possible?

Almost half of you said your baby’s a seasoned pro by now, with quite a few trips under his belt. The rest of the mommies were pretty evenly divided between those who fly when necessary, those who try to drive if at all possible, and those who stay home by choice.

We first flew with Maddie when she was three months old. I knew the mommy trick of nursing Madeleine during takeoff and landing to help equalize her ears, and as promised, she didn’t cry at all during any of the flights. The airline we flew was (overall) helpful, allowing us to pre-board, gate-check our stroller, and carry-on a diaper bag for “free”. I remember when we returned home from the trip feeling as if we had dodged a bullet; no major meltdowns, no huge baggage catastrophes. Maddie’s car seat was part of her stroller so they transported it for us for free. In fact, I had a few mommy friends tell me enviously to “enjoy it while you can”, since apparently newborn is the easiest age to travel with for quite a while.

Madeleine’s well on her way to toddlerhood, and nowhere is it more evident than in her discovery of – and assertion of – her own will.

For a kid who can’t talk, she certainly knows how to make herself understood, and will go to great lengths to get her point across if it’s something close to her heart – like walking.

She’s hit this point where she LOVES to walk (see previous entry) and is incredibly upset to find herself in 1) a carseat; or 2) a stroller. After screaming and arching her back to avoid the stroller, for example, she’ll spend much of the stroller walk time pointing at the ground and speaking anxiously to me, just in case I didn’t understand that she really wanted to get down and walk herself.

So I’m trying to allow her to walk as many places as possible – the park, a friend’s house, whatever. We even go for daily walks around the block so she can stretch her apparently restless legs. But even allowing her to walk isn’t always enough for her, and Maddie and I have to find a way to discuss the situation and arrive at a reasonable compromise.

Since she was a newborn, Maddie and I have regularly had dance time together. At first it was Maddie in the Bjorn  while I tried vainly to calm her colicky cries; then we moved on to pure entertainment  with Madeleine sitting in the bouncy chair and me running through my best stuff. And let me tell you, she was a tough critic.

But as she developed, girlie moved from spectator to participant. She’s now a full-fledged dancin’ queen and has definitely earned her shoes. Her heart’s always been in it, and I’ve been fascinated to watch how her dancing style developed as her body came under her control.

When she first began participating she was severely limited, since she couldn’t actually walk or stand up. She loved to bob vigorously, though, and would hiney scooch around the floor with the best of them. We added scarf dancing soon after, and she’d wave vigorously while mommy twirled around her.

Being able to pull herself to standing ushered in a whole new era of Maddie dancing, and she never looked back. 

My daughter loves to walk.

Put her down on a sidewalk armed
only with a toddler’s instinctive knowledge of the nearest swingset, and
she’s off and running. She can go for surprisingly long distances
without collapsing, and adores being given the space to “do it herself”.

My
daughter loves to walk.

She does not, however, like to turn
around and come back.

Against my husband’s explicit instructions and fervent (and frequent) prayers, Maddie’s become a bit of clotheshorse.

Or should I say, accessory mule.

Clothing’s not really a big interest of hers right now, except in relation to how long it’s going to be before she can take it off. Naked Girl reigns supreme this summer. But the past few weeks have seen an astonishing awakening of the Accessorizing Instinct, and I think there’s no going back.

This week’s poll is up and running – or flying, or something.

I want to know how you travel with your child. Do you stay within short driving distances? Do you go for long car trips? Fly when you have to? Is your child’s passport full already?

As always, the poll will be up all week on my homepage, on the right-hand side below the navigation buttons. And you don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

 Last week’s poll was all about what you consider the ideal spacing between children. Interestingly enough, over half of you said you thought 3 years was ideal. Four years separation was a close second in popularity, with the rest of you saying either two years, or choosing to have an only child, was your preference. No one picked a one-year spacing, probably because the night feedings are still too fresh in our minds . . .

The topic’s been on my mind since several girlfriends around me have had a second child in the past few months. And of the four that I can think of off the top of my head, three of them planned a two-year spacing, while Abby’s boys are almost three years apart. My brother and I are only two years apart and I love having a sibling so close in age, but I’m just beginning to forget what the first few months are like enough for me to consider a second child. Honestly, I don’t know how women with back-to-back pregnancies do it. Heck, I don’t know how any woman with more than one child does it!

As Maddie grows up (sometimes against my explicit instructions) and her protective bubble must perforce grow with her, we see more and more that we’ll be less and less able to shelter her quite so easily. And native New Yorker that she is, we’ve put off one of the quintessential New York experiences – riding the subway.

At first she was a newborn and we didn’t want to expose her to germs. Then it was winter, and we didn’t want to expose her to all the extra germs. Then it was spring and summer and she was mobile and content to hit the local parks. And then – we sort of ran out of excuses.

Of course, one of my excuses was that I didn’t want to have to lug that stroller up and down dozens of flights of stairs in order to navigate the subway, but that makes Mommy look lazy so we’ll leave that one out.

We know she’ll be venturing farther and farther from home as her palm pilot fills up with play dates and toddler classes of some as-yet-undetermined kind, so we decided recently to take the plunge and ride the rails as a family, reasoning it was best to get the first time over with when there was no pressing event to get to.

To that end, last Saturday we hit the subway with Central Park as our destination. 

Yes, I know, been-there-done-that moms everywhere are probably still laughing at me for my naïve expectations that Plan 1 or Plan 2 would actually work.

Or, for that matter, that I still hold out hope of Maddie following any plan at all.

So here I am, back at the old drawing board, but I swear, some of it’s not my fault! For one thing, it turns out my daughter has a cow’s milk allergy. For another- well, I guess that’s the only thing I had no control over.

Where am I now? We’re down to three nursings a day – early morning, naptime, and bedtime. And since it’s not a requirement nutritionally and doesn’t interfere with any part of our day, I almost consider her weaned.

Almost. 

Another first.

And on the one hand, I mourn the passing of an era that won’t come again. Every developmental step her little body takes is one small step out of babyhood, into womanhood. My little munchkin is growing up, and I’m powerless to stop it.

And on the other hand –

SHE HAS A TOOTH!!!!

As Madeleine continues to develop a fascinating personality of her own, a couple aspects are coming to the forefront and I can’t imagine where she gets them from –

The kid is opinionated.

And bossy.

Now I grant you, she doesn’t speak much English. She can say pretty much any word that starts with the letter “B” – ball, bubble, belly button, book – though they all sort of sound the same. And she’s got the “mama”, “dada” “nanana” (banana), “kitty”, and “no no no” down pat. Especially the “no no no” part. Other than that, though, she’ll just lecture on in her own language and expect you to keep up.

And lecture is the operative word here. She’s clearly having a heated conversation – dare I say, argument – with you, and woe be it unto you if you don’t figure out what she wants from you. 

This week’s poll is up and running, and I want to know what you think about additional kids.

What’s the ideal spacing of children for your family? One year? Two years? Three or more? Or are you determined your baby will be an only child? I want to know.

As always, the poll will be up all week on the right-hand side of my home page, just below my navigation buttons. And you don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

The results are in from last week’s poll and we’re all over the map!

I wanted to know when you first began leaving your child with a paid caregiver, be it regular daycare, a babysitter other than Grandma, a nanny, or whatever. The replies were evenly spread out over the entire age spectrum, running from six weeks or earlier all the way up to older than two years!

There are a lot of things that factor in to when you first leave your child with a substitute caregiver, with necessity – usually financial – and your comfort level being the biggest two. While I think the poll answers don’t give us a glimpse into any of the decision-making that went on before baby first got left with “someone else”, I’ll be bold enough to say the poll results tell us one thing:

Kids are pretty hardy, and if our hearts are in the right place as we make these decisions they’ll probably turn out pretty well.

I’m guessing it was just as hard for each of the moms who voted to leave their baby for the first time, whether that was at six weeks or two years. And I’ll also go out on a limb here and say that we’ll remember that first time way longer than our kids will. 

When Madeleine was around 10 months old we began to see small spots on
her face that gradually increased, and at her 1-year visit our
pediatrician confirmed it as an allergic reaction. Since the reaction
was not severe, though, she said we could either try to figure out what
was causing it or simply live with it. As long as Maddie wasn’t
uncomfortable, eating a food she had a reaction to was no big deal.
Most infant food allergies are outgrown by age 2 or so, and consuming
something at her age that she’d have a reaction to would in no way make
her more likely to keep that allergy for life.

And before you
ask, yes, I did the slow food introduction thing. I introduced every
new food to Madeleine one at a time, waiting five days between each food
for signs of an allergic reaction. When I told our pediatrician that,
and that nothing happened, she said sometimes an allergy won’t come on
right away. Made me feel a bit better as a mommy, but I still felt like
a bit of a Slacker Mom for not catching it sooner.

So as I said,
we had two choices. Try to pin down the allergy food, or simply let her
live with it. Being the obsessive-compulsive I am, I had to know what
was causing it. So we went to work.

Madeleine’s been practicing sitting on just about everything she can get her hands – er, hiney – on, including Mommy’s head (see previous blog). It’s amazing to me all the skills we adults take for granted, that kids have to actually learn to do. Standing and sitting are something I really don’t put much thought into, let alone find to be fun and exciting activities.

Not so my daughter.

We’ve got a couple things around the house that are kiddie height for her to sit on, and a few more she simply adapts to her needs. There’s the child-sized rocking chair that was my mother’s, dusted off from storage and handed over to Maddie. She loves sitting in it almost as much as she likes rocking her Elmo doll, saying, “Rock, rock, rock, rock,” while she rhythmically pushes the plush toy. 

Maddie’s eating habits are entering toddlerhood, and all I can say is, weird kid.

First off, she’s got an aversion to meat. It’s the whole texture thing, and she likes deli meat and ground beef but can’t stand cooked chicken or beef. She also won’t eat much egg, which used to be one of her favorite meals. Ditto with the avocado – now she picks at it at best.

Which creates a bit of a problem for me. See, Maddie’s not eating much dairy since we’ve discovered she seems to have a mild allergic reaction to it. So she’s not drinking milk, eating cheese, and so on. She’s pretty amenable to soy milk, but won’t drink more than maybe four ounces a day, and it doesn’t have as much fat and protein as whole milk at any rate.

I’ve been so hesitant to say anything, but it looks as if my daughter’s settling into a good, predictable nap every day.

The hesitancy is two-pronged: one, you hate to rub a consistent nap into another mommy’s face.

And two, Maddie might hear me and decide to punish me for being complacent – say, by taking the naptime away from me. 

I’ve been so hesitant to say anything, but it looks as if my daughter’s settling into a good, predictable nap every day.

The hesitancy is two-pronged: one, you hate to rub a consistent nap into another mommy’s face.

And two, Maddie might hear me and decide to punish me for being complacent – say, by taking the naptime away from me. 

This week's poll has to do with getting out of the house without the munchkin.

I want to know - when was the first time you left your baby in a substitute caregiver's charge? And I'm not talking about leaving your daughter with Grandma, or with your best friend who lives next door.

I'm interested in the first time you left your child with a paid caregiver, be it nanny, daycare, or one-time babysitter. Did you return to work and start using daycare at six weeks? Did you wait until your child was six months old? After his first birthday? Still not willing to leave your baby with a "stranger"? I want to know!

As always, the poll will be up all week on the right-hand side of this home page, below all the category tabs. You don't have to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

If there’s one thing worse than being sick the same time your child is, it’s being sick when your child is not. I recently went through 24 hours that once again highlighted how nothing in your life is the same after your child is born. Be forewarned – TMI coming up.

Late one night I began to experience what I’ll call Speedy Intestinal Problems, or SIP. This got me up several times during the night, and somehow Madeleine decided to piggyback on that and get me up in the intervening half-hours. Here’s a fun activity: awake to the sound of your daughter screaming at 2:30 a.m. Check her diaper, which will turn out to be dry but will aggravate her mightily. Nurse her for a bit, then realize you need to run to the bathroom. Put her back in her crib so she can scream while you deal with your SIP. Then nurse her some more, same as before except now she’s truly ticked off by your abandonment. Good times.

After a largely sleepless night, I was exhausted and dehydrated. Maddie, however, was fine.

The SIP continued during the day, making me very leery of eating, well, anything. Which, because I’m hypoglycemic, had an unintended side effect:

SIP= dehydration=not eating=hypoglycemic migraine. 

As we strive to beat the heat this summer, we’ve broken down and gotten ourselves one of those kiddie pools for the back yard.

I’ve always been resistant to them; they kill the grass, they get dirty, they take up space, and you have to empty them after every use or it’s simply an incubator for those West Nile mosquitoes. But I found one that seemed to solve some of those problems and with the heat, the reduced family hours at our local Y, and Maddie’s love of all things aquatic, I broke down and bought it.

Listen up – if you have five feet of available outdoor space, go buy this thing. It’s probably on end-of-season sale now. 

Here's your daily reminder to check out Monday's entry entitled, "Mommy Tips Survey". Post your best mommy tip in the comments section for a chance to win a free gift! It's up all week.

Madeleine’s been getting more and more comfortable with other kids; between playing in the nursery before church, and hanging out at the park every day with other toddlers, she’s starting to understand that there exist other small beings than herself, and they get to play with stuff too.

And since I’ve been making a couple friends at our park, I thought it was time to hit another first: The Play Date. 

In yesterday’s blog I talked about practical issues you need to consider that you may not have thought of, like picking a pediatrician and installing the car seat.

But there are lots of parenting issues a couple may not be aware need discussion, that can really test the marital ties in the midst of sleep deprivation and three days in a row of Chinese takeout. So here’s my biggest piece of advice to expectant parents:

Have lots of fights with your spouse.

You’ve got many decisions to make about what sort of parent you’re going to be. Some of them are already half-made based on your upbringing and seem so obvious you assume your spouse agrees with you until it’s 3 a.m., you bring the baby in bed with you, and your husband freaks out, saying you’ll make your 2-week-old son a mama’s boy. Trust me, it’s better to at least start these fights now, when you can play the old hormone card, than after the baby comes and you’re both so sleep-deprived you can’t remember your husband’s name. Here’s a list of topics to get you started: 

Ok, listen up parents-to-be. Here’s the blog you will want to print out and put up on your refrigerator.

I’m not going to tell you all the stuff to buy for baby, or how to pick an OB, or epidural vs. natural childbirth. There are tons of books already written about that stuff, and frankly, it’s not as important as what we’re going to talk about today. Well, ok, so it is, but this is important too.

I’m going to give you a list to get you started on After Baby Comes. Yep, these fun nine months of pregnancy, preparation, and progesterone-induced puking will come to an end and when they do, you’ll be too sleep-deprived to get cracking on staying ahead of the Parent Curve. So read on, and get going.

This week’s poll we’re doing something different.

Instead of a poll, it’s more of a survey, and instead of a pre-written answer you click on and submit, you write the answer yourself, with a chance for a free gift!

Here’s my question: What’s the best mommy tip you’d like to pass on to other moms?

Do you have a tip for organizing your nursery? A trick for making homemade baby food? A secret for getting out poop stains, or soothing a screaming toddler in the middle of the mall?

I want to hear about it. So write up your tip in the comment section of this entry.

Be sure to include your email address, because here’s the added bonus –

I’ll narrow the tips down to a few favorites, and my girlfriends and stay-at-home-dad guy pal Graham  – my Mommy Focus Group that I turn to for help – will select their favorite tip. The winner will receive a FREE pressed puff from Pure Me (see my previous blog to understand its awesomeness), courtesy of the inventor of Pure Me, a fellow mom.

You don’t need to be a registered user to submit a tip; you can submit as a guest. But registered users will be much easier for me to get back in touch with, so if you submit as a guest be sure to publish your email so I can find you! And you can post as many tips as you want, but please post each one separately.

My girlfriends may publish tips of their own, but don’t worry, they know they’re exempt from winning the prize.

You’ve got until Saturday to submit here, so get to it! The winner will be chosen later next week.

Good luck, and speak up!

Last week’s poll certainly revealed to me that I’m not alone in the “Less Ain’t So Bad” school of grooming these days.

The poll focused on how your grooming habits have changed since becoming a mommy, and almost half of you said you try to look presentable and shower daily, but don’t spend as much time in front of the mirror as you used to. Most of the rest of you admitted to showering a couple times a week and combing when necessary, while one brave mommy (God bless your honesty!) said she’s happy to get out of the house without her breast pads showing, and with the spit-up blending into her fabric.

This topic came to me a couple weeks ago while I was showering one evening. I was hacking away at nearly a week’s growth of leg hair and thinking how different my standards are now than they were a year plus ago; I’m happy to shower twice a week and find time to shave maybe once in those seven days. As I realized how embarrassed I’d be to admit that to a lot of people (ironic, since I’m confessing it in cyberspace), I became defensive in my inner monologue, reasoning that there’s just no time with the baby! 

Maddie and I are in the habit of hitting the park every morning as part of our routine. She’s made a couple friends (so have I!) and is starting to look forward to seeing familiar faces on the playground.

Since it’s been so hot here – six days of around 100 degrees – Maddie only makes a cursory nod at the swings before heading off to the sprinkler rainbow. One of her friends, Naomi, is always amply stocked with water balloons, and the things fascinate my daughter. She loves to squish them in her hands, drop them and watch them roll, chew on them; you name it, she’s done it. And when she drops it or squeezes it too hard and it breaks, she stares at the ground in honest bewilderment, uncertain where the thing mysteriously disappeared.  

It seems my daughter’s been shopping for a personality recently, and I’m not sure but I think she’s been just haphazardly throwing whatever’s on sale in the cart.

Is it just Maddie, or is this a phase everyone goes through? These random things start emerging that make you scratch your head and wonder: is she watching German t.v. behind your back and not understanding the subtitles? Are you walking in your sleep and doing really weird things she’s trying to emulate?

For there seems to be no rhyme or reason to these idiosyncrasies popping up every few days. Here’s just a smattering of the Greatest Hits she’s collecting:

This week is World
Breastfeeding Week  and the subject seems to be everywhere. The
morning shows, the evening news, nighttime newsmagazines, all seem to be
talking about breastfeeding.

Granted, there are a few hot items
to cover right now. Babytalk, a magazine for parents, ran a
picture on the cover of a mother nursing and had 25% of its readers,
mostly parents, complain and call the cover offensive. CNN ran an article 
about it, if you’re interested, or you can simply hit pretty much any
parenting blog – try Dot
Moms or Daddytypes 
to read a couple takes on it – and get a good summary. One magazine
subscriber was so offended she ran the cover through a shredder, lest
her 12-year-old son see it and be inflamed with lust.

This, of
course, is coming hard on the heels of the national ad campaign that
likened not nursing to riding a mechanical bull while pregnant, so
harmful is formula for your baby. And it’s in the midst, too, of some
pretty high-profile protests by self-styled “Lactivists” staging
nurse-ins to promote breast-feeding in public. There's a great article
profiling the whole "nursing in public" thing; click here to
read more.

And as the battle of the boob heats up, I can’t help
but feel sorry for the people caught in the cross-fire: the new mommies.
On the one hand you’ve got moms telling you it’s going to cause your
child irreparable harm if you don’t nurse, and that you should be proud
of nursing and willing to flaunt it in public; on the other, you’ve got
people with the legitimate complaint that the recent baby boom in major
metropolitan areas like New York has resulted in the takeover of, well,
everywhere by new families; it’s not enough now to have a kid-friendly
space – it has to be kid-centered. (Click here 
to read a good article on that tangent). Stroller Manifestos banning
babies from bars at 2 a.m. are being posted in local clubs (well, duh, I
say) while defiant mommies are sitting down in the middle of Victoria’s
Secret to protest the removal a couple months ago of a nursing mother
from a store. 

I’ve had a couple mommies ask about baby-friendly bug repellant, so here ya go.

When summer came and we began hitting the park twice a day, I didn’t think much about insect repellant. After all, I’d never been one to get a lot of bites myself, so how bad could it be? Still, being the over-researched mommy that I am, I asked our pediatrician about it at our 12-month visit as a “just in case” scenario.

She told me we need to stay away from any chemical bug repellant for a few years still. Anything with Deet or pesticides in it is off-limits, since the chemicals are absorbed through the skin. The best solutions she offered were to either buy a “natural” bug spray, or stay indoors from dawn to dusk and avoid things like camping. Because of where we live, the West Nile Virus is a real possibility and she urged us to not look on mosquito bites as a rite of passage for kids.

I dutifully tucked the information away at the back of my brain, not really thinking I’d ever need to use it. Three nights later we returned from our evening park trip, only to discover four huge new welts on the back of Maddie’s legs. The next day, another one appeared after our morning play time!

Obviously, the mosquitos had discovered Madeleine’s delicious sweetness and declared it Open Season. 

. . . is Maddie’s two front teeth.

Heck, I’m not even that picky. Any teeth will do at this point.

Last week’s poll results are in, and I’m trying not to take it personally but it seems every vote you mommies cast on when your child got her first tooth was a smug (ok, to my jealous mind) reminder that my daughter’s smile is still gummy.

Most mommies said their child got a first tooth right around six months, which is textbook teething time. The rest of you were evenly spread out over the next six months right up to one year old, except for one poor mommy whose child was an early bloomer at four months. I say poor mommy since I can’t imagine nursing for so many months with a mouth full of teeth chomping down on you.

And out of everyone who voted, no one said her child got a tooth after one year old! Meanwhile, here I am with the close-to-fourteen-month Toothless Wonder. 

Ok moms, it’s time to ‘fess up.

We all know that life right after the baby comes is crazy, and we’ve all told the horror stories about not getting a shower for 12 days straight, or only getting one leg shaved before a baby meltdown.

Once those first few weeks (ok, first few months) are over, though, most of us still would prefer to do more important stuff – like sleep – than blow dry our hair to picture-perfect straightness any more; our meticulous grooming becomes a thing of the distant past.

So where do you fall? Are you still carving out time from those four hours a night of sleep to get up and get a full face of makeup on? Are you happy to aim for “neat”? Is a once-a-week shower now standard? Or are your sites set even lower?

Be honest – it’s an anonymous poll, after all. As always, the poll will be up all week on the right-hand side of the home page, under all the content tabs. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

I’ve always been a big Egyptology buff, and I’m lucky that I can indulge my fetish at the Metropolitan Museum of Art; their collection is amazing and I’ll happily walk through it and lecture (completely incorrectly, I’m sure, but my friends know even less than I do) for hours.

The Met recently had a lovely exhibit come through on Queen Hatshepsut, and when I saw the ads early this spring my pulse quickened and I made a mental note in my daytimer not to miss it.

Until reality came back, and I realized oh, yes, I have a kid now.

Unfortunately for Maddie, I really like Egyptology, so in the last days of the exhibit the Madster and I carefully packed a diaper bag and hopped into the car. I spent the drive excitedly talking about the 18th Dynasty and politics of the day; Maddie spent the drive excitedly talking about her plastic keys.

We recently had a couple of excruciatingly hot days here in New York City. And believe me, I know from hot; I’m a Texas girl. The difference between Texas heat and New York heat? Everything in Texas is air-conditioned, and the power company assumes you’ll actually use it.

In New York, however, you’ve got mass transit with its stiflingly hot subway platforms, a preponderance of small stores and homes without air-conditioning, and a power company that seems so surprised when power usage goes up during a heat wave that you almost feel sorry for them.

We spent several days in a brownout, making being out and about actually attractive in comparison to the sweaty, still air of our home. So we hit the park several times a day, and came up with lots of reasons to run stroller errands.

Even with the park being cooler than our home, Maddie still worked up a sweat running around. She’s always been a bit prone to heat rash, especially on her neck and back of her shoulders from snuggling while nursing. I’ve always thought it’d be something we simply lived with, but I recently found a product that’s helped us out a lot.

Maddie’s whole current separation anxiety thing seems to be a part of a larger issue these days: transitions.

We’ve spent a lot of time working on transitions from a parenting point of view (see previous blog), but Madeleine’s hitting an age of awareness where she needs a little help going from A to B.

Any change in her activity can set her off. And I don’t mean a change in her daily schedule; we’ve got a routine going and it helps her feel confident about what’s coming next, but we mix up our life enough that she’s not stressed if we skip the park one evening or don’t have Music Time one afternoon.

I mean smaller transitions: going from playing an instrument to having a diaper changed. Or leaving the swing set to get on the slide. It’s like she enters this timeless period where she’s content to do the same thing – be it playing with duckie while I brush my hair in the morning, or pushing her push toy up and down the hallway – ad infinitum. She enters a “task zone” and is startled and discomfited when that zone is interrupted. 

Last week we were in the midst of a so-dark-of-a-brown-it-may-as-well-be-black out from Monday night to Thursday afternoon, with a little reprise this Sunday and Monday. That means our fridge was barely hanging in there – the light comes on so dimly you think it must be nighttime in Refrigeratorland – but we had no microwave, no toaster oven, no computer or internet access (note the paucity of postings as I went through blogging withdrawal), no air conditioning, no air conditioning, no air conditioning.

Did I mention no air conditioning? 

This week’s poll is up and running, and if you’ve read my blog recently
the topic should come as no surprise:

When did your baby get his
first tooth?

Was he an early popper? Did they come in right
around six months? Nine months? One year? I’m dying to know if I’m the
only mother of a toothless toddler.

The poll will be up all
week on the right-hand side of this home page, below the content tabs.
Remember, you don’t have to be a registered user to vote; simply click
and submit!

Last week’s poll was all about the enforced isolation that comes with a sick kid. Most of you said you keep your child isolated until the fever’s broken and the mucous runs clear, while a few admitted to the “if baby feels up to it, baby’s out and about – it’s good for other kids to be exposed to germs” attitude. A couple also said they’re the “lockdown until it’s all gone” type of parent, and wish more people returned the favor.

The poll topic was fresh on my mind the past couple of weeks as Maddie went through her first illness. I’ve always been grateful for girlfriends who stay home from church when a little one’s sick, or who keep their baby turned away from me while we talk because he’s got a cold. I’ve watched my girlfriend Abby spend week after week with her two boys passing a cold back and forth between them as Abby slowly goes stir crazy. And I always assumed I’d repay the favor; that when Maddie got sick, I’d keep us politely at a distance until she was no longer contagious.

(Please note – this is the fourth in a four-part series on c-sections. If you’ve missed out, please read Deciding On A C-Section  Having A C-Section  and Recovering From A C-Section to catch up.)

It’s time to leave the hospital and head out into the world: just you, your husband, your new baby, and a neat incision.

The staff will talk through a sheet of instructions for you that you’ll only half hear because it’s dawning on you that you’re leaving the safe womb of the hospital and its 24/7 room service and care. You’ll set up a 2-week appointment to visit your OB and check on your scar’s healing, either before you leave or soon after you get home. You will –with great foresight – insist that your husband fill your Tylenol with codeine prescription before you leave the hospital, so there’s no lag time in your doses. You will take a Tylenol-codeine soon before you leave. Your doctor will instruct you to spend the next two weeks holding nothing heavier than the baby.

Ten minutes later, if you’re anything like me, you’ll pick up your baby.

In her car seat.

Let’s just say that’s a mistake and move on.

We’ve seen a return of separation anxiety in Maddie’s life over the past month or so, and let me tell you, I didn’t miss it.

We’re getting the new, expanded Separation Anxiety 2.0 version this time around, too.   Last time it was “merely” mommy being out of the room or out of sight, and constantly talking to her or coming back for her to see me seemed to help.  Of course, that didn’t work when I’d be gone for long stretches of time – say, at work – but those didn’t seem to be an issue once she got past the first few minutes and forgot I existed.

This time around we’re having trouble with her seeing me, Brian, or Gamma leave.  If Maddie’s in my room helping me get dressed in the morning and Daddy wanders in, grabs his watch, and wanders out, she sobs and throws herself at the door.  If Gamma’s over for the night and it comes time to go home, Maddie will cheerfully hug her and say “bye bye”, waving calmly, but once Gamma walks out the door and Maddie sees her walking away AND NOT COMING BACK, it’s as if she finally realizes what “bye bye” means and she begins pounding on the glass:  “No!  Come back!  I didn’t mean it!  That was just a game!  COME BACK!!!!”  She then collapses, inconsolable for a few moments.

Maddie’s been wrestling with a cold since last Monday, and we spent last week learning all about the varieties of snot, how little a toddler enjoys having her nose wiped, and that fun game of multiple personalities called “I’m Not Sick! I Feel Fine! I Feel Awful! Time To Have A Meltdown!”

I’ve been amazed at how long it’s taken to get out of her system; when my girlfriend Abby told me a week ago that it takes about seven days for a baby’s cold to run its course I remember being shocked, and certain my kid would be ahead of the curve. Alas, ‘twas not so, and the Snot Factory really didn’t shut down until Sunday.

Interlaced with the whole cold issue, though, seems to be a round of teething. Towards the end of last week Maddie became a new kind of cranky, looking for lots of cuddling and snuggles, bursting into tears, and hitting herself on the head. This was different from the playing furiously then stopping and dropping in her tracks to suck her thumb and roll wanly on the floor she’d been doing earlier in the week, and frankly, not nearly as fun.

She spent the whole weekend on an incredibly short fuse, clearly unhappy and needing a lot of pampering. Then Monday it went to a whole different level.

Last week’s poll was about food allergies and your infant. Did your baby show any signs of a having food allergy, either to something in your breastmilk or formula, or in solid foods?

The only two infant allergies reported were evenly split – soy and dairy. Not surprisingly, these are two of the most common allergies in babies and toddlers. Unfortunately, these two foods are in everything, under a variety of disguises, making them almost impossible to avoid.

The good news about food allergies in infants is that it’s almost always outgrown: the vast majority of infants with allergies will go on to be food allergy-free as adults, usually outgrowing their allergy by 2 or 3 years old. The exceptions to that, unfortunately, are peanuts, tree nuts, shell fish, and fish: those are rarely outgrown.

This week’s poll is up and running and should come as no surprise to you. Since Maddie was laid low with her first cold last week (and consequently Mommy was kept hopping as the in-house entertainment, but that’s a different blog), I’m incredibly interested to hear how you handle the whole quarantine situation.

Does your house go into lockdown when the nose starts running? Are you of the “if the snot’s clear the kids are free” school of thought? Or do you think kids get germs, it’s a fact of life, deal with it? I want to know what you think!

As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right hand side below all the category buttons. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard!  

(Please note – this is the third in a four-part Friday series on c-sections. Read Deciding On A C-Section and Having A C-Section to catch up.)

You’ve had a c-section. The spinal anesthesia has worn off and your new best friend, the morphine drip, is happily running. You’ve been cleared to head to your new home for the next few days, your recovery room. Your OB smiles and waves bye-bye, promising to check up on you in the next day or so. Your baby is wandering around making new friends in the nursery.

Now what?

Here comes some of the icky stuff. 

Madeleine’s first cold seems to be a mercifully short one; a sort of starter cold, if you will, breaking us in gently.  She slept through her first full night of sickness as she normally does, which told me she’s not hugely congested to begin with.  I woke up the second morning hoping she was all better, but alas, ‘twas not the case.

Her eating was still off, and her mood swings still erratic, but I could see that Maddie was beginning to feel better on her second day of sickness.  Unlike her mother.

The one problem?  The kid wouldn’t nap.

Ok, as much as I’ve prevaricated and stretched the definition of “sick” to put off Maddie’s first illness as long as possible, my luck has finally run out.

This isn’t teething, it’s not a reaction to a vaccine, and it’s not a food allergy.

This is good, old-fashioned, bona fide snot-running-out-the-nose, congested-little-cough sick.

Maddie started a delicate, ladylike cough a few days ago and I naively chalked it up to teething.  What can I say; my kid’s 13 months old and has no teeth, so what do I know?  Other than the little cough, which troubled her not one whit, she had no symptoms, so it seemed as good a guess as any.

Yesterday, however, I woke up with a cold and judging from the sad little sneezes and Camille-like coughs coming from the moniter, I wasn’t the only one.  When I walked into the room to get Maddie up she was standing smilingly in her usual corner of the crib, anticipating Mommy’s Big Arrival.  I walked over to her and, as if she suddenly realized she didn’t feel good, she crumpled into a little heap and began sobbing.

Is there anything more painful, more knife-piercingly hard to take than your baby’s sad little eyes looking up at you as if to say, “Mommy, why don’t you fix this?”

Last week’s poll results are in, and wow, we’re a bunch of self-sufficient mommies.

I asked how often you were in phone contact with your pediatrician during Pumpkin’s first six months. I expected it to be a bit more all over the map, but you overwhelmingly responded that you spoke with your doctor only at well-baby visits. A few said you talked somewhere between 2 and 6 times in those first six months, while only one mommy bravely admitted to being practically on a first name basis with her pediatrician!

I have to admit, I thought I’d be on the high end of this poll, but since we talked to our doctor twice outside of well-baby visits during Maddie’s first six months, it puts us at the lower end. No martyr’s crown for me, dang it.

This week’s poll is up and running and I’m interested to see the results.

This week I’m asking about infant allergies – specifically food allergies. Food allergies seem to be on the rise in the U.S. and I’d like to know how you’re faring. Did your child react to dairy in your breast milk? Did soy formula produce a rash, or worse? Any wheat problems?

If you’ve got older kids, please respond only about allergies from the first two years, since most infants outgrow these allergies during toddlerhood and lifetime allergies are something else entirely.

As always, the poll will be up all week on the right-hand side of the front page, underneath all the category buttons. You do not need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

(This is part two of a four-part Friday series on c-sections; click here  for the first installment.)

When my daughter was discovered to be stubbornly breech, my OB talked through our options with us. Many doctors will automatically schedule a c-section for a breech baby; they worry about he head and neck being damaged during delivery; the chin can get hung up on your pelvis, the doctor can pull too hard . . . and brain damage results.

My doctor was willing to allow me to try a vaginal delivery if I went into labor naturally, provided the baby didn’t get too big and nothing seemed to be wrong with the situation. After much discussion and research, we decided to try it. My OB warned that she would have final veto power, and if I went into labor and anything even “smelled funny”, she’d whisk me into the operating room for a c-section. She also said she reserved the right to insist on a c-section if it got too close to my due date and I didn’t go into labor.

Baby girl didn’t turn, and I didn’t go into labor, and the c-section was scheduled. I was very nervous – not about the surgery itself, since I implicitly trusted my doctor and her track record. This just wasn’t how I’d envisioned the birth experience, and I didn’t want to spend my first important bonding weeks with my daughter on pain medication and distracted by the whole recovery process. I couldn’t find anyone who had had a c-section to tell me what to expect, how much it hurt, what “they” don’t tell you.

So in the event you need a c-section, here’s what to expect, how much it hurts, and what “they” don’t tell you. 

With so much free time to kill –er, enjoy – over the past holiday weekend, we hit the park a good twice a day, maybe more. Madeleine loves the park, and if you add up the time it takes to do the sunscreen “massage”, pack the stroller, walk to the park, play, cry about leaving, get home, and unpack, you’ve got a good hour you can tick off the timesheet.

Madeleine’s first love at the park was the swings, and it’s where we start our park adventure every time, creature of habit that she is. She then discovered the slide and quickly conquered that apparatus. Transitioning to Advanced Park Play, she’s moved on to the stairs.