1 Mother 2 Another

Maddie:


Yesterday morning was a very hard morning for getting to school,
wasn’t it? You decided to walk, and when Cora opted to ride
her scooter and you realized Cora would be (gasp!) ahead of you,
well, you didn’t like that. You took off running, trying
– and succeeding, for a block – to be even with/ahead
of Cora, even as she tried her hardest to get out in front for
once. When I saw you running so hard ahead of your sister, after
you’d just said your legs were too tired to ride a bike, my
heart broke a little bit. It broke for Cora, certainly, who looks
up to you so much, and feels the weight of being the youngest in
the family – which means she’s never as fast as you,
never knows as much math, never reads books as big as yours –
and who just wanted to be first down the path to school. For once.
Every other time she’s ridden her scooter, she’s had to
ride behind you on your bike – and be reminded once again
that she can’t ride a bike, can’t keep up with you.
Even if she starts out first on the sidewalk, you come up behind
her, ringing your bell and saying, “Excuse me, Cora,
you’re going too slow.” Today was Cora’s chance
to be the leader, to know what it feels like to have some quiet
time and get to the stop sign first, and when I saw you press
insistently ahead of her in the alley I felt so bad for Cora.


But my heart also broke a bit for you, to see you make that choice
–or, perhaps, to not even make a choice at all, and simply
think “I can go fast so I will.” In which
case you didn’t consider your sister at all. When I saw you
do that, I became angry – angry that my two girls were going
to have a rough start to the day, angry that this choice
you’d made would define the rest of the trip to school, angry
that there was no consideration for your sister in your choices.


And I let those feelings out when I spoke to you about it,
didn’t I? I pointed out every single thing you did wrong, and
why it was wrong, and how it hurt Cora. And while I may have spoken
the truth, I don’t think I did a good job speaking to you
with love, and for that I apologize. In the Bible, Paul tells us
we’re supposed to encourage each other, and build each other
up, and I tore you down.

Now, sometimes a parent needs to point out
what her child does wrong; it’s my job to instruct you and
show you your errors so you can learn from them. But I don’t
think I did it as lovingly and wisely as I could have yesterday. I
am asking you to look around you a little more, take a little more
notice of others and how you might build them up throughout your
day, think less of yourself and be encouraging and supportive to
your friends and family. So you should expect no less from me.


Here’s what you did RIGHT this morning: you waited for me
when I told you to. You didn’t stomp your foot and refuse to
keep walking once I’d spoken to you. You didn’t argue
about apologizing to Cora, and you didn’t carry your anger
and frustration into the school with you. And those are no small
things.


There’s so much you do right in your life, baby, and you can
see the fruit of those actions everywhere you look – in how
many friends you have, in how welcome you’ve made the new
girl feel at her new school, in how much you care about your
classmates on the fringe, in the beautiful drawing Cora made that
shows she thinks God provided for her by giving you to her. I see
how much you’ve grown over the summer, as a person and in
your walk with Jesus, and feel so much joy in that. So when I see
you do something selfish – like not give your sister one of
your two pieces of candy after Sunday school – I get
frustrated because I know that’s not who
you are. I know that’s not where your heart is. But I
need to correct you with love and understanding and grace–
because I sin all the time! And would be lost without God’s
grace.


So I’m sorry this morning’s lesson got taught the way
it did, and promise to try to structure those correction times a
little better. Let’s see if we can both work on putting this
verse into our hearts, memorizing it, and trying to live it out,
ok?


I love you, baby girl!


Mommy

"Therefore encourage one another and build each other up,
just as in fact you are doing." 1 Thessalonians 5:11