Raising Girls to be Women
Maddie’s eight now, and we’ve
long seen some Serious Talks coming down our pike at this house.
It’s commonly touted that girls mature faster than they did
when I was growing up, for a variety of reasons.
I’m not trying to discuss the theories behind
“why” – growth hormones in dairy products,
over-explicit and age-inappropriate media exposure, there’s
quite a list of common theories out there. But I am hearing so much
of the “fourteen is the new eighteen”, and “nine
is the new twelve”, and I can’t deny that I’m now
within shouting distance of age nine.
So I do what I always do in situations like this – I start
reading.
I’ve read a slew of incredibly great
blogs and articles recently, and I’d love to reprint them
right here in one cozy spot so I can print this off myself and go
back to them all at once whenever I need to. But I can’t, so
I’ll link to them instead. Where to start?
How about with
target="_blank">One Thing Your Daughter Doesn’t Need You To
Say at target="_blank">Chatting At the Sky. I love this article,
about how to raise girls to be leaders and examples without raising
them to feel like they have to come across as perfect, and thus
hide who they really are. It’s about how allowing your
“real” self to hang out is sometimes the best thing you
can do as a friend, and for yourself.
From there, Chatting With the Sky went on to write another
brilliant one less than a week later –
target="_blank">12 Things Your Daughtes Needs You To
Say. Things like, “I have hope” or
“I’m sorry” or “be who you already
are”. These two blogs from CWTS have really sat with me over
the past few weeks.
Then, for something with a completely different flavor,
there’s
target="_blank">You Didn’t Thank Me for Punching You In The
Face over at target="_blank">Views From the Couch. Here, she points out
most excellently that there’s not such a short walk between
letting a boy shove you on the playground “because he likes
you” and letting a man beat you in your own house
“because he loves you”. She takes a long hard look at
that societal norm of “playground behavior” and made me
really think through what I’d allow, and why, as I raise my
daughter to know her own value and stand up for herself.
Back to the heavy-hitter column, there’s
target="_blank">Raising Daughters In A World That Devalues Them:
Seven Things We Must Tell Them over at
Family. It starts off strong, but bear with me: her list of
things to make sure you tell your daughter (and she truly hears)
includes: You Are Valuable; You Don’t Have To Believe What
You Hear; and You Can Change the World. Again, a really incredible
list.
Lastly, an article I just read today over at Essential Kids:
target="_blank">The Forgotten Years of Girlhood where
Steve Biddulph takes a look at the “lost” years of
girlhood: when are they, and how can we get them back? Steve
stresses the importance of ages 10 to 14, saying these are the
years your daughter becomes the person she was born to be. He talks
through some of the societal stress, and gives great advice on how
to be there for your daughter as she tries to figure out this
impending womanhood thing.
Like I said, we’re not so far away from these tricky ages,
and I’ve been discussing this with my girlfriends, seeking
wise counsel from older moms at my church, and praying. A lot. You
may not be in my boat, or you may have this whole pre-adolescent
thing all figured out already.
In which case – can you send me some advice?
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