Seriously, I Thin There's Meth In The Thin Mints
Maddie’s a Daisy this year –
the level below Brownies in the Girl Scout hierarchy – and
we’ve been introduced to Girl Scout cookies from the selling
side of the desk for the first time. I have dim memories of my own
years selling Girl Scout cookies, which consisted primarily of
handing my order form to my daddy and having him take it to work
and come back with a couple hundred orders. Good times.
I, apparently, am not as nice as my old man, so Maddie’s
cookie sales were considerably less grandiose in scale. As in, she
sold to her relatives, a few church friends, and the people on our
block. Maddie has been surprisingly un-driven about wanting to get
out there and sell! Sell! Sell! She was content to put on her
uniform, hit our cul-de-sac, make a few phone calls, and call it a
day.
This has been incredibly fine with me.
The healthier I get, the less appealing
all the Do-Si-Dos and Tagalongs have been to me; I read the
ingredients label and blanch at the many not-found-in-nature items
in the cookies. I remember as a kid thinking there was nothing
finer, nothing more elegant, than a Thin Mint; that bit of cookie
crunch with a hint of mint, all enrobed in chocolate; what could be
better? Now I look at the ingredient list and see that less than 2%
of the cookie is cocoa powder; partially hydrogenated oil is
muuuuch higher up on the list. So when it came to ordering from our
house, there was none of that “let’s buy 20 boxes and
put them in the freezer so we’ll have some all year
round” that my family did when I was a kid; instead, I told
the girls (and Brian) that everyone could pick one (ONE!) box of
cookies to order and we’d be done.
After much grumbling from all three (THREE!) parties, we ended up
with a box of the lemon things, a box of Tagalongs, and a box of
Thin Mints. “But how can we only get one box of Thin
Mints?” Brian wailed.
Times are tough, babe.
The cookies came in recently, and I congratulated myself on my
foresight (read: laziness) in keeping Maddie’s cookie sales
to a minimum – less sorting and delivering for us to have to
do! Way to go, Mom!
Last night we finally loaded up the red wagon and walked around our
circle, dropping cookies off at the neighbors’. Before we
headed out, I allowed the girls to finally open the three boxes
we’d bought and have one (ONE!) cookie from each box. Though
the sight of the boxes did nothing for me, I decided to eat one
Thin Mint as a show of Girl Scout solidarity.
Oh. My. Merciful. Heavens.
Why did we not order more of them?
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