1 Mother 2 Another

Clearly, I have an opinion about this
holiday.


I don’t understand what we’re celebrating, when my
daughter is sent home with a mandatory list of her entire class,
and orders to make one for each person, plus a fancy box for her
own “love letters”. Yes, this bugs me. Yes, I
understand why she had to give one to everyone in the class, and
not just her good friends. Yes, I think it’s important for
everyone to get the same amount. But here’s what I
don’t get:


Why do it in the first place?

Just skip the drama and cost and
assembly-line valentines and box-making and
nasty-candy-heart-buying. I’m sorry, for all you people out
there who dive into this holiday like it’s a box of Godiva
chocolates. Sorry. I just don’t get it.


Now, I DO understand making special valentines for good friends,
and for family. I get that. And on a “holiday”
that’s all about love, I get using the heart-shaped cookie
cutter for the sandwich. I do. But how are we teaching our kids to
have honest emotions when we force them to give a love letter to a
kid who’s been bullying them all year?


Friday afternoon I set up the “valentine-making
station” in our kitchen and left it open all weekend. Piles
of construction paper were stacked high, with row upon row of
glitter glue, bags of heart stickers, and a mountain of markers
scattered nearby. The girls’ eyes sparkled at the idea of
decorating cards for people they love, and they dove in.


For the whole weekend, the girls would hop up on their work stools
and craft away throughout the day. Get up Saturday morning, make
some cards, eat breakfast, make some cards, get dressed, make some
cards, and so on. I loved seeing them hunched happily over their
respective pieces of construction paper, chortling with glee as a
particularly brilliant design came to mind. Maddie made an
elaborate Star Wars card for Brian, drew beautiful pointe shoes for
my mom, and drew THREE princesses for Cora’s card. Mine-
well, mine is covered in beautiful hearts and, for the first time
ever, filled with a hand-written message I know I’ll keep
forever.


Maddie made individual valentines for all her good neighborhood
friends, and both girls joined together as we made heart-shaped
lollipops out of mini candy canes and white chocolate. They
speculated as to which friend would like what color sprinkles on
top of each lollipop, and even decorated one for each other.


THAT is what Valentine’s day is all about. Not the
mass-produced cards Maddie dutifully signed one snow day, knocking
out twenty of them in less than an hour. One of Cora’s
favorite valentines yesterday was a card she got in the mail from a
church friend – a paper plate decorated with glued-on tissue
paper that the little girl sat down at a table to make just for
Cora, then folded and put in the mail. Now, I don’t expect
everyone to create works of art for each friend. I just know that
Maddie felt far more treasured and loved by the friends who
weren’t in her class, but went out of their way to hand her a
valentine, than by the ones who were “required” to give
her a card.


Sorry. I’ll step off my heart-shaped soap box now.