1 Mother 2 Another

Cora is, like any two-year-old, insanely
delicious to kiss on. We’ve come up with several different
ways of loving on her, and started saying things like,
“I’m just going to take a little nibble!” or
“I’m going to yum on you!” While this was fun and
cute for a while, Cora has declared that enough is enough.


Apparently, her legalistic two-year-old brain has decided that
“nibbling on you” means we are actually taking some
part of herself away, and she’s begun freaking out at the
thought of all her “nums” and “nibbles”
being eaten by other people. So when my mom says, “I’m
just coming in for a little nibble!” and kisses Cora’s
neck as she walks by, Cora now shrieks, “No! No! No! Put it
back! Put my nibble back on!”

And will continue screaming that until my
mother walks over and slaps Cora’s neck with an imaginary
nibble, at which point Cora contentedly goes back about her
business.


This seemed funny at first, but I realize it’s quite serious
to Cora. I realize this partly because I’m deeply intuitive,
and partly because my toddler sat me down yesterday for a Very
Serious Chat about the whole situation. What follows is her
monologue, as best I can remember it.


“Mommy, we need to stop the nibbling around here. I
don’t like all the nibbles leaving me. Gamma eats too much.
And you are taking all my tummy nibbles away! So NOOOOO more
numming from now on, ok? And NOOOOO more nibbles too, ok? Do you
understand what I’m saying? And if you take a nibble, you
have to give it back, ok? With your hand, not your mouth, in case
you accidentally take another one, ok?”


We hammered out an agreement by which the adults are now allowed to
give Cora kisses (because this is GIVING Cora something, not TAKING
something of Cora’s), but must cease and desist all snacking
or nibbling of all kind. And, indeed, I had to promise to return
any accidental nibbles by hand. I didn’t think anyone would
believe me, but my mom started nibbling last night and Cora began
shrieking about her rights and her returned nibbles.


Seriously, how could I make this stuff up?