1 Mother 2 Another

I figured we weren’t out of the
woods on the whole “starting school emotional trauma”
thing, but I was assuming the stress would show on Maddie the most.
Instead, it’s been Cora who seems to be having the hardest
time.


Cora spent all day yesterday on an exhausting emotional journey,
going from manic to depressive in seconds flat. She woke up an hour
early, crying and clingy and unable to get back to sleep. Then she
spent the morning begging me not to take Maddie to school –
to not leave the house at all. She didn’t want me to go by
myself, and didn’t want to come with me to drop Maddie off.
Cora simply didn’t want it to happen at all.

Then she began thinking of open gym, and
suddenly she was on her happy pills, laughing and smiling and
belting out show tunes for no apparent reason – a sure sign
she’s in a good mood. But as the time came to head to the
gym, she crashed down again. Hard.


I spent most of the morning worrying that she was getting sick,
until I finally realized that she’s either teething or
missing her sister in a big way. Or maybe a combination of the two.
I mean, this kid spent the day talking about her sister again, and
everywhere we went she wanted to buy Maddie a present. Then
she’d fall apart for the most insane things: Cora asked if
she could go to the doctor because she wanted a lollipop. When I
said no, she crumpled on the floor of the store and couldn’t
get past the lollipop for almost an hour – through snack
time, getting ready for dinner, and a good part of dinner, she
simply couldn’t understand why I wouldn’t let her go to
the doctor and get a lollipop.


And the Crabby Cora doesn’t disappear when Maddie’s
around, either; she’ll cling to Maddie, happy and snuggly,
then spin around and hit her viciously for picking up one of
Cora’s toys. I’m telling you, Cora’s world has
been rocked, and she’s having trouble finding her balance on
these uncharted seas.


I’m sure I’d be acting very similarly if I could have
the luxury of indulging my feelings, but I can’t, so I dig
deep and try hard to be patient with Cora, holding her quietly as
she sobs and sobs and sobs for no reason, and rocking her all
afternoon when she can’t sleep. I don’t take her
meanness personally, and try to throw as much love on her as I
possibly can.


I know what it’s like to miss Maddie too, you see.