There's Such A Thing As Too Much Naked Girl
Ok, so here’s the types of naked we
do in this household:
1.Maddie and Cora both like to be Naked
Girl, a superhero whose power is her charm. This is a good
backstory, since it can help us cajole Naked Girl into clothing in
order to hide her true identity.
2.Both girls also like to be naked for nap times, and when I say
naked, I mean wearing a diaper or underpants. I draw the line at
that one, though Maddie has begged many times to go commando. But
naptime seems a natural spot in the day to get naked –
changing out of costumes, or gymnastics leotards, or wet swimsuits,
or whatever – so they usually have a choice of sleeping naked
girl or putting clothes on.
3.Since most naps are taken naked, the girls often spend the
afternoon unclothed around the house. They’ll watch their
videos and eat a snack and play quietly for the afternoon, getting
dressed just before dinner.
4.Naked Girls make one more appearance in a typical day –
night-time routine. Both girls will brush teeth, go potty or get a
diaper change, then do the Nakey Dance in Cora’s room, where
they run around dancing and screaming, “Nakey, nakey, nakey,
we’re doing the Nakey Dance, if you want to do the Nakey
Dance, you can join in and do the Nakey Dance too!”
No one ever does.
But the girls consider it part of the routine, and insist all
available adults watch the dance.
So when I look back over things, I realize the girls actually spend
quite a bit of time in their diaper or underpants. Which may
explain why the line got crossed yesterday.
We had friends over for play time – two little boys –
and were playing outside, doing sidewalk paint and running through
the sprinkler. Everyone was in a swimsuit and having a great time,
until I was called inside by a repair man who needed to talk
through a few things with me. It was time for my friends to head
out, so they said they’d get the kids wiped down and inside
while I talked to the repair guy.
I heard Maddie come in and run to the laundry room, but
didn’t quite figure out what she was doing. Two minutes later
as I stood at the front door with the tradesman, he was interrupted
in mid-sentence in a way not unlike this: “So I think
you’re all set here – um, ok, um –“ and I
turned my head to see my daughter run right past us, stark naked,
up the stairs to her room.
“Madeleine!” I screamed. “What are you
doing?”
She stopped and stood there, starkers, and said, “I took my
swimsuit off in the laundry room, like I’m supposed to, and
now I’m going to my room to get dressed!”
How could I fault her for this? It was, indeed, the protocol for
wet swimsuits. Just not the protocol for wet swimsuits and a house
full of people. But I could understand this, and let it go, until
sixty seconds later she came tripping down the stairs again, still
fully without clothing.
“WHERE are your CLOTHES?” I asked her again. And again,
she stopped and stared, bewildered. “I left them in the
laundry room when I put on my dry swimsuit earlier, remember? I
have to go get them!”
Again, true statement. Why she couldn’t get naked and then
dressed right there in the laundry room at once is a mystery, but
at least she was following protocol and doing things without my
supervision.
She’s four years old now, and it’s clearly time for us
to have the “provisional nakedness” speech; after all,
it’s clearly not ok to be walking around in front of total
strangers without any clothes on, though I can already imagine the
comebacks: “If I’m not supposed to walk around naked in
front of strangers, why does the doctor make me take my clothes off
and walk down the hallway to get on the scale? Those people in the
halls are strangers.” I’ve been putting it off, not
wanting to get into a lengthy discussion of sex offenders or people
who get off on seeing kids naked. I supposed I’ve wanted to
keep her innocent for as long as possible about the whole
sexuality/body thing, and in trying to retain her innocence
I’ve made her a bit too comfortable in her own skin.
So to speak.
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