1 Mother 2 Another

Maddie received an awesome target="_blank"
href="http://www.sensationalbeginnings.com/itemdy00.asp?T1=O+1+4323X">
rock and bounce pony for her birthday last summer after
falling in love with the one in our church nursery. We figured
she’d enjoy it for a long time, but thought it would sort of
come in and out of fashion.


Instead, she’d simply become more and more enamored of the
thing, and given her love of all things adrenaline-inducing, I
think it’s just a matter of time before someone –
either the horse or the girl – gets hurt.

My daughter is an adrenaline junkie.


As if chasing after a naked superhero weren’t enough, I have
to periodically scare those (optional) pants off my kid. For fun.


Yes, we’ve reached the stage in Maddie’s development
where she absolutely loves hide and seek. Not content to simply
have you hide and then seek you out in good, old-fashioned, calm
style, Maddie wants you to hide and stay hidden while she
stealthily (ish) creeps around the house trying to find you. Just
before she gives up but after she’s exhausted all her places
to look my Xtreme Adventure girl wants you to jump out of your
hiding place and scream at her.

When Maddie was only a few weeks old, I
began a game every morning with her as she was dressed. In order to
distract her squirminess, I announce the arrival of Naked Girl,
timing the dramatic monologue to coincide with the removal of the
diaper. Then I’d say, “Naked Girl! Bringing a smile to
the world, one dimple at a time.”


Come on, you’ve done stuff just like this yourself;
you’re simply not bold enough or stupid enough to tell other
people about it.

A recent href="http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16709587/site/newsweek/">Newsweek
article brought my attention to a new free booklet put out
by the nonprofit organization href="http://www.zerotothree.org">Zero to Three a
valuable parenting resource site that’s listed on my target="_blank"
href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=34#top">
Top 5s Page.


This new booklet, “Healthy From the Start”, is endorsed
by the American Academy of Pediatrics and outlines sensible and
healthy eating habits for babies and toddlers – and more
importantly, what we as parents can do to encourage these
habits.

If Babyhood is all about Sleep –
learning to sleep at night instead of day, learning to sleep
through the night, being able to self-soothe and go back to sleep,
getting into regular naps, and so on – then Toddlerhood is
all about Control.


And when I say control, I mean control in many guises: developing
motor skills control, learning about emotions and how to control
them (also known as Not Throwing a Tantrum), realizing adults
control you, discovering how to control adults (can you say
Manipulation?). But there’s one more type of control that
dominates any toddlerhood – potty training.

No, this isn’t a review of that
penguin movie.


My daughter, who has not seen that movie, has Happy Feet of her
own. She and her daddy, who spent a lot of time together last
weekend while Mommy started working on family taxes, came up with a
new game – Happy Feet.

We’ve finally seen a turn in the
weather; it seems winter is actually here to stay. Undaunted, I
simply bundle my kid up extra-well and head out to the park in
spite of the cold. But the past couple of days we’ve had a
snow threat and so have stayed inside, relying on play dates.


So when my friend Ingrid informed me we wouldn’t be seeing
them yesterday because of a dentist’s appointment, I
panicked. No Naomi! How would I keep my child from noticing we
never actually left the house all day?? Which is why I unthinkingly
said, “Why don’t you simply drop Naomi off at my house
while you go to the dentist? Then they can still play
together.” I promise, my motives were purely selfish.


My first inkling that this might be harder than I anticipated was
when Ingrid fell on the floor in gratitude. I hadn’t really
thought about this as being babysitting, just another play date
where one of the adults happens to not be there. But how bad could
it be? Naomi knows me, knows Maddie, knows my house. What could go
wrong?

I’m afraid that our cat’s got
some competition in our household now; what has been up to this
point a one-cat home has suddenly become the residence of two
kitties.


Of course, one of them is my daughter.


I’m not sure where she got this idea, but she absolutely
loves to crawl around on the floor and pretend she’s a cat.
She’ll crawl all over the house, saying, “Meow! Meow!
Meow! Meow!” And just in case I don’t get the message
from that, she’ll periodically stop, pet herself on the back,
and say, “Soft!”

I never thought I’d say this, but my daughter is too concerned with cleanliness, and it’s driving me crazy.

I think the first time we noticed it was during our beach vacation. Maddie had just turned 15 months and been eating solid foods for a long time, and while she never had a spontaneous one-baby food fight, she certainly didn’t seem bothered by the excess pureed blueberries smeared across her face. And while she had never really had a chance to get down and dirty in, say, a mud puddle, she seemed to enjoy finger paints as much as the next child.

A couple weeks ago I told you about a
recent Consumer Reports test; the Consumers Union tested 12
rear-facing infant car seats and reported that 10 out of the 12
seats used failed at least one of their tests.

Last week, the Consumers Union retracted
that report after the federal government claimed the failure
results came from drastically higher test speeds than stated in the
report.

Consumer Reports has announced an internal
investigation into the veracity of the government’s claims,
and that they will re-do the tests as soon as possible and issue a
new report. Meanwhile, they are still urging a recall of the
Evenflo Discovery, the car seat that failed the most in their
tests.

I imagine that if you’re a parent
using one of the infant car seats that got low marks, you’re
feeling partly relieved but partly confused right now. I know I
would be. I’m not sure what I would do in your situation.
Here are the things I know to be true:

Consumer Reports works really hard to
provide unbiased, high-quality, dependable information to
consumers. They refuse to accept advertising or sponsors, conduct
all their tests anonymously so they don’t get
“freebies”, and do not allow companies to even use
their name in advertising such as “Consumer Reports rated us
the best!”

I also know that ANY car seat is better
than no car seat at all. So here are some things you can do:

-Make sure your car seat is in good
condition. If your baby is the sixth one to use it, you may want to
think about buying a new one. Buckles and straps start to wear down
with time, and the plastic may be weaker than you think.

-Along those lines, I’d encourage
you not to buy a car seat second-hand; you have no way of knowing
if that seat you picked up for 20 bucks at a garage sale has
already been in a wreck or not, and thus may be structurally
weaker. Only borrow a used car seat from someone you know and
trust, make sure you have all the instruction books, and look them
up on line to make sure the model hasn’t been recalled.

-If you buy a new car seat, register it
with the maker so they can notify you of any safety issues or
recalls.

-Sign up at href="http://www.cpsc.gov/cpsclist.asp">this site to be
notified of any government recalls; they’ll email you
automatically.

-Get your car seat installation checked.
Click href="http://www.seatcheck.org/">here to find a location
near you. Having your seat correctly installed is half the
battle.

-Click href="http://www.dallasnews.com/sharedcontent/dws/dn/latestnews/stories/011907dnnatcarseats.55ad0942.html">
here to read an article on the car seat test retraction.
You can also read about it at href="http://www.consumerreports.org/cro/cu-press-room/pressroom/2007/2/0702_eng0702ccs.htm">
Consumer Reports’ website or read the
government’s updates on the situation at the target="_blank" href="http://www.nhtsa.dot.gov/">NHTSA
website.

-Use a car seat. All the time.

I’ll let you know if there’s
more news on this topic as I find out about it.

Recently one of my girlfriends went to put her 15-month-old down in his crib for the night. As he hit the mattress, he grabbed for a small object nearby. After she pried the object out of his fingers, my girlfriend realized it was a small plastic vial full of medicine used to fill her son’s nebulizer. He’d somehow gotten hold of one and hidden it in his crib. And if he hadn’t brought it to her attention, he’d have found it in the middle of the night and shoved it in his mouth.

Maddie’s been enamored with the
alphabet for a few months now, and while I want to encourage this
fascination and so forth, her distraction when faced with what she
realizes are Letters and not just A Jumble of Lines is beginning to
wear a bit thin.

Am I the only mom whose kid goes through these passionate love affairs with a specific food, only to suddenly shun them without warning one day?

Maddie’s always been a pretty good eater; as a baby she’d eat just about anything and I smugly assumed that would continue through toddlerhood. I’d listen pityingly to my girlfriends moan about their kids’ refusals to eat veggies and think, “Glad I won’t have that problem.” She doesn’t refuse them completely now, but she is much more enamoured of pasta and cheese than I’d prefer, and broccoli, carrots, and the occasional asparagus (NO CORN!!!!) are about all I can get down her. Thank you, Lord, for Veggie Booty.

Highest on her list, though, has always been fresh fruit, and at first her preferences followed the seasons. Last summer she ate a lot of berries, then fall came and it was apples, and so on. But for the past couple of months she gets this craving for a specific food and God help you if you don’t have it on hand.

We’ve been incredibly spoiled this winter up here in the Northeast; with temperatures unseasonably warm, Maddie’s been able to indulge her passion for the outdoors pretty much unabated. We have yet to have our first snowfall, and in fact this past December was the first December without snow in 120 years. And just a couple weeks ago we had an entire Saturday at 70 balmy degrees!

But I know that this weather won’t last – we’re descending into the 20s and 30s this week, much more typical for this time of year. So I’ve been reading up on how to keep Maddie warm and safe (since telling my toddler “no” to the outdoors is definitely not my favorite option) and I thought I’d pass on what I’ve learned.

As Maddie passes her nineteen-month marker
(yes, I still keep track,) I’m amazed at how different
developmental skills suddenly take off.


She’s always been a talker; in public or with people she
doesn’t know she’ll be quiet and reserved, simply
taking it all in. But with family and close friends she’s
quite the chatterbox. For several months – actually, about a
year now! – she’s been jabbering in her own emphatic
language, using gestures to help us stupid adults keep up. And of
course she started saying individual words last summer – the
basic “dada” and “mama” and so forth
– but recently she’s been forming her own short
sentences, and you’re left to extrapolate on your own.

Infant car seats made news recently when Consumer Reports ran a new batch of tests against 12 brands of rear-facing infant car seats. Using speeds of 35 and 38 MPH rather than the government speed of 30 MPH, Consumer Reports found that 10 out of the 12 car seats failed.

Yes, 10 out of 12 car seats failed.

In addition, Consumer Reports found that when testing a European model of a popular car seat, that car seat performed better than any other car seat they tested. The American version – same manufacturer – failed. Coincidentally, car seat testing in Europe is much stricter. CR also found evidence of problems with the LATCH system, and said seats did better when secured with a seatbelt. One car seat, the Evenflo Discovery, didn’t even meet government standards, and Consumer Reports is urging a recall of that product.

Three car seats failed all of CR’s tests – the Evenflo Discovery, the Graco Safeseat, and the Britax Companion. Only the Baby Trend Flex-Loc and the Graco Snugride with EPS passed every test.

For more information, read the entire report by clicking here. And even if you’ve got a top-rated car seat, I encourage you to find a car seat inspection station near you to make sure your seat is properly installed.

And of course, remember that any car seat is better than no car seat at all.

I recently hit the 20-week mark in this second pregnancy, and as I move forward towards the five-month mark, I recall that this is the time in my last pregnancy where it began to feel as if it were moving more quickly. Do you know what I mean? At the very beginning you’re excited and dreamy, and perhaps exhausted and nauseated, but you have this long pregnancy stretching out before you. Then suddenly you “pop” and have something that’s clearly not “just fat” in front of you, and it becomes much more immediate and real and you start to look anxiously at your “to-do” list. Or perhaps, start to think anxiously about making a to-do list.

I’ve hit several of those moments over this past pregnancy – those times when something you’ve forgotten completely about your last pregnancy comes rushing to the forefront and you can’t believe you ever forgot it. So I’ve compiled a bit of a list, because Lord knows I’ll forget it again if there’s ever a third time. And why is that? The answer is item number one on my Things I Forgot list:

The verdict is in, and the hot new must-have accessory this winter is –

Sunglasses.

Maddie’s had a couple weeks now to break – I mean, break in – her new toys, and she’s ready to offer up her stand-out favorites. As a reminder, Maddie’s 18 months old right now.

Maddie and I have been sick with a cold for the past several days, and while it hasn’t been the worst one ever it’s certainly been the longest one ever- going on ten days now – and my creativity has been sorely taxed. I’m one of those moms that won’t take her kid to the playground until the child is free from a cough or runny nose; I wouldn’t wish a toddler with a cold on my worst enemy. Add to that the fact that Maddie didn’t really feel well enough to run around the park, and we had a long several days of a sick, listless, but still stir-crazy kid.

And apropos of nothing, but if there’s one thing worse than having to take care of a sick toddler while you’re sick as well, it’s having to take care of a sick toddler while your sick AND PREGNANT as well. Without Sudafed or even Motrin to help me out, I’ve been suffering through my drippy nose and raspy cough and sinus headaches cold turkey. I actually found myself thinking one night, “In the grand scheme of things, how bad could it really be for this unborn child if I take ONE DOSE of Nyquil? I mean seriously, it’s not like I’d be doing a line of cocaine!” In the end I chickened out and resigned myself to a sleepless night; my doctor’s so strict I’m not allowed to use most brands of cough drops while pregnant, so the thought of confessing the Nyquil to her was too much to bear.

But I digress.

If you’re not au currant on our history with Elmo, read here and here.

If you are familiar with Maddie’s longstanding love affair with the Red Menace – I mean cute lil red guy – then you’re probably bracing yourselves for what comes next. Fear not – nothing new has been added to our Elmo-stuffed household.

But something I thought could be gotten rid of has been raised to level of favored toy.

Remember how I said that Maddie would have nothing to do with the hot new TMX Elmo? Apparently that’s not entirely true.

There was a remarkable drop in holiday
mellowness last week, right about, oh, December 26, and I
can’t help but notice that it happens every year. The nation
virtually shuts down for the last week of December, but for some
reason it’s seen as slothful or lazy to simply enjoy the
downtime and do nothing; we have to briskly pack up the tree and
lights and hit the organizational sales.


I understand that some of us often procrastinate household chores,
which in this case means still having a bald tree up in the middle
of March. So I can see the attractiveness in using some vacation
time to get a head-start on post-holiday cleanup. But can’t
we take a few days to enjoy the slowness of everything? We spend
all of December “getting ready” – the baking, the
cleaning, the gift-buying and wrapping – all for that one big
day. Why don’t we simply enjoy the fact that our to-do list
is done, and we’ve nothing that really needs doing for a
while? It’s not wallowing, it’s simply being in the
moment and coasting. Those same neighbors who glared at us as
Grinches for not having our lights up the day after Thanksgiving
are now giving us the Stare of Shame for still having them up three
days after New Year’s. Three days! Don’t we at least
get until the weekend??

You’ve successfully survived the holidays, but your house ain’t looking too good. In fact, it looks like a Toys R Us at closing time on the day after Thanksgiving: toys strewn everywhere, assembly instructions hanging from the chandelier where you threw them in frustration at 3 a.m. on Christmas day, and empty packages of batteries littering every square surface. And of course, then there’s your child, who’s now completely acclimated to the whole tree thing and expects tinsel and lights for the next 364 days.

Or maybe it’s just my house.

Seriously, what do you do now? How do you get your toy volume back under control, and keep your baby from discovering Post Holiday Blues?

Well, I’m back and can’t believe how long it’s been since I’ve posted. I had meant to post a bit more often last week, but found lying on the couch watching videos with my hubbie infinitely more appealing. Sorry.

And not that it’s been a while since I’ve had time to watch movies, but did you know they made a sequel to that Pirates of the Caribbean movie? It was pretty good. Apparently there’s going to be a third one as well; can’t wait to watch that one next Christmas.

I think my slug-like inability to sit down and write pretty much sums up our entire Christmas vacation. With Brian off from work all week and me errand-free, Maddie was in hog heaven, basking in all the adult attention.

And of course, there was Christmas itself.

I feel it’s only fair to take a moment and give you my point of view on the whole Check-Up Time Elmo thing, since Maddie’s entry (see previous blog) came across a bit harsh.

So here’s my side of the story.

A couple days before Christmas, I was busy opening all the boxes we’d been sent by out-of-town friends and family. One box, sent to Madeleine, came from Amazon and I thought I knew what was inside. Opening it up, I found a pre-wrapped gift. As I started to pick it up, I heard a very distinct and unforgettable voice say, “Are you giving Elmo a check-up?”

I swear, I about peed in my pants from fright.

Opening up the enclosed packing slip I discovered that no, it was not what I’d thought, and yes, indeed, it was a Check-Up Time Elmo sent from dear Uncle Daniel. Which is fine; Maddie loves Elmo and this gift seemed a sure-fire hit.

What I didn’t know was that this Elmo could also be known as “Chatty Elmo Who Talks Without Provocation.”

Dear Uncle Daniel:

Thank you very much for my new Check-Up Time Elmo. It is one of my favorite presents I got. I like it way better than the TMX Elmo my parents worked so hard to find for me. I carry it around everywhere. I make it ride my bouncy horse. I carry it with me during night-night time and cry when Daddy makes it not make noise.

I especially like how much Elmo talks and sings. Mommy must like it too, because she said that his song gets stuck in her brain and she can’t get it out for hours. Daddy seems to really like it because he said he wants to make a tape of the song and send it to you to hear over and over. I hope he does so you get to see how funny Elmo is.

So anyway, thank you so much for my favorite new toy. You are the best godfather and get me the best presents.

Love,

Your niece Maddie

Is anyone as excited as I am about Christmas being just around the corner?

I feel like a kid again, and it’s at least partly because I’ve acknowledged this year that having a child means everything takes more time. That means both cutting back on my “to-do” list, and planning further in advance. So I gave myself a generous deadline for getting boxes mailed, spaced out the holiday baking, and so forth. Which means that as I write this, I’ve only got a couple more hours of wrapping to do. The sheer luxury of so much time before Christmas!

Even more fun than having several stress-free days ahead, though, is watching Maddie as the date draws nearer. Not that she’s got December 25 circled on her mental calendar; I’m not crazy enough to think she really understands what’s coming up. But she senses that something’s building, something big is just around the corner, and I love watching her anticipation mixing with her toddler need for instant gratification.

As I near the holiday baking finish line, I’m amazed at how different this year is from last year.

Last year I had a six-month-old, incapable of independent motion. This year it’s an 18-month-old who won’t stand still. And both have their pros and cons.

Maddie’s hit this phase where everything she gets her hands on becomes immediately and intimately hers, and Lord help you if you try to get it away from her.

I saw this coming in Maddie’s older friend Naomi, and so was a bit ready for it. But still, you don’t really know what you’re going to do when your toddler begins sobbing and clinging to every single object in her path, from toys to trash.

Today our temperature outside hit a near-balmy 60 degrees. We’ve been enjoying this warm weather as much as possible, aware that all too soon we’ll have snow days keeping us from the park.

But as nice as it’s been outside, I look around my life and feel completely Snowed Under.

Do you know how some women walk around saying that before they had kids, they were good-looking? Well, before I had a child, I was organized.

The older Maddie gets, the more she begins to interact with kids her own age. When we first started hitting the playground and having play dates, she was around a year old and didn’t really play with other kids; she’d play next to other children or watch them interestedly like they were on television or something.

But now that Maddie has been hanging around with her playground pal Naomi for six months, there’s a definite relationship forming, and I think Maddie’s officially got her first BFF –

Best Friends Forever.

We’ve hit that stage in
Maddie’s development where the answer to every question
– even if you haven’t asked a question – is
“no.”

I think Maddie’s weaned, and it just
sort of happened.


For the past few months Maddie has been pretty much weaned anyway;
she’s been only nursing to go to bed, and then if she wakes
up crying in the middle of the night. She’d been a rather
good sleeper this fall, so it was only a nursing once or twice a
month in the wee hours.

So we headed off to meet Santa today. To fully understand the Santa Buildup Phenomenon, read yesterday’s post (which for some mysterious reason just showed up a couple hours ago). To summarize the Big Meeting, I offer you these few words:

She came. She saw. She cried.

Truly, what other ending could there have possibly been?

Maddie’s heading off to meet Santa
tomorrow. Well, they’ve actually met once before, but she was
only six months old and probably doesn’t remember him. So in
an effort to keep Maddie’s upcoming meeting with Santa from
devolving into a traumatic, frightful event, we’ve spent the
past week or so re-introducing her to the jolly guy, with some
interesting results.

This weekend we moved one step closer to
Christmas Preparedness: we got our tree.


And there’s nothing like having a toddler around to remind
you of just how weird the whole “tree in the house”
thing actually is.


I don’t know about you, but I spent a lot of my adult
childless life listening to people say, “There’s
nothing like having a child to show you the true joy of
Christmas.” They were trying to say that Christmas just
isn’t really fun until you watch a child go through Christmas
morning, and I couldn’t help but think how wrong they were.
Truly, I had a pretty good time waking up on Christmas morning,
walking out to see our heavily-laden tree filled to the brim with
gifts, and realizing all those gifts were for either me or my
husband.


In short, I was pretty happy not to share.

Maddie had her 18-month well-baby visit on
Wednesday and impressed the doctor with her cool; she kept a wary
eye on the doctor the whole time, but didn’t start crying
until it was shot time.


Ah, yes, did I mention the shots?

As I explained yesterday, I’ve
discovered a gaping hole in the chocolate world – an
unexplored area, if you will. Specifically, no one had really
delved into the world of chocolate from the point of view of a
pregnant or post-partum mommy.


As we all know, we’ve got specific cravings and wants when
the hormones are raging. So I made it my mission to find the best
of the best from small chocolatiers all across the country. For
more details on my criteria and how I narrowed the final list down,
see yesterday’s blog. But for now, let’s get to the
chocolate.

I have to make a couple disclaimers here:


First, if you don’t like chocolate, I’ll see you in a
couple days. Best to stop reading now.


Second, this research was done as a service to you, the readers. I
didn’t conduct it as an excuse to eat a lot of chocolate.


Ok, that second one may not be entirely true. But moving to the
point of this article –


I’m an admitted chocoholic. Worse than that, I’m a
snobby one – I love those expensive, dark chocolates with
fancy names and ridiculously high cocoa contents. When I was
pregnant with Madeleine, I remember being shocked and dismayed that
I spent my whole first trimester NOT WANTING CHOCOLATE. Honestly, I
thought it’d be the worst part of the pregnancy; how could I
be robbed of one of my biggest joys? But no matter how I tried, the
thought of chocolate didn’t get me excited.

This is going to be one of those blogs
Maddie hates when she becomes a teenager. I can almost hear the
cries – “Mo-om! Did you have to write about
that?” It’s also going to be a TMI blog if you’re
not into talking about body functions.


Since you’re a parent, I’m assuming you’re way
past that and this is fine.

So we’ve been “out of the
closet” with this second pregnancy for about two weeks now,
and have run through most of our daily friends and family. From
here on out, it’ll be the
running-into-the-casual-acquaintance scenario, where you
can’t casually bring it up without sounding self-centered so
you wait to tell such people until you’re visibly pregnant
and not just possibly getting heavier. I know you know what
I’m talking about.


I remember telling everyone during the first pregnancy, and how
excited we were to spread the news. We told parents and respective
best friends right away, then kept our cards close to our vest
until we hit that crucial 13-week check-up. You know, the one where
you hear and see the heartbeat and everyone breathes a sigh of
relief that it’s gone well so far. Man, those first three
months were hard to wait through. Several times I was tempted to
blurt it out to a friend or client – “I’m
pregnant! I’m sorry, what were you saying about your new
couch?” But I remembered my several friends who had
miscarriages during their first trimesters and couldn’t
imagine having to go through that painful explanation over and over
again.


So I kept quiet.

Just a head’s up that the weekly
poll is going to be, um, monthly I guess. I’m on a tight time
schedule with all the holiday baking and shopping and merriment
going on, so the pregnancy symptom poll will be staying up until
January. Feel free to keep voting, and I’ll let you know how
it turns out in a few weeks!

We’ve spent most of the week talking
about holiday gift ideas – shopping suggestions for both mom
and baby (and the occasional Dad gift thrown in as well!)


But what do you do if the holidays are breathing down your neck,
and the wallet’s a bit empty? Or where do you turn for gift
ideas for the family that truly has everything? Let’s dig
in.

As we continue this week’s series on
holiday shopping, I’m turning our attention beyond the toy
stores today; for toy recommendations see yesterday’s blog.


Toys are always appreciated (especially by the kids themselves!),
but there are other options out there that are fun, useful, and
don’t take up so much precious square footage.

This week I’m doing a series on
holiday gift ideas. I usually break my informative article series
up with alternating pieces about life with Maddie, but let’s
face it: the shopping clock’s ticking. So we’re moving
forward, and today’s attention is on toy shopping.


There’s a great website you can always refer to in a pinch:
href="http://www.toyportfolio.com/">Oppenheimer Toy
Portfolio. They rate toys by age range and I’ve
always found them to be right-on. It’s a great place to turn
if you’re overwhelmed. You’ll also find a few great
websites or catalogs and learn to trust the quality of those
stores. href="http://clickserve.cc-dt.com/link/tplclick?lid=41000000010845593&pubid=21000000000082989">
One Step Ahead href="http://www.constructiveplaythings.com">Constructive
Playthings href="http://www.sensationalbeginnings.com/">Sensational
Beginnings and href="http://www.fatbraintoys.com">Fat Brain Toys have
served me well.

Today I’m kicking off a series of
articles designed to make your holiday shopping a little easier.


Don’t worry; I’m not going to spend the next few days
telling you the “hot new toys” that your baby
“must have” or anything like that. But I am going to
try to steer you through the rocky waters of baby’s
Christmas. I realized last year that I had no idea what to tell the
grandparents Maddie wanted for Christmas; she certainly
wasn’t leaving any catalogs with circled items lying around.
And I had no idea what Maddie would like to play with until she
gave it a go!


So I did my typical obsessive mommy thing – I asked my focus
group for advice. They were so helpful that I returned to them for
her first birthday, getting great suggestions for toys she’d
quickly grow into that are worth the investment. Hence, these next
articles – passing on the wisdom I’ve gathered
together.


Keep in mind that these recommendations are purely anecdotal,
depending on what our kids have liked. There’s no scientific
research behind any of these suggestions beyond polling my friends.


And the best part of this week is that I’m going beyond toys.
I’ll cover toys by age group, other gifts for kids, and lest
we forget, gifts for mommies.


Which is where we start today – gifts for expectant and new
mommies. Scroll down, and enjoy. And remember two things: first,
you’re always welcome to turn to my href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=34#top">
Top 5s page for suggestions on gear, clothing, and more;
and second, you can always email an article to someone! Say, a
spouse!

Some of you may be puzzled that I’m
starting off the article series on holiday shopping with
suggestions for you, but let’s face it: once baby shows up,
you move from being the center of attention to the Glorified Diaper
Bag Carrier. So let’s give ourselves some front-and-center
time!

Obviously, I can’t make personalized
suggestions for you all as to what you’d most like to see
under your tree. I’d say that you should make it clear to
your loved ones if you don’t want anything mommy- or
baby-related, or you may end up with a stocking full of Buy Buy
Baby gift cards. But speaking as a pregnant mommy with a toddler at
home, I enjoy a bit of mommy-related gifts. And of course, I love
clothes. So I’m listing my favorite sites to find pregnancy
and post-partum clothing that goes beyond practicals, beyond Gap
Maternity, beyond those comfortable, “useful” black
pants that grow with you and go with anything. Want maternity
clothing recommendations in general? Check my href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=14&Itemid=34">
Top 5s Page.

We’re back from our Thanksgiving
trip to visit family, and the one thing I can say with certainty is
that nothing went as we originally planned.


One day before we headed out, my grandmother died. Though this was
not entirely unexpected, I was devastated: my grandmother meant a
lot to me and I will miss her very much.

(Note: I originally wrote this entry a
month ago; I’m catching you up on my first trimester!)

I’m starting week ten in this
pregnancy, and that’s the only word for it –
harder.

I know I mentioned in an earlier blog that
I didn’t have morning sickness with my first pregnancy.
I’ve not hit the actual puking point in this one, but
I’m definitely dealing with on-the-edge nausea and managing
that seems to take up an inordinate amount of time.

(Note: I originally wrote this entry a
couple months ago – I’m catching you up on my first
trimester!)

Six weeks pregnant, and boy how different
the second time around is. I feel like I’m seriously
spreading, in every sense of the word.

Weight-wise, I seem to be at the same
place I was at six weeks into my first pregnancy, but boy does my
body look different. My old friend the Spare Tire has returned with
a vengeance. Remember that point in the pregnancy where you just
look dumpy? Well, I’m there.

How can my body look this different if my
weight’s the same? I tell you, my body’s embracing this
pregnancy like a long-lost Barkalounger – “Ah, there
you are, you comfortable thing you!”

(Note: I'm actually three months pregnant
right now. The following entry was originally written a couple
months ago, and I'm catching you up!)


So I’m pregnant again. Almost five weeks. I’ve
officially known for one day now, but I’ve suspected since
the very beginning, and known for sure since I went shopping two
days ago. You know how you can tell when you’re gaining
weight? And you see it start to appear in all the usual places?
Well pregnancy weight is a bit different. I mean, I’m on
vacation, so I’ve been sampling the local desserts somewhat
regularly, but that only accounts for a pound or two of
bikini-stretching. As I tried on clothing at the outlet mall the
other day, I realized I felt much heavier, much faster, than
chocolate explained. I pulled on a pair of pants in my usual size.
No go – in fact, laughably off base. I’d expected a bit
tight, but this . . . we’re talking barely pulling over the
hips. Then my eyes journeyed down from my waist and I saw-


Those thighs! I recognize those thighs! I haven’t seen those
thighs for over a year!

As you may have figured out from some of
my recent article topics, I’m pregnant again. I’ve just
completed my third month and have officially been given the OK by
my doctor to make it public. So there you go!


I’m pregnant!

So Madeleine’s hit this stage that I
can only pray is early-onset Terrible Twos. She’s discovered
she has a will of her own, and her choice does not always coincide
with Mommy’s choice. This makes for some very very very long
days. See, the more Madeleine understands what I’m saying,
the more I try to explain what we’re doing and why; I’m
making an effort to include her in our day rather than throw her
around like a parcel from place to place. The good side is that she
understands pretty much everything I’m saying; the bad side
is that she now feels free to disagree.

The week that the whole family was sick
recently, none of us felt like cooking. Even after our appetites
returned and we moved off of bland rice diets, mustering up a meal
from scratch seemed beyond our capabilities. If it hadn’t
been for the fact that I’m an obsessive food hoarder and had
a freezer full of “emergency” casseroles and sauces,
we’d have spent a fortune on takeout. As it is, I simply have
an empty freezer and have to start building up again.


I’m lucky, I know – I’m naturally organized and
enjoy cooking. I’m a good cook and don’t mind spending
time in the kitchen. Put that with an affinity for planning ahead,
making double recipes for sick friends or
“emergencies”, and I’m rarely without a meal
close at hand. If you’re not like me, you’re sending me
hateful thoughts right now and wishing I’d shut up. But the
good news is, help is on the way.

Unless you’ve been living under a
rock with no television for the past few months, I’m sure
you’re aware of the latest, must-have Elmo for this holiday
season – the TMX Elmo. Celebrating Tickle Me Elmo’s
10th anniversary, this version leaves all other Tickle Me’s
in the dust. He falls over. He screams with laughter. He rolls on
his side, kicking and screaming. And then he stands up and begs you
not to tickle him again.


Given our daughter’s current href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=412&Itemid=46">
obsession (thanks one more time Uncle Daniel) with the
Red Guy, and the fact that we saw a TMX “performance”
online and thought it was pretty dang funny ourselves, Brian and I
cautiously jumped on the TMX bandwagon. We decided we’d keep
our eyes open for one, though we drew the line at paying above
retail price: no buys on Ebay, we vowed. We joined forces with my
friend Ingrid, who was also searching for a TMX for her daughter
Naomi. The two of us agreed to keep our ears open, and whoever
found them first would buy for both of us, if possible.

This week’s poll is up and running,
and I’m asking you to go back and visit the not-so-fun
memories of your pregnancy.


What was your biggest pregnancy “symptom”? Nausea the
whole nine months? Fatigue? Back pain? All of the above? I want to
know!


As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side of my
home page underneath the different category buttons. You
don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and
submit to have your voice heard!

For last week’s poll, I asked when
you first began putting anything “extra” –
blankets, stuffed animals, and so forth – into baby’s
crib. Fully half of you waited at least a year, while the rest of
you either had the crib filled from birth or waited about six
months.


We fell on the more cautious end of the scale – I think
Maddie was a good nine months before we began adding a blanket into
her crib. Up until that point, she slept in one of those sleep
sacks every night – on of the best inventions ever, in my
opinion. But right around nine months I realized that 1) it
wasn’t so much a sack anymore – Maddie’s feet
were stretching out the bottom of the garment, rather than allowing
it to hang loose like a blanket; and 2) since Maddie was pulling
herself up to standing, especially in the crib, it was only a
matter of time before she tried to walk in it, tripped, fell, and
had a traumatic moment. So we nervously introduced the blanket. And
to be honest, she’d been sleeping under the blanket for a
couple months before that during nap times – just never the
full night.

Yesterday we talked about traveling with
infants who are not yet mobile: babies who have not yet started
crawling, cruising, walking, etc.


In short, kids you can still muscle around and dominate relatively
easily.


Today we’re going to cover the munchkins who have, shall we
say, a will of their own and way to go about exercising it.

With the holidays fast approaching –especially that Family Gathering Marathon, Thanksgiving – I thought I’d write up some things I’ve learned about traveling with young children. Much of this was passed on to me by my Mommy Focus Group when I first started flying with Madeleine, but some of this was learned the hard way. For the purposes of simplicity, I’m splitting kids into two groups – babies who aren’t mobile and toddlers who are. So I’d apply this article to anyone just barely crawling or younger; tomorrow I’ll cover getting around with mobile kids.

First, the good news. Traveling with a newborn, while daunting, is actually easier than traveling with an older baby or toddler. Newborns and young infants sleep a lot and you don’t have any meal or snack planning to take into account.

The bad news, though, is that young infants are wildly unpredictable, aren’t usually on a schedule yet that you can plan around, and generally have the potential to make the trip a nightmare for your whole family and a plane full of strangers.

So last year Maddie href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=216&Itemid=46">
refused to wear mittens. She loved the cold weather
(freak) and didn’t want anything more getting between her and
nature. Her naked little hands became so famous in the neighborhood
that the mailman took to calling her the Mittenless Wonder.


For some naïve reason, I thought this year would be
different.

This week's poll is up and running and
all about baby's crib.


With new info on SIDS being released this week, I was wondering
when everyone first started trusting baby in the crib with
potential suffocating hazards like a blanket. Did you go with the
crib filler from week one? Wait a few months? Wait a year? I want
to know!



As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side of my
home page underneath the different category buttons. You
don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and
submit to have your voice heard!

I’ve finally had a chance to look at
the results from my most recent poll – What was baby’s
first word?

And it’s good to know I’m not
the only one who got left in the dust.

Overwhelmingly, “Dada” was
baby’s first word, with “Mama” coming in a
distant second.

Before I got pregnant, everyone told me
baby’s first word is usually “mama”; I assumed it
was because that’s the person baby’s around the most.
After I had Maddie, though, the truth came out. I had mom after mom
confess to me that baby’s first word was
“dada”.

Why didn’t anyone admit to this
earlier?

The sun is shining, the sky is bright, and
my child feels better.


I have to tell you, last week was no picnic whatsoever, and we were
hit with a simple cold. I can’t imagine if the family had
been down with the flu or some ickier virus.


I was about 24 hours ahead of Maddie, with Brian following maybe
two days behind her, so we were good and spread out on the sick
scale. And Maddie and I have had a cold together once before, a
couple months ago, but let me tell you – this was way
worse.

Hey fellow moms.


Sorry I'm quiet right now - we're all three down sick with a very
nasty cold, and don't have much time to write. Up all night,
entertaining a crabby 16-month-old all day. Hopefully I'll be back
up and posting tomorrow!

First off, I’m leaving last
week’s poll up for another week, and we’ll talk about
baby’s first words next Monday. I’m dealing with a sick
kid here and am too tired to think of anything else.


Yes, Maddie’s definitely got a cold, as evidenced by a
sleepless night for the whole family last night; Maddie would whine
fitfully for a couple minutes, fall silent for 10-15 minutes, and
then whine again. All night. Poor lambie was so stuffed up she
simply couldn’t get comfortable and get to sleep. Around 5
a.m. it turned to a more insistent cry, so we went in for a little
damage control and comforting.


While Maddie and I snuggled in the rocking chair having a bottle of
milk, Daddy put a bed pillow under the mattress at one end of
Maddie’s crib, so that when she lay back down her head would
be elevated. In the past, we’ve simply raised the mattress
setting one notch instead on one end, but didn’t have the
time or, frankly, the motor skills at 5 a.m. to do that. So when
she went back to bed – 11 books and a bottle of milk and an
hour later – she was able to fall asleep for a couple
hours.

Maddie and I seem to be coming down with a
cold, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow (hopefully) to hear
the current poll results as I take a bit of a sick day.


Meanwhile, my brother sent me a link to href="http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=domesticNews&storyID=2006-10-19T210728Z_01_N19206647_RTRUKOC_0_US-LIFE-NANNIES.xml&src=101906_1831_ARTICLE_PROMO_also_on_reuters">
this article and I'm interested in your opinion. What
do you think of women who put "How's My Nanny" bumperstickers on
their strollers, in the hopes that strangers will contact them with
reports of negligence? Does this seem to be a great way to keep an
extra eye on your baby, or a sign you don't trust your caregiver?
If you were a nanny, would this insult you?


I have to confess, I'd feel insulted if I were a nanny; on the
other hand, I've often longed for a phone number to be printed
across the foreheads of some of the tots I see on the playground,
so their moms could hear how poorly they are treated by their
nannies.


What do you think?

For the past few Fridays, I’ve been
talking about the finer points of life on the playground. target="_blank"
href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=417&Itemid=46">
Two weeks ago I discussed the kinds of moms and dads you
can expect to run into during play time; href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=423&Itemid=46">
last week I gave some practical tips for navigating
swing time.


This week, we’re all about the most delicate part of getting
around the playground – dealing with other people’s
kids.


One of the most frustrating aspects of playground time is how much
you interact with other children, and how little control you have
over them. Not all parents have the same opinions on child-rearing
that you do, and keeping your child safe and happy during play time
without getting into a fight with a caregiver can be very tricky
sometimes. And if you live in an area like I do where English is
not the primary language and there’s a collision of cultures
– you hear much more Spanish, Hindustani, and Romanian most
days than you do English – then you feel even more on your
guard.

I’ve noticed over the past few
months that Maddie’s transitioned from a fearless,
why-not-try-everything baby into an anxious, jumpy toddler. Having
something scare her wouldn’t be so bad in itself; it’s
important for her to learn that there is danger out there. But
whereas she once had a baby memory –easy in, easy out, and
it’s forgotten in five minutes – now she’s got
Toddler Elephant Memory, and she won’t let go.

Recently Maddie’s been mimicking one
more thing Mommy does – taking care of Baby.


A couple weeks ago, Brian noticed Maddie walking around with her
baby doll, sounding unhappy. She was holding Baby Doll up to her
shoulder, making a steady, whimery/whiney kind of noise.


Brian said, “Maddie? Are you OK?”


Maddie looked at him, put her finger to her lips, and said,
“Shhhh.”


Apparently Baby Doll was crying, and Maddie was comforting her. A
few pats on the back, and Baby Doll was all better: Maddie smiled,
said “Dah!!” and threw the dolly down on the floor,
walking away.

OK, so I’ve got a Bad Mommy
confession to make.


Actually, not a Bad Mommy confession as much as a Bad Owner
confession.


You know how my daughter simply LOVES Kitty? Can’t get enough
of her? And Kitty, while in some way flattered, can only take
Maddie in small doses?


I’ve been feeling rundown and tired with seasonal allergies,
and Maddie with her new “Up!” command was really
wearing me down. I couldn’t get the dishwasher emptied, lunch
cleaned up, dinner started, anything. She was in a real
“Mommy! Attention!” mode.


I needed a break, ok? Anywhere I could get it.

With several different girlfriends in
various stages of pregnancy, the topic of morning sickness seems to
be never far from the table. So last week’s poll was an
attempt to glean a bit of wisdom from you gals, and give my
mommies-to-be the comforting news that they aren’t alone.


If there’s one thing the poll showed, it’s that every
pregnancy is different. Out of six possible answers, the votes were
split completely evenly between five of them. Of course there were
those people who didn’t get morning sickness at all; we try
not to be envious and move on.


But as for the rest, it’s whatever works, baby. Some said
managing their diet and getting enough exercise kept the morning
sickness under control. Other moms just gritted their teeth and
counted down the puking days until 14 weeks and they were out of
the first trimester. There were moms who said they ate whatever
they could possibly keep down, healthy or balanced or not, while
still others said they ate as little as possible to avoid throwing
up more.

This week’s poll is up and running,
and talk about chatty cathys!


What was your baby’s first word? Mama? Dada? Don’t
remember? I want to know!


As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side of my
home page underneath the different category buttons. You
don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and
submit to have your voice heard!

href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=417&Itemid=46">
Last week I talked about the kind of moms and dads you
can expect to run into on the playground, and how to deal with
them.


This week, I thought I’d give you a few practical guidelines
for getting around the blacktop.


For you see, there are a few rules that most every parent
acknowledges – even unconsciously – to keep playground
time safe and fair. There are, of course, those parents who choose
to ignore those rules, but newcomers often simply don’t know
better until they’ve been there a while and gotten the lay of
the land. So here’s a brief rundown –

This past weekend we drove to visit my new
nephew – 5 weeks old and counting – and of course see
my brother and his wife as well. It’s a six-hour drive that
we haven’t done since Maddie was 8 ½ months, and I
have to confess that I was nervous about the twelve hours in a car
over two days.


Silly me.


As if we could make it in six hours now that Maddie’s
mobile.

I'm back from a three-day weekend visiting my new nephew (more
on that later), and finally have a chance to check in on last
week's poll and how you deal with the Diaper Bag Dilemma.


Almost half of you have only one bag, which also acts as your
purse. A few confessed to being a diaper bag addict , the new
accessory obsession for mommies, while a couple of you said you've
got a few bags that you choose from depending on how long you''ll
be gone. And one person admitted to carrying a diaper bag and
separate purse, and feeling like a pack mule.

I’m back from a three-day weekend visiting my new nephew (more on that
later), and finally have a chance to check in on last week’s poll – how
you deal with the Diaper Bag Dilemma.

Almost half of you have
only one bag, which also acts as your purse. A few confessed to being a
diaper bag addict – the new accessory obsession for mommies– while a
couple of you said you’ve got a few bags that you choose from depending
on how long you’ll be gone. And one person admitted to carrying a
diaper bag and separate purse, and feeling like a pack mule.

This week’s poll is up and running, and sure to bring back not-so-fond
memories.

I’m wondering how you handled morning sickness while
you were pregnant. Do you try any old wives’ remedy you could get your
hands on? Keep your head down and count the days until your second
trimester? Were you able to manage it with diet and exercise? Did you
give in to your cravings? Did you not have morning sickness? I want to
know!

As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side
of my home page underneath the different category buttons. You don’t
need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have
your voice heard!

 Maddie and I have been hitting the playground regularly since late spring and I can honestly say it’s an amazingly complex place to hang out. Having become, if not a pro, at least a seasoned veteran of the Urban Jungle Gym, I thought I’d pass on what I’ve learned; I’ve also culled tips and comments from my mommy focus group, and hopefully all this will make your initial forays into the playground a little easier to handle.

So yesterday afternoon a small plane crashed into an apartment building here in New York. We all immediately assumed terrorists, of course, and everyone had flashbacks to where they were and how they felt on September 11. As of this writing it was determined to be non-terrorist – simply a tragic accident involving a novice pilot and his instructor.

For a couple hours, though, it was up in the air, and my instinctive reaction was, “This is just the beginning.” Attacking a relatively small (50 story) apartment building didn’t fit the terrorist MO, so I was almost assuming a larger attack was imminent, probably around rush hour. Since I was home and Brian works from home, we were safe, but he was due to head into the city during rush hour to lead a worship service.

Without even asking me, Brian called and said he wouldn’t make it. Was he afraid to travel? No. He simply knew I’d worry the whole time. After 9/11, which he was in the middle of, I was nervous any time he was out of my sight for several weeks. And that was before we became parents. 

In Maddie’s newfound fascination with all things grown-up, her biggest obsession is the telephone.

She’s long enjoyed the cell-phone as an accessory, packing an old one in her “purse” and periodically taking it out, tucking it between her ear and shoulder, and walking around shouting. But for the past month or two she’s realized that when Mommy and Daddy do that, there’s a Real Live Voice talking back to them, and now nothing less will do.

Sometimes Maddie simply wants to expound on a subject and doesn’t really need feedback, and in those instances she’ll grab whatever’s handy – her plastic phone, Elmo, whatever – pretend it’s a phone, and begin lecturing. More often than not, though, she’s looking for a two-way conversation and there’d better be someone around willing to deliver.

We’re going through a point of astonishing physical development with Maddie, in more ways than one.

First off, her body has sprung up, seemingly overnight. Our last doctor’s visit showed that while her weight stayed in the 15th percentile, her height had jumped to the 75th! She’s walking around in either bell-bottom pants that fit around the waist, or pants that are long enough but show half her diaper as they swim around her middle. Suddenly she’s reaching the tops of counters with her hands, easily pulling off any dish or food in her way.

But even more than her physical development, her motor skills are suddenly in fast-forward. 

This week’s poll is up and running, and I’m snooping into your bags.

I’m interested in how you solve the Diaper Bag Dilemma: do you have one bag, that also acts as your purse? Do you have a couple different diaper bags of different sizes, depending on how long you’ll be gone from the house? Do you have an array of diaper bags simply to change out as your accessory? Do you simply stuff an extra diaper and Ziploc of wipes into your purse and call it a day? I want to know!

As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side of my home page underneath the different category buttons. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

Last week’s poll results are in, and it’s an animated world, after all.

I asked who your child’s favorite character is, and we had a four-way tie between Dora the Explorer, Winnie the Pooh, Elmo, and “other”. As for our household, we fall squarely into the “Elmo” category.

But not without a fight. 

Brian and I have been talking recently about siblings for Madeleine, and what sort of “spacing” between them we’d ideally like to see. We’re both going through a renewed love affair with Maddie right now; just thinking about her makes either one of us break into a goofy grin. She’s such a great kid, and I mentioned to Brian that one of the things holding me back is my concern for Maddie.

Before you stop reading this and type up an email listing the “dangers” of having an only child, let me say that we’re not planning on making Maddie an only child. I know all the benefits and we’re eager to see what kind of big sister she’ll be. But let me tell you something: any parent of a single child who says they don’t have any fears about loving subsequent children less than their firstborn is totally lying. 

Remember how Madeleine was throwing up this past weekend?

Tuesday she was a bit clingy, a bit needy, with a very low fever. I thought it was teething, gave her Motrin at bedtime, and dismissed it. Wednesday morning she refused breakfast, which I again dismissed as no big deal because I’d gotten her up a bit early for a well-baby doctor’s visit.

Yeah, you can see this coming, can’t you.

In case you didn’t know, my nephew Dean was born recently! I’ve been waiting to say something until I had some photos to go with it.

And on that subject – honestly, John, sleep deprivation is no excuse. Should have had a link to Snapfish or something by now. But I’ll let it slide this time.

So here’s a picture of the cutie; the cammo is a nod to his maternal uncle, currently stationed in Iraq. I’m impressed that at even just a couple weeks old, he already has more hair than my daughter. As for Maddie, she’s very eager to teach Dean some tricks she’s learned along the way – how to throw a tantrum, how to pretend not to understand what “no” means, and so on. 

Warning: this blog is not for the faint of stomach. But then, neither is much of parenthood.

This past weekend, we went away for a lovely church retreat. Bucolic hillsides, changing trees painted with oranges and scarlets, apple picking: all the earmarks of a lovely and peaceful family weekend.

And to be fair, the first day was great. Madeleine saw for the first time a wide expanse of green we call “grass” (remember – city kid) and, after her initial fear, took to it like cows to, well, grass. She’d climb up a gentle hill slope; run down it shrieking and screaming with glee while holding Daddy’s hands, feet barely touching the ground; rest a few minutes at the bottom, panting; then turn and trudge determinedly back up the hill. We walked near a small stream, we chalked outside with other kids, we did it all.

And then the nighttime came. 

This week’s poll is up and running, and is quite a popularity contest.

Who
or what is your child’s favorite cartoon character? Elmo? Dora? Bob the
Builder? I want to know!

As usual, the poll will be up all week
on my home page, on the right hand side below all the navigation
buttons. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click
and submit to have your voice heard! 

Last week I polled you all on sign language: do you use it? How often?
If not, why not?

Interestingly enough, 80% of respondents
answered unanimously – you’ve taught a few key signs, but don’t knock
yourself out to teach baby a whole new language. The other 20% who
answered said they don’t use sign language on purpose, fearing it will
slow down speech development.

Brian and I spoke about teaching
Madeleine sign language before she was born. It seemed like an ideal
answer to alleviating a child’s frustration at her inability to
communicate effectively. As we asked around, we met people who swore by
it, and people who mentioned their concern that learning to sign would
delay speech; after all, why struggle to talk when you can already make
your needs known? 

There’s nothing like a toddler in your life to remind you that there’s more than one way to view a situation.

Maddie and I were walking home from the park recently when a car alarm went off across the street. Now, Maddie’s no stranger to car alarms; this is New York, after all. So I was surprised that she became very agitated as the alarm continued to go off. I encouraged her to keep walking past it, trying to hurry without making it look like I was panicking. I was assuming the alarm was making her nervous, and wanted to keep her calm.

Before I became pregnant, I never really used to notice babies and
children in the world around me. Sure, I’d hear the occasional toddler
meltdown at the grocery store – accompanied by a line of fastidious
faux-compassionate smiles from annoyed non-parents – and I’d notice a
cute baby cooing happily on the subway. But there didn’t seem to be
that many of them.


Once pregnant, though, it’s as if there was some veil lifted from my
eyes – babies everywhere! Burstingly pregnant women walking up the
stairs, tired and cranky infants being pushed in their strollers,
aromatic toddlers with an obviously full diaper; they all seemed to jump
out of the woodwork at me. I guess I had just never really noticed them
before.

In the same way, before I had Maddie I’d see an
unaccompanied adult and assume they were childless. I mean permanently
childless, not simply missing one of their kids. I don’t know; I guess
I assumed circumstances on people because they were my circumstances.
Make sense?

Now that I’m a parent, though, I’m realizing that a
very large percentage of the adult world is made up of people with
children. I know, sounds pretty self-evident, but it was rather
revelatory to me. And nowhere was it so evident – or so appreciated –
as when we were on vacation. 

I can’t believe that summer’s already officially over. (Yes, I know it’s almost October, but I’ve been on vacation. Cut me some slack.) As we went into the season, Maddie was cruising like a pro but not yet walking unassisted. She was weeks away from her first birthday, still shy on the playground, and had never been left with anyone other than a family member.

I remember looking at the summer months stretching out before me and thinking of all I wanted to do with my daughter. I saw her birthday as some sort of milestone that would release us into this whole new world – one where she became comfortable hanging out with other kids, became weaned, and became more confident in herself. I wanted to find a way to move Maddie to the next step – socialization. 

  I already posted today’s regular entry (see below), but I have to jot this mommy tip down while I’m thinking about it. I know, I did a slew of babyproofing entries several months ago when kiddo became mobile. But she’s recently grown, which means she stands taller in her crib, which means she can now turn the light in her room on and off. And on. And off. And on. The only thing that gives it away, as a matter of fact, is her breathy laughter on the baby monitor as she tries to do it quietly and not draw attention to herself.

Or the light cutting in and out under her door.

So after a huge Internet search I finally found a baby lock for light switches. Apparently there’s not a big market for them, since most sites had gadgets to make light switches more accessible to toddlers. I shudder. At any rate, if you’ve got a kiddo who can reach a light switch, or if you want to baby proof a danger area like the switch to the garbage disposal, here’s the tool for you – the Safety First Switch Lock Guard.

We got it, installed it, love it.

Maddie hates it.

Just wanted to pass it on to you . . .

I hate to admit it, but I’m still waking up most mornings and wishing I were back in my luxury resort. I need a few moments to reorient myself, to realize that no, there is no room service bringing us our fresh waffles, and yes, I do have to do the laundry.

But in many ways it’s great to be back. As much as Maddie loved her new experiences and plush surroundings, she’s pretty ecstatic to be back in her controlled environment. Her shout of glee at seeing her bouncy horse when we entered the house for the first time was topped only by the uncontrollable squeals that escaped her when she first laid eyes on her beloved playground.

And as much as I loved having so much taken care of for me on vacation, I’m happy to be back in the saddle, holding the reins of this family. Our vacation was our first foray into The Real World – the one where I can’t control how much light is coming into baby girl’s room, or guarantee that she’ll have fresh steamed veggies for dinner. One of my biggest apprehensions about our trip was that precise lack of control – my inability to dominate most aspects of my daughter’s surroundings. 

This week’s poll is up and running, and is all about speaking without words.

How do you feel about teaching your baby sign language? Does it seem pretentious and pointless to you? Have you read up on a few key signs, but are staying pretty laid back about it? Did you introduce baby to her first sign language DVD at 6 weeks old? I want to know!

As always, the poll will be up all week on my homepage, right-hand side below all the category buttons. You don’t have to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to make your voice heard!

Our most recent poll focused on preschool and the options we’ve got as parents of infants and toddlers. A full fifty percent of you said you’ll be sending your child to preschool around age 3 or 4, mostly for socialization reasons. The rest of you split down the line evenly, with some opting to save money and not start an organized school until kindergarten, some working to get their children into the “right” preschool as the first step towards the “right” college, and one mom even admitting that the sooner her child was in preschool, the sooner she’d finally have some time back for herself. (I feel you, girlfriend!)

Interestingly enough, I posted this poll a few weeks ago, before heading off on vacation, and my girlfriend Abby did a guest post while I was gone about her son Isaiah starting preschool last week. At 3 ½ (I can’t bring myself to think of him as an almost-four-year-old yet), Isaiah’s right in the middle age of kids starting preschool. If you’ve read Abby’s blogs, you know she’s helping launch a new preschool in her area so she’s a big supporter of them. Originally worried about how Isaiah would do at his twice-weekly school, Abby now worries that it doesn’t meet frequently enough to suit him! 

I know it's a long shot that you came across my business card for this
site and decided to check it out, but I figured it's worth a try since
you stole it from my stroller at the playground today.

There are
a couple important things you should know:

First, the cards have
all been canceled, and a credit fraud alert issued to the three main
credit reporting bureaus.

Second, I've filed a police report.

Third,
I'd really like my driver's license back. It's tough to get my girlie
around without it. Feel free to anonymously email me
(jennifer@1mother2another.com) and I'll email back my PO box address.
I'm not interested in chasing you down, I promise; I just want the
license.

Fourth, I forgive you. I hope you truly needed it and
that the $20 in there helped you. I wish you would have felt like you
could have asked me for help.

Jennifer 

For those of you who requested photos of Maddie on vacation, I've got some posted in the entry below, and I've also uploaded several more to my frontpage rotating photo gallery. What comes up is random, so simply click on the picture that appears to see everything in her gallery.

Enjoy! 

 I’ve just dumped all the vacation photos from my digital camera, and can’t believe how much we crammed into twelve short days. Maddie experienced things that some people go their whole lives without ever enjoying, and has a huge list of “firsts” to add to her diary, including: