1 Mother 2 Another

First off, I’m leaving last
week’s poll up for another week, and we’ll talk about
baby’s first words next Monday. I’m dealing with a sick
kid here and am too tired to think of anything else.


Yes, Maddie’s definitely got a cold, as evidenced by a
sleepless night for the whole family last night; Maddie would whine
fitfully for a couple minutes, fall silent for 10-15 minutes, and
then whine again. All night. Poor lambie was so stuffed up she
simply couldn’t get comfortable and get to sleep. Around 5
a.m. it turned to a more insistent cry, so we went in for a little
damage control and comforting.


While Maddie and I snuggled in the rocking chair having a bottle of
milk, Daddy put a bed pillow under the mattress at one end of
Maddie’s crib, so that when she lay back down her head would
be elevated. In the past, we’ve simply raised the mattress
setting one notch instead on one end, but didn’t have the
time or, frankly, the motor skills at 5 a.m. to do that. So when
she went back to bed – 11 books and a bottle of milk and an
hour later – she was able to fall asleep for a couple
hours.

Maddie and I seem to be coming down with a
cold, so you'll have to wait until tomorrow (hopefully) to hear
the current poll results as I take a bit of a sick day.


Meanwhile, my brother sent me a link to href="http://today.reuters.com/news/articlenews.aspx?type=domesticNews&storyID=2006-10-19T210728Z_01_N19206647_RTRUKOC_0_US-LIFE-NANNIES.xml&src=101906_1831_ARTICLE_PROMO_also_on_reuters">
this article and I'm interested in your opinion. What
do you think of women who put "How's My Nanny" bumperstickers on
their strollers, in the hopes that strangers will contact them with
reports of negligence? Does this seem to be a great way to keep an
extra eye on your baby, or a sign you don't trust your caregiver?
If you were a nanny, would this insult you?


I have to confess, I'd feel insulted if I were a nanny; on the
other hand, I've often longed for a phone number to be printed
across the foreheads of some of the tots I see on the playground,
so their moms could hear how poorly they are treated by their
nannies.


What do you think?

For the past few Fridays, I’ve been
talking about the finer points of life on the playground. target="_blank"
href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=417&Itemid=46">
Two weeks ago I discussed the kinds of moms and dads you
can expect to run into during play time; href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=423&Itemid=46">
last week I gave some practical tips for navigating
swing time.


This week, we’re all about the most delicate part of getting
around the playground – dealing with other people’s
kids.


One of the most frustrating aspects of playground time is how much
you interact with other children, and how little control you have
over them. Not all parents have the same opinions on child-rearing
that you do, and keeping your child safe and happy during play time
without getting into a fight with a caregiver can be very tricky
sometimes. And if you live in an area like I do where English is
not the primary language and there’s a collision of cultures
– you hear much more Spanish, Hindustani, and Romanian most
days than you do English – then you feel even more on your
guard.

I’ve noticed over the past few
months that Maddie’s transitioned from a fearless,
why-not-try-everything baby into an anxious, jumpy toddler. Having
something scare her wouldn’t be so bad in itself; it’s
important for her to learn that there is danger out there. But
whereas she once had a baby memory –easy in, easy out, and
it’s forgotten in five minutes – now she’s got
Toddler Elephant Memory, and she won’t let go.

Recently Maddie’s been mimicking one
more thing Mommy does – taking care of Baby.


A couple weeks ago, Brian noticed Maddie walking around with her
baby doll, sounding unhappy. She was holding Baby Doll up to her
shoulder, making a steady, whimery/whiney kind of noise.


Brian said, “Maddie? Are you OK?”


Maddie looked at him, put her finger to her lips, and said,
“Shhhh.”


Apparently Baby Doll was crying, and Maddie was comforting her. A
few pats on the back, and Baby Doll was all better: Maddie smiled,
said “Dah!!” and threw the dolly down on the floor,
walking away.

OK, so I’ve got a Bad Mommy
confession to make.


Actually, not a Bad Mommy confession as much as a Bad Owner
confession.


You know how my daughter simply LOVES Kitty? Can’t get enough
of her? And Kitty, while in some way flattered, can only take
Maddie in small doses?


I’ve been feeling rundown and tired with seasonal allergies,
and Maddie with her new “Up!” command was really
wearing me down. I couldn’t get the dishwasher emptied, lunch
cleaned up, dinner started, anything. She was in a real
“Mommy! Attention!” mode.


I needed a break, ok? Anywhere I could get it.

With several different girlfriends in
various stages of pregnancy, the topic of morning sickness seems to
be never far from the table. So last week’s poll was an
attempt to glean a bit of wisdom from you gals, and give my
mommies-to-be the comforting news that they aren’t alone.


If there’s one thing the poll showed, it’s that every
pregnancy is different. Out of six possible answers, the votes were
split completely evenly between five of them. Of course there were
those people who didn’t get morning sickness at all; we try
not to be envious and move on.


But as for the rest, it’s whatever works, baby. Some said
managing their diet and getting enough exercise kept the morning
sickness under control. Other moms just gritted their teeth and
counted down the puking days until 14 weeks and they were out of
the first trimester. There were moms who said they ate whatever
they could possibly keep down, healthy or balanced or not, while
still others said they ate as little as possible to avoid throwing
up more.

This week’s poll is up and running,
and talk about chatty cathys!


What was your baby’s first word? Mama? Dada? Don’t
remember? I want to know!


As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side of my
home page underneath the different category buttons. You
don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and
submit to have your voice heard!

href="http://www.1mother2another.com/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=417&Itemid=46">
Last week I talked about the kind of moms and dads you
can expect to run into on the playground, and how to deal with
them.


This week, I thought I’d give you a few practical guidelines
for getting around the blacktop.


For you see, there are a few rules that most every parent
acknowledges – even unconsciously – to keep playground
time safe and fair. There are, of course, those parents who choose
to ignore those rules, but newcomers often simply don’t know
better until they’ve been there a while and gotten the lay of
the land. So here’s a brief rundown –

This past weekend we drove to visit my new
nephew – 5 weeks old and counting – and of course see
my brother and his wife as well. It’s a six-hour drive that
we haven’t done since Maddie was 8 ½ months, and I
have to confess that I was nervous about the twelve hours in a car
over two days.


Silly me.


As if we could make it in six hours now that Maddie’s
mobile.

I'm back from a three-day weekend visiting my new nephew (more
on that later), and finally have a chance to check in on last
week's poll and how you deal with the Diaper Bag Dilemma.


Almost half of you have only one bag, which also acts as your
purse. A few confessed to being a diaper bag addict , the new
accessory obsession for mommies, while a couple of you said you've
got a few bags that you choose from depending on how long you''ll
be gone. And one person admitted to carrying a diaper bag and
separate purse, and feeling like a pack mule.

I’m back from a three-day weekend visiting my new nephew (more on that
later), and finally have a chance to check in on last week’s poll – how
you deal with the Diaper Bag Dilemma.

Almost half of you have
only one bag, which also acts as your purse. A few confessed to being a
diaper bag addict – the new accessory obsession for mommies– while a
couple of you said you’ve got a few bags that you choose from depending
on how long you’ll be gone. And one person admitted to carrying a
diaper bag and separate purse, and feeling like a pack mule.

This week’s poll is up and running, and sure to bring back not-so-fond
memories.

I’m wondering how you handled morning sickness while
you were pregnant. Do you try any old wives’ remedy you could get your
hands on? Keep your head down and count the days until your second
trimester? Were you able to manage it with diet and exercise? Did you
give in to your cravings? Did you not have morning sickness? I want to
know!

As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side
of my home page underneath the different category buttons. You don’t
need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have
your voice heard!

 Maddie and I have been hitting the playground regularly since late spring and I can honestly say it’s an amazingly complex place to hang out. Having become, if not a pro, at least a seasoned veteran of the Urban Jungle Gym, I thought I’d pass on what I’ve learned; I’ve also culled tips and comments from my mommy focus group, and hopefully all this will make your initial forays into the playground a little easier to handle.

So yesterday afternoon a small plane crashed into an apartment building here in New York. We all immediately assumed terrorists, of course, and everyone had flashbacks to where they were and how they felt on September 11. As of this writing it was determined to be non-terrorist – simply a tragic accident involving a novice pilot and his instructor.

For a couple hours, though, it was up in the air, and my instinctive reaction was, “This is just the beginning.” Attacking a relatively small (50 story) apartment building didn’t fit the terrorist MO, so I was almost assuming a larger attack was imminent, probably around rush hour. Since I was home and Brian works from home, we were safe, but he was due to head into the city during rush hour to lead a worship service.

Without even asking me, Brian called and said he wouldn’t make it. Was he afraid to travel? No. He simply knew I’d worry the whole time. After 9/11, which he was in the middle of, I was nervous any time he was out of my sight for several weeks. And that was before we became parents. 

In Maddie’s newfound fascination with all things grown-up, her biggest obsession is the telephone.

She’s long enjoyed the cell-phone as an accessory, packing an old one in her “purse” and periodically taking it out, tucking it between her ear and shoulder, and walking around shouting. But for the past month or two she’s realized that when Mommy and Daddy do that, there’s a Real Live Voice talking back to them, and now nothing less will do.

Sometimes Maddie simply wants to expound on a subject and doesn’t really need feedback, and in those instances she’ll grab whatever’s handy – her plastic phone, Elmo, whatever – pretend it’s a phone, and begin lecturing. More often than not, though, she’s looking for a two-way conversation and there’d better be someone around willing to deliver.

We’re going through a point of astonishing physical development with Maddie, in more ways than one.

First off, her body has sprung up, seemingly overnight. Our last doctor’s visit showed that while her weight stayed in the 15th percentile, her height had jumped to the 75th! She’s walking around in either bell-bottom pants that fit around the waist, or pants that are long enough but show half her diaper as they swim around her middle. Suddenly she’s reaching the tops of counters with her hands, easily pulling off any dish or food in her way.

But even more than her physical development, her motor skills are suddenly in fast-forward. 

This week’s poll is up and running, and I’m snooping into your bags.

I’m interested in how you solve the Diaper Bag Dilemma: do you have one bag, that also acts as your purse? Do you have a couple different diaper bags of different sizes, depending on how long you’ll be gone from the house? Do you have an array of diaper bags simply to change out as your accessory? Do you simply stuff an extra diaper and Ziploc of wipes into your purse and call it a day? I want to know!

As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right side of my home page underneath the different category buttons. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

Last week’s poll results are in, and it’s an animated world, after all.

I asked who your child’s favorite character is, and we had a four-way tie between Dora the Explorer, Winnie the Pooh, Elmo, and “other”. As for our household, we fall squarely into the “Elmo” category.

But not without a fight. 

Brian and I have been talking recently about siblings for Madeleine, and what sort of “spacing” between them we’d ideally like to see. We’re both going through a renewed love affair with Maddie right now; just thinking about her makes either one of us break into a goofy grin. She’s such a great kid, and I mentioned to Brian that one of the things holding me back is my concern for Maddie.

Before you stop reading this and type up an email listing the “dangers” of having an only child, let me say that we’re not planning on making Maddie an only child. I know all the benefits and we’re eager to see what kind of big sister she’ll be. But let me tell you something: any parent of a single child who says they don’t have any fears about loving subsequent children less than their firstborn is totally lying. 

Remember how Madeleine was throwing up this past weekend?

Tuesday she was a bit clingy, a bit needy, with a very low fever. I thought it was teething, gave her Motrin at bedtime, and dismissed it. Wednesday morning she refused breakfast, which I again dismissed as no big deal because I’d gotten her up a bit early for a well-baby doctor’s visit.

Yeah, you can see this coming, can’t you.

In case you didn’t know, my nephew Dean was born recently! I’ve been waiting to say something until I had some photos to go with it.

And on that subject – honestly, John, sleep deprivation is no excuse. Should have had a link to Snapfish or something by now. But I’ll let it slide this time.

So here’s a picture of the cutie; the cammo is a nod to his maternal uncle, currently stationed in Iraq. I’m impressed that at even just a couple weeks old, he already has more hair than my daughter. As for Maddie, she’s very eager to teach Dean some tricks she’s learned along the way – how to throw a tantrum, how to pretend not to understand what “no” means, and so on. 

Warning: this blog is not for the faint of stomach. But then, neither is much of parenthood.

This past weekend, we went away for a lovely church retreat. Bucolic hillsides, changing trees painted with oranges and scarlets, apple picking: all the earmarks of a lovely and peaceful family weekend.

And to be fair, the first day was great. Madeleine saw for the first time a wide expanse of green we call “grass” (remember – city kid) and, after her initial fear, took to it like cows to, well, grass. She’d climb up a gentle hill slope; run down it shrieking and screaming with glee while holding Daddy’s hands, feet barely touching the ground; rest a few minutes at the bottom, panting; then turn and trudge determinedly back up the hill. We walked near a small stream, we chalked outside with other kids, we did it all.

And then the nighttime came. 

This week’s poll is up and running, and is quite a popularity contest.

Who
or what is your child’s favorite cartoon character? Elmo? Dora? Bob the
Builder? I want to know!

As usual, the poll will be up all week
on my home page, on the right hand side below all the navigation
buttons. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click
and submit to have your voice heard! 

Last week I polled you all on sign language: do you use it? How often?
If not, why not?

Interestingly enough, 80% of respondents
answered unanimously – you’ve taught a few key signs, but don’t knock
yourself out to teach baby a whole new language. The other 20% who
answered said they don’t use sign language on purpose, fearing it will
slow down speech development.

Brian and I spoke about teaching
Madeleine sign language before she was born. It seemed like an ideal
answer to alleviating a child’s frustration at her inability to
communicate effectively. As we asked around, we met people who swore by
it, and people who mentioned their concern that learning to sign would
delay speech; after all, why struggle to talk when you can already make
your needs known?