1 Mother 2 Another

I’ve had a couple mommies ask about baby-friendly bug repellant, so here ya go.

When summer came and we began hitting the park twice a day, I didn’t think much about insect repellant. After all, I’d never been one to get a lot of bites myself, so how bad could it be? Still, being the over-researched mommy that I am, I asked our pediatrician about it at our 12-month visit as a “just in case” scenario.

She told me we need to stay away from any chemical bug repellant for a few years still. Anything with Deet or pesticides in it is off-limits, since the chemicals are absorbed through the skin. The best solutions she offered were to either buy a “natural” bug spray, or stay indoors from dawn to dusk and avoid things like camping. Because of where we live, the West Nile Virus is a real possibility and she urged us to not look on mosquito bites as a rite of passage for kids.

I dutifully tucked the information away at the back of my brain, not really thinking I’d ever need to use it. Three nights later we returned from our evening park trip, only to discover four huge new welts on the back of Maddie’s legs. The next day, another one appeared after our morning play time!

Obviously, the mosquitos had discovered Madeleine’s delicious sweetness and declared it Open Season. 

. . . is Maddie’s two front teeth.

Heck, I’m not even that picky. Any teeth will do at this point.

Last week’s poll results are in, and I’m trying not to take it personally but it seems every vote you mommies cast on when your child got her first tooth was a smug (ok, to my jealous mind) reminder that my daughter’s smile is still gummy.

Most mommies said their child got a first tooth right around six months, which is textbook teething time. The rest of you were evenly spread out over the next six months right up to one year old, except for one poor mommy whose child was an early bloomer at four months. I say poor mommy since I can’t imagine nursing for so many months with a mouth full of teeth chomping down on you.

And out of everyone who voted, no one said her child got a tooth after one year old! Meanwhile, here I am with the close-to-fourteen-month Toothless Wonder. 

Ok moms, it’s time to ‘fess up.

We all know that life right after the baby comes is crazy, and we’ve all told the horror stories about not getting a shower for 12 days straight, or only getting one leg shaved before a baby meltdown.

Once those first few weeks (ok, first few months) are over, though, most of us still would prefer to do more important stuff – like sleep – than blow dry our hair to picture-perfect straightness any more; our meticulous grooming becomes a thing of the distant past.

So where do you fall? Are you still carving out time from those four hours a night of sleep to get up and get a full face of makeup on? Are you happy to aim for “neat”? Is a once-a-week shower now standard? Or are your sites set even lower?

Be honest – it’s an anonymous poll, after all. As always, the poll will be up all week on the right-hand side of the home page, under all the content tabs. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

I’ve always been a big Egyptology buff, and I’m lucky that I can indulge my fetish at the Metropolitan Museum of Art; their collection is amazing and I’ll happily walk through it and lecture (completely incorrectly, I’m sure, but my friends know even less than I do) for hours.

The Met recently had a lovely exhibit come through on Queen Hatshepsut, and when I saw the ads early this spring my pulse quickened and I made a mental note in my daytimer not to miss it.

Until reality came back, and I realized oh, yes, I have a kid now.

Unfortunately for Maddie, I really like Egyptology, so in the last days of the exhibit the Madster and I carefully packed a diaper bag and hopped into the car. I spent the drive excitedly talking about the 18th Dynasty and politics of the day; Maddie spent the drive excitedly talking about her plastic keys.

We recently had a couple of excruciatingly hot days here in New York City. And believe me, I know from hot; I’m a Texas girl. The difference between Texas heat and New York heat? Everything in Texas is air-conditioned, and the power company assumes you’ll actually use it.

In New York, however, you’ve got mass transit with its stiflingly hot subway platforms, a preponderance of small stores and homes without air-conditioning, and a power company that seems so surprised when power usage goes up during a heat wave that you almost feel sorry for them.

We spent several days in a brownout, making being out and about actually attractive in comparison to the sweaty, still air of our home. So we hit the park several times a day, and came up with lots of reasons to run stroller errands.

Even with the park being cooler than our home, Maddie still worked up a sweat running around. She’s always been a bit prone to heat rash, especially on her neck and back of her shoulders from snuggling while nursing. I’ve always thought it’d be something we simply lived with, but I recently found a product that’s helped us out a lot.

Maddie’s whole current separation anxiety thing seems to be a part of a larger issue these days: transitions.

We’ve spent a lot of time working on transitions from a parenting point of view (see previous blog), but Madeleine’s hitting an age of awareness where she needs a little help going from A to B.

Any change in her activity can set her off. And I don’t mean a change in her daily schedule; we’ve got a routine going and it helps her feel confident about what’s coming next, but we mix up our life enough that she’s not stressed if we skip the park one evening or don’t have Music Time one afternoon.

I mean smaller transitions: going from playing an instrument to having a diaper changed. Or leaving the swing set to get on the slide. It’s like she enters this timeless period where she’s content to do the same thing – be it playing with duckie while I brush my hair in the morning, or pushing her push toy up and down the hallway – ad infinitum. She enters a “task zone” and is startled and discomfited when that zone is interrupted. 

Last week we were in the midst of a so-dark-of-a-brown-it-may-as-well-be-black out from Monday night to Thursday afternoon, with a little reprise this Sunday and Monday. That means our fridge was barely hanging in there – the light comes on so dimly you think it must be nighttime in Refrigeratorland – but we had no microwave, no toaster oven, no computer or internet access (note the paucity of postings as I went through blogging withdrawal), no air conditioning, no air conditioning, no air conditioning.

Did I mention no air conditioning? 

This week’s poll is up and running, and if you’ve read my blog recently
the topic should come as no surprise:

When did your baby get his
first tooth?

Was he an early popper? Did they come in right
around six months? Nine months? One year? I’m dying to know if I’m the
only mother of a toothless toddler.

The poll will be up all
week on the right-hand side of this home page, below the content tabs.
Remember, you don’t have to be a registered user to vote; simply click
and submit!

Last week’s poll was all about the enforced isolation that comes with a sick kid. Most of you said you keep your child isolated until the fever’s broken and the mucous runs clear, while a few admitted to the “if baby feels up to it, baby’s out and about – it’s good for other kids to be exposed to germs” attitude. A couple also said they’re the “lockdown until it’s all gone” type of parent, and wish more people returned the favor.

The poll topic was fresh on my mind the past couple of weeks as Maddie went through her first illness. I’ve always been grateful for girlfriends who stay home from church when a little one’s sick, or who keep their baby turned away from me while we talk because he’s got a cold. I’ve watched my girlfriend Abby spend week after week with her two boys passing a cold back and forth between them as Abby slowly goes stir crazy. And I always assumed I’d repay the favor; that when Maddie got sick, I’d keep us politely at a distance until she was no longer contagious.

(Please note – this is the fourth in a four-part series on c-sections. If you’ve missed out, please read Deciding On A C-Section  Having A C-Section  and Recovering From A C-Section to catch up.)

It’s time to leave the hospital and head out into the world: just you, your husband, your new baby, and a neat incision.

The staff will talk through a sheet of instructions for you that you’ll only half hear because it’s dawning on you that you’re leaving the safe womb of the hospital and its 24/7 room service and care. You’ll set up a 2-week appointment to visit your OB and check on your scar’s healing, either before you leave or soon after you get home. You will –with great foresight – insist that your husband fill your Tylenol with codeine prescription before you leave the hospital, so there’s no lag time in your doses. You will take a Tylenol-codeine soon before you leave. Your doctor will instruct you to spend the next two weeks holding nothing heavier than the baby.

Ten minutes later, if you’re anything like me, you’ll pick up your baby.

In her car seat.

Let’s just say that’s a mistake and move on.

We’ve seen a return of separation anxiety in Maddie’s life over the past month or so, and let me tell you, I didn’t miss it.

We’re getting the new, expanded Separation Anxiety 2.0 version this time around, too.   Last time it was “merely” mommy being out of the room or out of sight, and constantly talking to her or coming back for her to see me seemed to help.  Of course, that didn’t work when I’d be gone for long stretches of time – say, at work – but those didn’t seem to be an issue once she got past the first few minutes and forgot I existed.

This time around we’re having trouble with her seeing me, Brian, or Gamma leave.  If Maddie’s in my room helping me get dressed in the morning and Daddy wanders in, grabs his watch, and wanders out, she sobs and throws herself at the door.  If Gamma’s over for the night and it comes time to go home, Maddie will cheerfully hug her and say “bye bye”, waving calmly, but once Gamma walks out the door and Maddie sees her walking away AND NOT COMING BACK, it’s as if she finally realizes what “bye bye” means and she begins pounding on the glass:  “No!  Come back!  I didn’t mean it!  That was just a game!  COME BACK!!!!”  She then collapses, inconsolable for a few moments.

Maddie’s been wrestling with a cold since last Monday, and we spent last week learning all about the varieties of snot, how little a toddler enjoys having her nose wiped, and that fun game of multiple personalities called “I’m Not Sick! I Feel Fine! I Feel Awful! Time To Have A Meltdown!”

I’ve been amazed at how long it’s taken to get out of her system; when my girlfriend Abby told me a week ago that it takes about seven days for a baby’s cold to run its course I remember being shocked, and certain my kid would be ahead of the curve. Alas, ‘twas not so, and the Snot Factory really didn’t shut down until Sunday.

Interlaced with the whole cold issue, though, seems to be a round of teething. Towards the end of last week Maddie became a new kind of cranky, looking for lots of cuddling and snuggles, bursting into tears, and hitting herself on the head. This was different from the playing furiously then stopping and dropping in her tracks to suck her thumb and roll wanly on the floor she’d been doing earlier in the week, and frankly, not nearly as fun.

She spent the whole weekend on an incredibly short fuse, clearly unhappy and needing a lot of pampering. Then Monday it went to a whole different level.

Last week’s poll was about food allergies and your infant. Did your baby show any signs of a having food allergy, either to something in your breastmilk or formula, or in solid foods?

The only two infant allergies reported were evenly split – soy and dairy. Not surprisingly, these are two of the most common allergies in babies and toddlers. Unfortunately, these two foods are in everything, under a variety of disguises, making them almost impossible to avoid.

The good news about food allergies in infants is that it’s almost always outgrown: the vast majority of infants with allergies will go on to be food allergy-free as adults, usually outgrowing their allergy by 2 or 3 years old. The exceptions to that, unfortunately, are peanuts, tree nuts, shell fish, and fish: those are rarely outgrown.

This week’s poll is up and running and should come as no surprise to you. Since Maddie was laid low with her first cold last week (and consequently Mommy was kept hopping as the in-house entertainment, but that’s a different blog), I’m incredibly interested to hear how you handle the whole quarantine situation.

Does your house go into lockdown when the nose starts running? Are you of the “if the snot’s clear the kids are free” school of thought? Or do you think kids get germs, it’s a fact of life, deal with it? I want to know what you think!

As always, the poll will be up all week, on the right hand side below all the category buttons. You don’t need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard!  

(Please note – this is the third in a four-part Friday series on c-sections. Read Deciding On A C-Section and Having A C-Section to catch up.)

You’ve had a c-section. The spinal anesthesia has worn off and your new best friend, the morphine drip, is happily running. You’ve been cleared to head to your new home for the next few days, your recovery room. Your OB smiles and waves bye-bye, promising to check up on you in the next day or so. Your baby is wandering around making new friends in the nursery.

Now what?

Here comes some of the icky stuff. 

Madeleine’s first cold seems to be a mercifully short one; a sort of starter cold, if you will, breaking us in gently.  She slept through her first full night of sickness as she normally does, which told me she’s not hugely congested to begin with.  I woke up the second morning hoping she was all better, but alas, ‘twas not the case.

Her eating was still off, and her mood swings still erratic, but I could see that Maddie was beginning to feel better on her second day of sickness.  Unlike her mother.

The one problem?  The kid wouldn’t nap.

Ok, as much as I’ve prevaricated and stretched the definition of “sick” to put off Maddie’s first illness as long as possible, my luck has finally run out.

This isn’t teething, it’s not a reaction to a vaccine, and it’s not a food allergy.

This is good, old-fashioned, bona fide snot-running-out-the-nose, congested-little-cough sick.

Maddie started a delicate, ladylike cough a few days ago and I naively chalked it up to teething.  What can I say; my kid’s 13 months old and has no teeth, so what do I know?  Other than the little cough, which troubled her not one whit, she had no symptoms, so it seemed as good a guess as any.

Yesterday, however, I woke up with a cold and judging from the sad little sneezes and Camille-like coughs coming from the moniter, I wasn’t the only one.  When I walked into the room to get Maddie up she was standing smilingly in her usual corner of the crib, anticipating Mommy’s Big Arrival.  I walked over to her and, as if she suddenly realized she didn’t feel good, she crumpled into a little heap and began sobbing.

Is there anything more painful, more knife-piercingly hard to take than your baby’s sad little eyes looking up at you as if to say, “Mommy, why don’t you fix this?”

Last week’s poll results are in, and wow, we’re a bunch of self-sufficient mommies.

I asked how often you were in phone contact with your pediatrician during Pumpkin’s first six months. I expected it to be a bit more all over the map, but you overwhelmingly responded that you spoke with your doctor only at well-baby visits. A few said you talked somewhere between 2 and 6 times in those first six months, while only one mommy bravely admitted to being practically on a first name basis with her pediatrician!

I have to admit, I thought I’d be on the high end of this poll, but since we talked to our doctor twice outside of well-baby visits during Maddie’s first six months, it puts us at the lower end. No martyr’s crown for me, dang it.

This week’s poll is up and running and I’m interested to see the results.

This week I’m asking about infant allergies – specifically food allergies. Food allergies seem to be on the rise in the U.S. and I’d like to know how you’re faring. Did your child react to dairy in your breast milk? Did soy formula produce a rash, or worse? Any wheat problems?

If you’ve got older kids, please respond only about allergies from the first two years, since most infants outgrow these allergies during toddlerhood and lifetime allergies are something else entirely.

As always, the poll will be up all week on the right-hand side of the front page, underneath all the category buttons. You do not need to be a registered user to vote; simply click and submit to have your voice heard! 

(This is part two of a four-part Friday series on c-sections; click here  for the first installment.)

When my daughter was discovered to be stubbornly breech, my OB talked through our options with us. Many doctors will automatically schedule a c-section for a breech baby; they worry about he head and neck being damaged during delivery; the chin can get hung up on your pelvis, the doctor can pull too hard . . . and brain damage results.

My doctor was willing to allow me to try a vaginal delivery if I went into labor naturally, provided the baby didn’t get too big and nothing seemed to be wrong with the situation. After much discussion and research, we decided to try it. My OB warned that she would have final veto power, and if I went into labor and anything even “smelled funny”, she’d whisk me into the operating room for a c-section. She also said she reserved the right to insist on a c-section if it got too close to my due date and I didn’t go into labor.

Baby girl didn’t turn, and I didn’t go into labor, and the c-section was scheduled. I was very nervous – not about the surgery itself, since I implicitly trusted my doctor and her track record. This just wasn’t how I’d envisioned the birth experience, and I didn’t want to spend my first important bonding weeks with my daughter on pain medication and distracted by the whole recovery process. I couldn’t find anyone who had had a c-section to tell me what to expect, how much it hurt, what “they” don’t tell you.

So in the event you need a c-section, here’s what to expect, how much it hurts, and what “they” don’t tell you. 

With so much free time to kill –er, enjoy – over the past holiday weekend, we hit the park a good twice a day, maybe more. Madeleine loves the park, and if you add up the time it takes to do the sunscreen “massage”, pack the stroller, walk to the park, play, cry about leaving, get home, and unpack, you’ve got a good hour you can tick off the timesheet.

Madeleine’s first love at the park was the swings, and it’s where we start our park adventure every time, creature of habit that she is. She then discovered the slide and quickly conquered that apparatus. Transitioning to Advanced Park Play, she’s moved on to the stairs.