1 Mother 2 Another

As I think I’ve mentioned a dozen times in the past week or so, Maddie’s
heavy into finger foods right now; they are her favorite new game, new
learned skill to show off. Finger foods make mealtime go much more
smoothly. I’ll also confess here that I will occasionally offer Cheerios
or diced fruit if I need her to sit still while I get things done, even
though it’s not a meal time. Since the booster seat is now where she
sits when she “helps” Mommy cook, Maddie will sometimes cast her eyes
downward, expecting to see a food tray, and then look at me as if to
say, “I’m bored.” What do I do if she’s exhausted all her kitchen toys
and I’m a good 15 minutes away from being able to let her loose? (Nope,
haven’t finished babyproofing the kitchen yet.) Crack open the dried
snacks.

Now this’ll seem off-topic, but bear with me for a second. When Maddie
went for her 9-month checkup she had blood drawn to test for lead
poisoning, standard here in New York. Since we just had construction
done, I was convinced I had released irretrievable lead dust particles
into the air and permanently damaged my daughter, though there was no
factual evidence for this theory

whatsoever. We got the blood results back last week, and Maddie’s
completely clean.

So I’ve been casting about trying to find something new to worry
obsessively over and came up with the whole “feeding her when she’s not
hungry” thing. Am I teaching my child that food is a place to turn for
comfort when she’s crying and I offer her a Cheerio? If she’s bored and
I give her a fruit puff, am I setting her up for a life with an eating
disorder or an unhealthy attachment to food? Am I being a bad mommy by
using food to baby-sit my child? After all, these first couple of years
are laying the groundwork for how she views and enjoys food for the rest
of her life. No pressure.

In general, Madeleine’s been a pretty great sleeper. Right at three months, she began sleeping through the night all on her own. (Don’t hate me – not my doing at all). I had read up on different sleep theories to be ready for the decision-making I was sure would come, and she just did it by herself. I looked around smugly, shrugged my shoulders, and went to sleep.

Then she hit four and a half months, and the sleeping through the night hit a snag. I felt bewildered until I turned to Brazelton’s Touchpoints to read up on her developmental stage; right there he said night wakings would be common for babies that had up until then slept through the night. We got through a rough couple of weeks before she found her sleep groove again.

A month or so later, she hit another snag. A couple weeks, and back to normal. A month or so later . . . stop me if this sounds familiar.

While it may be true that you can't buy love, kids make a convincing
case that you can buy an insanely flattering facsimile: let's call it
buying brief bouts of obsequious adoration.

Or at least contented quiet.

Yes, finger foods are the new currency in this family, guaranteed to
capture her attention and turn her from beast to beauty.

Maddie's been going strong on finger foods for a couple weeks and it's
her new favorite hobby. Every meal I offer her must have the balanced
nutritional palate I've always done, but include enough finger foods to
satisfy her new independent streak. She'll oftentimes get only a few
bites into her bowls of fruit or veggies or meat before she starts
turning impatiently from side to side, gesturing imperiously at her tray
as if to say, "Woman! Why is my tray empty when my belly is full? Get
that spoon out of my face and bring me some CHEERIOS!"

When my husband and I were in high school (yes, we’ve been together a
long time) he turned to me one night after leaving my parents’ house and
said, “Why do your parents call you ‘Dolly’?” I looked at him blankly.
“Um, because it’s my name?”

Truth be told, it was the first time I realized my family used nicknames
with me. Dolly was just one of my names, like (don’t laugh) Tinker (as
in Bell) or Sis or Baby Girl. We’re obviously a family of nicknamers and
it’s clearly been passed on to me; ask any friend of mine how often I
call them by their real name and the answer will be shockingly small. My
girlfriend Abby is LuLu (don’t ask); Jennie is Genevieve, Susanne is
Suzette, and so forth.

How you are called is a powerful thing; it can be degrading, painful,
loving, even caressing. My maternal grandmother called me Kiddo, and
still does occasionally much to my satisfaction. Dolly was never
degrading or belittling; it was just who I was and I still answer to it.
I find names to be very defining; both your given name and your
nicknames draw an outline of who you are for everyone to see.

Although Madeleine’s been eating solid foods for over three months now,
she just started finger foods about two weeks ago; I held off giving her
finger foods until after her nine-month checkup. She’s not gotten any
teeth yet, and I was worried that you needed teeth before you started
tackling food that requires chewing. And while I was hesitant to start
with the finger foods before having an official “OK”, I was also dying
to see my adorable cherub feed herself, so our pantry was fully stocked
when we headed to the doctor’s office in anticipation of that “yes” vote.

One recent weekend an astounding thing happened.  Brian had to go out of town at the same time my mother had planned a trip, which meant that I was –

Alone.

With.

The.

Baby.

By myself, in case that wasn’t clear.

Look, it’s not as if I’m a new mommy, fresh-off-the-maternity-ward.  I still remember the panic I felt when Brian’s two weeks of vacation were up and he headed back to work, leaving me to deal with the squalling stranger spitting up in my lap.  I felt ill equipped, unprepared, and oh yeah, sleep-deprived to the point of hallucination.  Didn’t someone need to see some sort of diploma, some certificate proclaiming me to be capable of taking care of a newborn?  How was I going to make it on my own?

And by the way, my husband works from home in our basement.

That was nine months ago, though, and I’m confident now in my parenting skills, in my ability to read Madeleine and interpret her desires, and in my strength to overcome her desires when her desire is, say, eating a bag of rock salt.  I know I can do this Mommy thing.

Today’s the last installment on introducing solids, and we get to the fun stuff – spending money. 

While you were registering for your baby shower, starting your baby on solid foods probably seemed so far away you didn’t give it a second glance; you were much more concerned about picking out the right stroller and the perfect itty bitty booties.  Now the time’s come, and here’s what you’ll need.

I was changing Maddie’s diaper the other day and noticed her snappy crotch was a little harder to snap than it had been.  I couldn’t figure out why – same diapers, same clothes, same girl – until it hit me:  Maddie’s growing! 

Right at nine months now, Madeleine’s just begun comfortably wearing 3-6 month clothing.  Far from being concerned about her lack of growth, I see her diminutive size as a chance to wallow in the teeny tiny baby clothes you usually only get to use for a few weeks.  Madeleine’s been wearing some of these little overalls and onesies for several months now, and I’ve grown a bit attached to them.  I know that when the time comes to move her on to the next size up, I’ll be loath to part with much of her clothing and the memories they represent.  In addition, keeping everything’s important since we pass clothing amongst girlfriends to help keep the cost down.

So when it comes to time change out her wardrobe, how I store things becomes a bit crucial.  Fortunately, organizing is a hobby (though Brian calls it a sickness) of mine and I’ll rise to the challenge joyfully.

Let me say first off that I’m not a big fan in general of shopping outside of a gift registry; items on that list aren’t picked whimsically (or easily, in my family’s argumentative case), and the car seat and bottle scrubber are on there because they’re really needed.  Sexy and fun it ain’t, but trust me, new parents will wax ecstatic over a Diaper Genie.